Manborg- Steven Kostanski

A man is killed in action and brought back as a cyborg to fight Nazi demons in the future along with Liu Kang from Mortal Kombat. There is your basic plot. Is it a simple one? Yes, but that is part of Manborg's charm.

Astron 6 return with this dystopian future epic that seems to be a lost "Sega CD" game. This is a movie I would of grabbed off the shelf at my neighborhood video store as a child. Manborg could of ended up being a bad spoof, but instead it brings back all of the elements that made these movies great in the eighties/nineties. The acting is the right kind of bad, the writing is the right kind of fun, and the length is the right kind of short.

Manborg is a legitimate sci-fi/action film that can proudly sit on your shelf with films like "Robocop" and "They Live" as well as "Class of 1999" and "1990: The Bronx Warriors."

3.5/5


-Tromeric

Beyond The Black Rainbow- Panos Cosmatos

Here's the best description I can think of for this movie: If David Cronenberg directed his interpretation of Stanley Kubrick's 2001: A Space Odyssey with the 80's flare and soundtrack of Drive, then you would get Beyond the Black Rainbow.

That's really all you need to know. For some people that sentence will be exciting and for others it sounds terrible, and to be honest, it's kind of both depending on what you're looking for. Beyond the Black Rainbow is the film debut of director Panos Cosmatos and it's certainly interesting. It's vibrant, experimental, visually arresting, slow-paced, confusing, ambiguous and borderline pretentious at times, but it's definitely interesting. The story follows a girl named Elena who is held captive in a space-age 80's set called Arboria that looks directly out of a Stanley Kubrick film. Elena is heavily sedated and held hostage by a creepily monotone villain that is watching over her. Oh, and did I mention that Elena has a psychokinetic power to make your head explode a la Conenberg's Scanners? Well she does.

If this synopsis sounds confusing, it's because it is. It really doesn't shed much more light on the vague premise than that. Cosmos has chosen to take a style-over-substance approach to his film and I think it happens to work well. One spectacular scene in particular shows our villain downing a handful of pills while the wall behind him begins to melt like a bright red candle. It's scenes of visual imagination like this that make up for the lack of storytelling and characters in the story which makes it a pretty polarizing experience. If you enjoy films such as Enter the Void, 2001: A Space Odyssey, Moon, The Fountain, etc. that tend to shine visually more than logically then I would definitely recommend checking this one out. Being buzzed is highly encouraged.

3.5/5

Cody DeLarge

Attack the Block- Joe Cornish

       The Green Street Hooligans vs Manbearpig.  Seriously the creatures looked like gorillas in the mist fucked a crite and that baby ate a raver kid.  That gets me to one of my only complaints. Their fucking mouths.  They were so CGI it was fuckdiculous. The aliens weren't the best thing I have ever seen but they were pretty bad ass till they opened the stupid mouths.  Since I got the complaint out of the way lets get into why this movie kicked me in my pregnant stomach.
     The Kids were bad ass to the core of the earth. I would not fuck with these kids and I was already buying my own cigarettes when they were born. They were tuff as nails and believable to boot. With out over explanation you got that they had some fucked up lives and banded together to take care of each other. Sure they were involved in some shady shit but deep down inside they were brothers at arms. 
      The story.  It got started right away.  It was like going on a date and sticking your hand up a girls skirt before she has told you here name.  What I mean is it was my kind of date.  The thing is this girl didn't push you away. She was into it and for the next ninety minutes you get to have wonderful filthy sex with her. 
     The gore. Bad ass.  There are some great scenes of faces being ripped apart, heads being tossed like a  beach ball at some shitty concert that Dave Matthews frequents. No Bro Rape though. Get your natty ice, your game cube and your roofies and watch these goonies talk some shit and kill some aliens.

4/5

Tromeric

30 Day Horror Challenge day 11

Day eleven brings us to sci-fi horror.  I had to think about this one a lot. I love Alien but not quite as much as many people out there. Aliens is sweet but I wish Paul Reiser would get raped in the face I hate him so much so it kinda ruins it for me. Tetsuo is amazing and I almost went with Predator as well its amazing. When all is said and done though there was only one choice. And that choice was....
     Hardware has it all for me. The atmosphere draws me in ass soon as I put it in and the music is so good. I get that shit stuck in my head and it wont go away.  Cameos from Iggy and Lemmy.  The effects are so slimy and gooey and well I just fucking love it. If you haven't seen this you are missing out.

Tromeric

Predators- Nimród Antal

Rickity the Field Mouse, Eric Forman, Razor Charlie, Angélica, and Jimmy Jump wake up after drinking some mountain dew.  After exploring for a bit they come to the conclusion that they may not be in Kansas anymore. That's just the first couple minutes, after this

badassary ensues. Fuck the Rush Hour sequels AKA the Alien vs Predator movies. Bullshit ass shit I say. Predators have not been bad ass since the Glove took em on back in the day in Los Angeles. This is by no means a masterpiece, its slightly predictable, and pretty basic story wise. Who gives a fuck, its two hours of ass kicking, spine ripping, beheading, and killing the fuck out of predators and humans alike. This movie is more fun than putting Christopher Reeve at the bottom of the stairs and setting his lazy chair at the top. Akira Kurosawa guest directs a scene and it is fucking amazing. Ok that may be a lie, but I still think his ghost was involved somehow.  There is a few homages to the original which are awesome but not recockulous. The music is great not as great as the wonderful Alan Silvestri score but still very fitting and definitely  inspired by the original.  Evan is making me ramble, if you need more than this to go out and see this you may be nothing more than a slack jawed faggot, make the time, see I don't have time to bleed but I do have time to see this and you should to, get to the chopper and thank that fairy tale in the sky that there is finally another Predator movie you can get behind.

3.5/5

Tromeric

Splice- Vincenzo Natali

So I want to review Splice, I'm gonna be honest. That's about as difficult as getting a Dendrophiliac to take his dick out of the Redwood in your front yard. Ill sum it up as much as I can without giving away to much. The Pianist and the chick from go create some Turd looking monsters that slug about, they are stoked. The crazy boss lady says lets do some bullshit instead of making a super freak, they are like fuck that we will do it anyways. They figure out that bad music is holding them down so they switch it up and come up with a workable sack of slime. They argue and joke bout not letting it come to term but they do it anyways. The Pianists brother who looks like Dawn Wiener is suspicious. Baby Mc Slime sack stings the shit out of mommy as if she was one of the extras on Tailsting. It's alive, and it looks like Corky's dick and Kangaroo Jack mated. Blah Blah Blah It learns things and goes crazy. Why am I even bothering to describe this, I cant go much further without ruining it. This movie is crazy, Its entertaining, its interesting, its kinda confusing and it will make you stand up and scream at the top of your lungs what the fuck just happened? Is this a masterpeice? I doubt it, but it is something different and interesting in a time of rehash of rehash.

3.5/5

Tromeric

Fire in the Sky- Robert Lieberman

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Quntum Vector Intercept Teaser

Here is the teaser for a movie you should keep your eyes out for, From what I've seen of it, it should rule. Plus I have a small role in it, so you can get drunk and make fun of me. The tables have turned.