Guts and Grog Tooned Up

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Lo- Travis Betz

Not at all what I expected. Creatures are kinda bad ass looking, all takes place in one room for the most part, its like panic room but better. Demons wearing Swastica patches and singing about love in a Do Wop type band. Give it a shot.



Birdemic: Shock and Terror- James Nguyen

Has your mind ever been blown? Well my brain just got a Blow Job from James Nguyen. Not just any BJ but like one of the ones that takes just a little to long, like maybe you drank to much Tequila and even though it feels pretty damn good you just cant quite finish and it kind of starts to hurt. Some how in a sick way its a good pain. You cant really blame her cuz God damn is she putting her all into it. About two thirds of the way through the pain starts to feel really good and you know its finally gonna happen. The pay off. Sure your a little raw but its the price you will pay. Its getting towards the end and she knows it, she starts working really hard, maybe bring the balls into the mix, now its good, even blissful, you don't even know why you had doubts that it was gonna end well. Its cumming its cumming and just at the last minute she sticks her finger in your ass and you blow, you made it and God Damn was it worth it. Well Birdemic is like that only your getting a BJ from the coolest looking animated gif birds you have ever seen.



Thursday, February 11, 2010

Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever- Ti West

So the First Cabin Fever is one of the best horror films of the last decade. Cant say that for this. I will say have a drink and enjoy a bizarre film. From what I understand the studio changed this enough that Ti West didn't even want his name on it. It is a bit confusing the tone is well Jumbled. Everyone in it sounds like they have a speech impediment and the dialog is almost surreal. With all that said the gore is great and Giuseppe Andrews returns to play Winston and that alone is worth it. When he yells at the the guy to " turn down the fucking Sepultura and listen man" amazing. His speech about sashimi pussy is also classic. And probably the best line in the film "She told me she was 18, and I always believe children". Winston's cousin gives a cop a backyard style peoples elbow and girls vomit blood all over. Crack open a cold one and enjoy the madness.