Guts and Grog Tooned Up

Friday, October 28, 2011

31 days of Horror Nerd Indoctrination- Day Twenty Eight: Friends

     When I say friends I don't mean  that shitty show with Jenifer Aniston. If I was talking about her I would be talking about her pre boob job in Leprechaun because that was sweet, plus it had that dude from Pee Wee's Playhouse that ended up being John Wayne Gacy. When I hear the word friend if I was gonna talk about a sitcom it would be Perfect Strangers because the theme song encompasses friendship. I mean you just hear it and you wanna buy your friend a drink and talk horror. I also would think of the Golden Girls because they were fucking hilarious and had amazing friendships. The thing is though I am just rambling.  Who gives  a shit. When say friends I mean the fucking bad asses that you talk horror, go to conventions and go hunting with. That is a friend.
     I remember in elementary school just waiting for recess so I could go out to the playground and talk to my friend about how Child's Play was or how fucking bad ass it was that Jason was on the Arsenio Hall show.  These are some of my earliest memories of horror broner's. After school we would walk to the video store and look at all the horror movies pick one out each take it home and the next day we would meet back on the playground and discuss. We were like Siskel and Ebert only less douchy. 
     Later on in life when I became obsessed with collecting it was essential to have a hunting companion. I mean I had a good time going out alone and it wouldn't stop me but there is something to be said about sharing the experience. Weather it Jacob Von Klingele, Gabe Nye the Science Guy, Jimmy Caution or Jeremy Gaulkenstein and sometimes all of the above. We would go from store to store trying to find that out of print copy of Last House on Dead End Street or The two disc Big Trouble in Little China special edition.  We would bullshit movies as well as other things the entire time and grab coffee and food in between and after and talk about our finds. We had a code. It was like honor amongst thieves. We may all be excited to find Industrial Symphony Number One but they all knew I had Lynch's cock down my throat way farther then them.  The same was said the other way. If we found the Hellraiser tin I would be stoked but I wouldn't suspend it from my dick like Jacob Von Klingele. The code was of course off if they weren't there. I mean a little friendly competition was necessary. That phone call explaining that you found the Criterion Robocop was priceless. You could hear the tears through the phone. 
    Holidays are also important as finding that gift that you know is gonna make them shit their pants is as rewarding as the cash you get for finding a missing child. Getting gifts is sweet as well, don't get me wrong.  Gabe Nye getting me the Puppet Master chest with the Blu Ray for Axis of Evil or Jacob getting me a Serial Mom cereal box.
    Conventions and signings are definitely amazing but better with friends. I went to the first Twin Peaks fest by myself and while amazing the next year when Jacob joined me it added to it ten fold.  There is a euphoria about planning these with friends and once you get there it's like having the best orgasm, like when you get some help from the prostate.
    Now that we are in the distant future, and yes I realize that this makes no sense. It does to me and that's all that matters things have changed. You still have all that but with it being easier than ever to meet and stay in contact with people from all over the world you get a whole new group of friends. I have made some pretty bad ass friends that I have never met. Mr. Gable and I share a bond with bad movies that would combat those rapey eyed vampires any day. I don't think Edward bought Bella a signed The Room poster. Eternal love my ass. Micah has sent me movies, Robo sent me a package that made me feel nine all over again.  More people than I can name have helped me by spreading the grog love. Re-tweets, re-blogs, recommendations and just support that you can't always find from your friends that are around all the time.  The Bad Netflix Movie Marathons that have you watching a movie with tons of friends that you have never met in all the time zones.  Does that mean we can all cheat on each other with each other? I mean if a different zip code changes the rules what the fuck does a time zone do?
    Without sounding like an emo bitch I am just saying that all the support I have received over my thirty one years of existence weather it be on the playground or on the interwebz I raise my glass to you and may you drink until you vomit blood and summon a dark lord who will grant you wishes that aren't a trick, unless your wish is a trick.



WizWor said...

You're a teddy bear man! :)

Guts and Grog Reviews said...

The emo teddy bear from Supernatural? Or Maybe Demonic Toys.