A Horrible Way to Die- Adam Wingard

     A Horrible Way to Die is kinda like getting a pretty girl home. You are excited and everything is going well. You are enjoying yourself but kinda drunk so everything is kinda shaky.  She starts working the shaft and you are totally into it. She gets to the balls and you are so stoked.  Its time to switch. You start working from the top. You unzip her pants and low and behold it's a giant cock.  You think about running but at this point you are to far in. You say fuck it and just start working her shaft. She reciprocates and in the end you can look past the fact she had a cock because you came and it was kinda fun. You know it was not what you expected on going in but sometimes a surprise is good even if you have to work around a dick to get it.
     Fuck you M. Night. This is a twist.

3.5/5


Tromeric

Cyrus: Mind of a Serial Killer- Mark Vadik

     Serial Killer movies are a dime a dozen. Some like Henry:Portrait of a Serial Killer and The Manson Family use the subject matter and make a pretty god damn compelling and beautiful movie. On the other hand you have bullshit like all the Kane Hodder serial killer films and of course one of the worst filmmakers of all time Uli Lomel. Cyrus is somewhere between.
  Cyrus is told through many flashbacks that Lance Henriksen is reporting to Danielle Harris. That dude from Sleepwalkers plays Cyrus for most of the film and Tiffany Sheppis gets naked and plays his evil whore of a mom. Doug Jones takes the eyes out of his hands to talk some bullshit about serial killers. The thing is most of these people along with pretty much everyone else do a pretty fantastic fucking job. How can you not love Mr Frank Black himself? Danielle Harris seems like she cares the least out of all these. I generally love her, especially in The Last Boy Scout but I don't know how much I buy her as go getter reporter. The one who deserves most of the credit is enemy of the cats Brian Krause. He plays Cyrus so cold and calculated without overdoing it as I would imagine would be an easy thing to do with the character.  The effects are used well overall outside of a head explosion that could of been amazing but was just to CGI heavy. The biggest flaw with Cyrus are the inter cut interviews. These are so out of place and boring. They just seem like filler to reach the ninety minute run time which is one thing I will never understand. why is a 75 minute movie that works better than a ninety minute movie so full of shit.  If they would of just kept Cyrus and maybe a little bit of Lance telling it I think it would of been a much more powerful film. Every time I was getting sucked into the story some random ass person would pop up and spout off some facts they learned from Frontline.
    If you enjoy serial killer films and have ninety minutes you don't mind wasting give this a shot, otherwise look up Mr. Jim Van Bebber or John McNaughton.

 2.5/5


Tromeric

30 Day Horror Challenge day 15

     Serial Killers.  Since I can remember I have loved reading about serial killers.  I would always go right to the true crime section in the library or used book store when I was a wee little lad.  This of course continued in my love for film.  There have been some great ones such as Henry:Portrait of a serial killer which is almost what I went with or Monster which I loved.  Ed Gein of course has been used many times in everything from Deranged to Ed and his Dead Mother not to mention the two movies just called Ed Gein. Just to note I enjoyed all of these except the newest one where I am suppose to believe that Kane Hodder is Ed Gein. The thing is for the most part I like all of the Serial Killer films.  Even shit like the made for TV BTK movie, totally dug it. Basically as long as Uli Lommel had nothing to do with it I will probably at least enjoy it for what it is. There is one movie that stands up above and beyond all of these those and that of course is what I went with.

     I had been reading about this for years thanks to people like Chas Balun, it was known as Charlies Family and I wanted to see it so bad. There were bootlegs you could find but I just never had any luck.  Eventually I heard Jim Van Bebber was going to film some more footage even though it had been like 15 years or something and re-cut it and put it out. I was stoked. I went and picked it up the day it was released took it home and had my mind blown.  It was so raw and vulgar and beautiful all at the same time.  Since it had been so long the interviews with the family where believable as they had aged quite a bit.  It plays out like a faux documentary with flashbacks and has a No holds barred attitude that would make Hulk Hogan jealous.


Troemric

I Saw the Devil- Jee-woon Kim

     Holy shit, I Saw the Devil takes the serial killer/revenge flick turns it around and fucks it right in the ass with that strap on from Seven.
     Oldboy himself has himself a little hobby, he likes to rape, torture and kill bitches. He is kinda like BTK except less of a pussy because he doesn't go to church after. He stops his short bus to help Storm Shadows fiance how has a flat. He decides fuck helping he would rather shatter the window and her face.  This of course pisses Storm Shadow off so he goes on a hunt fucking Charles Bronson style.  First he straight up fucks up a couple of  lowlifes until he finds the right one.  He then sets out to make this guy feel the pain he has felt.  The thing is how do you make a monster feel?  Unless your talking about Frankenstein's monster from The Monster Squad its not that easy. You have to become a monster yourself. I will stop here as the ride is one of the highlights of this.
     In conclusion watch this fucking movie.  It is damn near perfect.  The cinematography is fucking beautiful, I have never seen a naked Asian woman covered in blood and wrapped in plastic look so god damn amazing. The music is spot on and the editing keeps the story flowing more than an anemic on her period.  The acting is flawless and well just about everything in this is perfect.  We may have it folks the first perfect film of the year. I saw the devil and fucked me real good.

5/5

Tromeric

Dear Mr. Gacy- Svetozar Ristovski

     I love Serial Killers.  I have read so many books, constantly  read serial killer calenders articles and look at all their merch with seamen leaking out of little tromeric dreaming of owning all the statues, not to mention all the movies I have spent time watching. There have been some great ones, amazing documentary's, movies like Monster and the Manson family that have blown my fucking mind, and of course all the shitty ones. I mean for Christs sake I watched a movie where fucking Kane Hodder plays Ed Gein. Really?  The thing is I still watched it and would watch it again. I guess what I am saying is I am slightly biased.  With that said, Dear Mr. Gacy is in its own fucking boat.  Its like The Asylums Titanic 2, no Leo love bullshit here just badassary. 
     Dear Mr. Gacy is very dialogue driven. It is based off the book The Last Victim by Jason Moss and is very different than the majority of the Serial Killer movies that have been released.  It is mostly carried by William Forsythe who plays Gacy in a chilling and remarkably realistic fashion. Jessie Moss is also unbelievable as Jason Moss.
     This movie will get under your skin, the letters and conversations had between Gacy and Moss will have you clenching your asshole as if you were playing the oops poops gamble. It is very tension based and is more effective than setting a horse loose in Christopher Reeves house. From start to finish you will cringe at these convo's.  They just keep happening.  You are watching these two men get underneath each others skin but in turn your skin will rip itself off and start making itself into lampshades.  I am rambleing. Gordon and Evan are working it in my bloodstream.  If you want to see some great fucking acting that is equally interesting as it is disturbing give this shit a watch.  We all have a dark side and it is important to delve into it in healthy ways such as reading and watching and studying, otherwise you may become this sick fuck who can only feel alive if your the one that everyone is reading essays on.
     Long story short.  Great acting, disturbing as fuck, interesting and important. 

3.5/5

Tromeric

S&man- JT Petty

     So I have been seeing little things about this here and there but  I have purposely avoided finding out much about it as I prefer to see movies like this with little knowledge.  
     I went to the mall today to grab a few DVD's so I could have an all day tequila and horror film marathon, while looking through the racks I came across this and since I love JT Petty due to The Burrowers being insanely bad ass and basically Tremors meets The Wild Bunch. I started off the day watching a few episodes of TV from last night such as community and It's always sunny and then cracked open the Tarantula and started off with the Psycho Legacy as I preferred to see this a tad(not a fat grunge band) more sober than the rest.  Now that it was finished and I randomly got some tamales it was time to move on so I put in this little movie I knew very little about aside from the director. 
     I don't want to ruin much, as I said knowing little is very beneficial in this.  What I will say is HOLY FUCKING CHRIST BALLS!  What starts out as a documentary following a dude that likes to film the lady's turns into what at first what seems like a doc on the sub-genre  of fake snuff broooootal low budge Ala Toe Tag or Bill Zebub.  While this is interesting the real story starts when JT meets up with Eric, the maker of the S&man films.  This is where your insides carefully drop into  your rectum.  It has been a long fucking time since I have seen a movie where I was literally on the edge of my seat. It may be random but as far as I can remember the last time I felt this tension that wasn't haute was when I saw The Hurt Locker. I literally almost fell off my couch, and I'm full of tequila.  JT has made a movie that is more well crafted than a stumpkin.  Go out and buy this movie.  I have loved JT this far but this movie cements him as a modern master right up there with Mike Mendez and the rest of the crew that has saved us from the bullshit the 90's brought us.  I want to give this movie a 5 but as I have put back a fifth of tequila I will restrain just in case but seriously I swear on the corpses of Bob Clark, Anthony Perkins and Alfred Hitchcock(no disrespect intended) you must watch this film.


4.5/5

Tromeric

8213: Gacy House- Anthony Fankhauser

     A slow useless night at work was over and my brain was pondering what the fuck was I going to do?  Paranormal Activity 2 was opening and having a midnight screening and while I do want to watch it, it seemed like it was going to be crowded and I just wanted to kick my feet up, crack open a cold one(a beer, not a dead naked woman), and like Frankie just relax.  Well I opted for plan B so as I was looking through my pile of films to be watched and skipped over many films with tons of potential to become modern classics I saw Gacy house and knew right away.  My fate was sealed.
     Gacy House is what you expect. It is a found footage film done by the asylum where the ghost of John Wayne Gacy is out to trade in his little boys for a group of ghost hunters.
     It's like this, I can't tell you anything to sway you one way or the other.  Do you like found footage movies? You will probably like this.  Do you like serial killers?  You will probably like this.  Do you like the asylum?  You will probably like this.  Do you like all three of these?   You will blow a load all over the inside of your pants . 


3/5

Tromeric