Guts and Grog Tooned Up

Monday, October 24, 2011

31 days of Horror Nerd Indoctrination- Day Twenty Four: Music

     Horror and music has been linked together like Sid and Nancy. It's a bond that can't be broken but murder and overdose may occur.  I think back to being a kid and my love for Iron Maiden and Black Sabbath were probably my first foray into horror inspired music. I mean sure they aren't exactly horror but who could argue with their dark overtones.  I mean Eddie. Dude is basically a zombie that bangs his head.  The first time I remember horror and music completely linked is when I let the VHS for Nightmare on Elm Street three play all they way through the credits and Dokken came on and metaled my face off. Alice Cooper with Prince of Darkness was another one. I had that on cassette and would listen to it over and over. DJ Jazzy Jeff also peaked my interest when he got the Freddy lawyers all up in arms singing about a nightmare on his street.  The Fat Boys also had a run in with Freddy and Freddy got his own record of greatest hits, granted they were just bad dance music with Freddy saying some shit I still find myself listening to it from time to time.

      As a teenager I became obsessed with everything Danzig touched. The Misfits were my go to. Catchy, fast and full of horror references.  Night of the Living Dead, Halloween I could go on forever but this is not just and article on The Misfits. Danzig's other voyages into music also dealt with plenty of horror. Samhain, do I need to explain? Danzig his self titled group and probably my favorite is anthems to the devil himself.

    Listening to The Cramps is basically like watching  a sleazy monster movie. With songs like Bikini Girls with Machine Guns and Journey to the center of a girl how can you go wrong.  The Cramps live is a spectacle in itself. Lux Interior was a showman that would of made William Castle jealous.  There were plenty of other bands that put out horror themed music from the old days. Nick Cave and Lydia Lunch, Fear, TSOL, The Damned, 45 Grave and countless more.

     These days there are an insane amount of bands out there making their name in horror. I mean just pick up an issue of Rue Morgue. Some of the standouts would of course be Nekromantix who have put out record after record of awesome. Creature Feature put out their first record which blew up and then kind of disappeared  or a while but are now back with a vengeance. Half of them just put out the Rufus Rex CD while a new Creature Feature album is slated soon. Horrorpops are a great Psychobilly band that have put out three great records including Hell Yeah, Bring it On, and Kiss Kiss Kill Kill.

     We are now circling back to where we started. Metal. There are so many metal bands and sub genres that I could write a fucking book. Well, at this point I don't feel like that so I am just gonna name some of the highlights from over the last ten years or so. Ghoul with Maniaxe and Splatterthrash. Splatterhouse with The House that Dead Built. Lord Gore, Blood Freak, and Frightmare have put out nothing but perfect albums including Die Young, Stay Pretty, and leave a flesh eating corpse, Sleaze Merchants,Re- Sickened and Bringing back the Bloodshed. F.K.U.(Freddy Kruger's Underpants) have put of three of my favorite albums of all time with Sometimes they come back.....To Mosh, Where Moshers Dwell, and Metal Moshing Mad. Funerot gets a special mention for covering a song from UHF on Stranded in Time as well as putting out other thrash worthy albums. Impetigo is great if you want longer samples than songs and how can you forget Exhumed? The inventors of gore metal.

      Now we get into soundtracks, scores, and songs from films. This could get out of control as I am obsessed with soundtracks. I listen to them pretty much all the time. If I can find the record of them that is even better. Gabe Nye just got me the Maniac soundtrack that Mondo put out and it is a work of art. To try and avoid making this one of the Game of Thrones books I am going to do two separate lists. One of scores one of songs. Here we go.

Top twenty Horror Scores

20. Zombieland- David Sardy- This is one of the few new films on the list. This movie is not perfect, it is however a fuckton of fun. Regardless of how you feel about the movie David Sardy creates so much atmosphere with his simple yet effective score. Its like Slug up in the mutha fucka. I put this in and  just become happy, and the next time I am sad, it manages to bring up pretty much every emotion possible in the same score. That's impressive in my book. Its like turning a preist on with a vagina. Not an easy task yet it seems so simple.

19. The Exorcist- Mike Oldfield- Do I really need to say anything about this, its  a classic, I hear it and I think of a girl banging herself with a crucifix, that's a plus in my book.

18. The Omen- Jerry Goldsmith- This song is so eerie, Fantomas did a version on their Directors cut alub and it was so kick ass I wanted to kick a baby in its soft spot, repeatedly.

17. Predator- Alan Silvestri- So when I hear this I do bad things, I will be just sitting there relaxing with a drink and all of a sudden I hear da da da da da duh. Next thing I know I'm at the top of the stairs Predator crawling down(by that I usually mean falling or rolling down in  an attempt to crawl.

16. The Thing- Ennio Morricone- This guy is a fucking genius and this score is one of his best and that is saying something. So fucking creepy. Man is the warmest place to hide.

15. Psycho- Bernard Hearmann- I feel like a lot of these I dont need to explain, but I'm drunk so I will anyways. You here this and you know right away. Don't stay in a hotel, dont get to close to your mom and dont take a shower. I guess hippies must watch Psycho.

14. Hellraiser- Chistopher Young- Not Clive Barkers first choice but still effective. I want to stick pins in my dickhole when I hear this. Is that weird?

 13. Trick r Treat- Douglas Pipes- Not to be confused with the sweet Rocksploitation film from the 80's about Sammi Curr, this movie took way to long to come out as it was one of the best horror films in years. Douglas Pipes creates a thick terrifying yet fun atmosphere for this song and is a must own for any fan of great film scores.

12. Puppet Master- Richard Band- Watching the Puppet Master films is still one of my fondest memories from growing up, and within one note of Richard Bands wonderful score I feel like I am a kid again.

11. Gremlins- Jerry Goldsmith- Another classic, Jerry Goldsmith is definitely one of the masters. I listen to this and am scared to feed anything after midnight. Its weird.

10. Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer- Steven A. Jones- This makes me wanna take a shower, in blood, but still a shower. The music captures the bleakness of the film so well.

9. Hardware- Simon Boswell - A truly underated film with such a uneasy score.

8. I Stand Alone- Thierry Durbet- Gasper Noe is a sick fuck. This movie makes me feel like the worst person ever. I love it.

7. Suspiria- Goblin-Goblin are the shiznit, Suspira is so fucking good it gives me penis Tourette's.

6. Nekromantik- Daktari Lorenz- Corpse fucking has never quite been this beautiful. Wow.


 5. House of the Devil- Jeff Grace- Another newbie but god damn is it an eerie score. Not to mention one of the best films of last few  years.

 5. The Taint- Oh my God. I am addicted to this. So catchy and fucked up, just like the movie.

4. Tenebre- Goblin- Goblin wins again. This makes me wanna dance. Dance after I strangle a helpless victim while wearing awesome gloves.

3. Phantasm- Fred Myrow/Malcolm Seagrave- So fucking creepy and amazing and beautiful and awesome and bad ass and scary and killer, I could go on all day. They played this on the piano in an episode of Boy meets World and it shows up in a hip hop song as a sample. Booooooooooooooooooyyy!!!

2. Cannibal Holocaust- Riz Ortolini- Seeing some of the most fucked up imagery while listening to one of the most beautiful songs is very confusing. Its like getting raped on a Sealy Posturepedic bed.

And for number one we have a tie, one old one in the last ten years.

1. Bubba Ho-Tep- Bryan Tyler- Don't even have anything clever to say. This score makes me so happy, this movie is a masterpiece and makes my shit rock hard brah.

1. Halloween- John Carpenter- If  I have to say anything you have no business reading this list.

Top twenty songs from films

20. Straight between the eyes- Anvil(Sleepaway Camp 2: Unhappy Campers)

Anvil was a bad ass band that never really got the credit they deserved till recently when an amazing documentary was made about them came out. What they did get was to be on the soundtrack of one of the best sequels this side of C.H.U.D. 2: Bud the Chud or Breakin 2: Electric Boogaloo.

19. Critter Skitter- David Newman(Critters)

This song makes me wanna dance like my life depended on it, Ill pour milk on myself and shit.

 18. Everybody gets laid tonight- Hammerhead(Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter)
This song makes me so happy, Its like Journey done with lyrics by a Posicore band.

17. When the rain begins to fall- Jermaine Jackson/Pia Zadora(Voyage of the rock Aliens)- One of the main movies that should be on DVD. Jesus Balls.

16. Taking over the World- David E. Russo/Kirk R. Thatcher/Michael Mclure/David Friendly(Spaced Invaders)

This is the best rap song maybe ever, The Leprechaun rap is up there but this is so fucking good and it is a sham that I cant find it anywhere to post on here. I will murder the earth on my conquest to find this. Later though I'm lazy at the moment.

15. Psychos in Love- Carmine Capobianco/Debi Thiseault(Psychos in Love)

Do I have to say anything a great song and a great film, truly underrated.

14. Me Against the World- Lizzy Borden(Black Roses)
Bad ass movie, Bad ass song, Bad ass Band. FIN.

13. Move your dead bones- Dr Re animator(Beyond Re animator)

When you put in a horror film and check the music video in the special features you of course assume they get a middle aged man from Spain to do a dance song with explosions and dancing zombies don't you? I do.

 12. Leatherface- Laaz Rockit(Leatherface:The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3)
Bad ass Thrash about one of the bad assiest badasses. Leatherface Mother FUCKS!!!!!

11. The Monster Squad- The Monster Squad(The Monster Squad)

Stephen King Rules! Everything in this movie rules, This is my childhood without the molestation. Wolfman has Nards!!!

10. Lost in Time- Dwayne Muffia Simon/Daryl big daddy Peirce(Waxwork 2:Lost in time)

Another great rap to another great sequel. 

9. Shocker- Dudes of Wrath(Shocker)

So this guy is named Guy Man Dude. He does look alot like that guy from Kiss but whatever, SO GOOD.

8. Trick or Treat- Fastway(Trick or Treat)

The best rocksploitation film ever made and such an amazing soundtrack. Death to false metal.

7. Tonight(We'll make love until we die)- SSQ(Return of the living Dead)
Trash dances naked to this, and it rules, did I say Trash danced Naked?

7. 5.   Rocky Erickson- Burn the Flames(Return of the living dead) Rocky is and has always been a badass. This song makes me wanna give Gandhi a Clown Frown.

6. Manic Depresso(I'm so happy)- Sykotic Sinfony(Bad Channels)
 This movie is still one of my favorites of the glorious Full Moon days and I used to just watch this part over and over. Checked out some of their other stuff. Not that good. But I would rape a priest if it meant getting this song put in the hall of fame.

5. Killer Klowns- The Dickies(Killer Klowns from Outer Space)

14. Pet Semetary- The Ramones(Pet Semetary)

One of the best punk bands ever. Check. One of the best movies with the boys have a penis kid. Check. You get it.

3. Dream Warriors- Dokken(A Nightmare on elm St 3: Dream Warriors)

Dokken is back for the attack, this time they attack Freddy and it is BADASS! In fourth grade I watched this video at the end of the VHS so many times that it wore out that part of the tape.

1. He's Back(The Man behind the Mask)-Alice Cooper(Friday the 13th 6: Jason Lives)

Alice Cooper before he found God in is Guillotine wrote bad ass music, this time he wrote about the best retard with a machete ever. Nice. 

    Well that is just the surface of horror music. Some of my favorites are represented and everyone should put on the song from Voyage of the Rock Aliens and do a little dance.


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