Guts and Grog Tooned Up

Thursday, January 2, 2014

2013: The Films

Another year passed. Every year I think it is going to be a weak year, then at the end I start listing all my favorites and can't believe how many I have loved. You would think I would figure this out, but not so much. In fact you can probably go back over the last few years lists, and I have a similar intro to every one. The human brain is a funny thing, mine is funnier. 

My initial list was over fifty titles. Cutting out some of them was quite painful. It just comes with the territory. Twenty five is a ridiculous enough list, I wasn't going to make it any longer.

To get it out of the way. These are a favorites list, not arranged by quality, or importance. That is up to you to decide. I have never claimed to be a critic. I am a lover of celluloid, A drunk asshole with an addiction to all things movies. I spend insane hours in theaters, at home glued to one of my many screens, or with my face in a book, most likely about films. 

This is also, like past years, not exclusive to horror. I tend to mostly incorporate horror around here, but when it comes to the year end, I like to take on all of cinema.

I also have to mention, that there are still plenty of films I have yet to see that may have changed this list. Some have only been available at festivals I wasn't able to attend, while some have laziness/procrastination as the culprit. As much as I love the cinema, I work graveyard hours, so sometimes it is a challenge to make it to all of the films released. I do my best. I am mainly missing some of the big Oscar buzz films. I will make sure to see them by awards season, but for now. I bring you my year in film. 



25.Tie
Asylum is not for everyone.  I know the shark gimmick is getting out of hand, but occasionally something comes along that is just so badass that you have to drop all of your reservations and just let it fuck you, hard and good. That is what Sharknado did for me. I waited anxiously for it to hit prime time. It finally did, and Mortician Matt and I ate a special cookie and lost our shit. Tara Reid has become one of my favorite batshit insane people. Ever since she started hanging out with Uwe Boll, she has become pretty awesome. Did anyone see her appearance on Shark Week? Holy shit. Priceless. 

25. Tie

I had such a blast with the first Birdemic. Saw it multiple times, with and without Rifftrax. When I saw the first teaser for the sequel, I shit, not too much, but enough. Jump ahead and I was at Crypticon hustling some Grog merch, the cast of Birdemic was there showing part two. I unfortunately missed the screening at that time, but as soon as I got home I rented that shit on demand and lost all the shit. Sure, the first one was magic, while this was planned to be a shit fest. It was still a lot of fun and has brought me much enjoyment this last year.



24.
My mom is actually the one who brought this to my attention. She had heard about it on the radio. I initially was intrigued as I saw the cast, and how full of win it was. I then watched the trailer and knew I had to see it. Just a fun movie. They definitely did a great job making you beleive it was a musical of the fifties, but full of aliens, singing, dance, and horror. 





23.

I don't usually include short films on my list, but I was just too excited to have a new Van Bebber. The grittiness and gore are two of many reasons I have been a fan of this dude for a while. Word on the street is that it is becoming a full length. I hope so. Definitely has potential to become a classic, hell as a short it became one of my favorites of the year.

22.

Like most sane people, I have never really been a fan of Sandra Bullock. That however, was never going to stop me from seeing a movie that looked this beautiful. I opened up my mind and got lost in space with two of Hollywood's biggest stars.The feeling of emptiness and dread is pretty strong in this beast. I instantly was engulfed in the world created. Did it add anything having such superstars? Outside of getting noticed, probably not, but I promise you, it didn't hurt it. 

21.

Found footage has become as much of a dirty word as remake in the film world. Like anything, once something works, everyone and their inbred cousin tries to recreate it. Sure most turn out like shit, but it is inevitable that a few will slip though with their integrity and awesome intact. This is one of those. Set up as a live broadcast from 1987, this will have any nostalgic horror nerd feel some things in their pants that may confuse them. 

20.


Another found footage film makes it on my list. Who knew? This time Bobcat Goldthwait is behind the directors chair. I saw this with Bobcat in attendance. He of course was hilarious, and had some interesting shit to say, but mostly the movie spoke for itself. It was funny as hell, but managed to be tense and creepy when needed. Don't look into this too much, just check it when you get the chance. 

19.

The acting, the tension, the lack of music, the bond these friends have is definitely what made this movie work so well. Best if left unsure of much when entering a viewing, so that is all I will say. Definitely an achievement in the genre.

18.

I actually enjoy Michael Bay films, sure they are mostly explosion porn, but they entertain me. Sometimes that is all I want. Pain & Gain however, is a very different beast for Bay. Sure it has plenty of action, but it is mostly a dark comedy full of despicable characters. The cast is all around great, and The Rock's love of Styper kills me. Best use of Stryper in a movie since Night of the Creeps. 

17.

I really had no interest in seeing this. I am not usually a fan of the big budget possession/haunting films. I also have never really been a big fan of Saw, not saying James Wan hasn't made some solid films, just not my favorite by any means. One night I decided, why not? So I popped this bitch in and instantly was sucked into this world. Everyone in it plays their part so well. It is shot fucking beautiful, and is as close to "scary" as a film can be for me these days. Not perfection by any means, but goddamn is it a lot of fun that leaves you wanting more. 

16.

Kept hearing some pretty amazing things about this. Wasn't able to check it until it finally dropped on DVD. Blurring the lines between reality and drug infused insanity, this is one of the most unique films of the year. Like many great films, best to know very little beforehand. 



15.

Full of some of today's funniest comedians, as well as a slew of cameos. It has been a long time since I have laughed as hard as I did while watching this. Love the satirical take on everyone, and the surprises are endless. Definitely the best comedy in a long time. 



14.

I have always been a true crime junkie. I was very familiar with the case of Richard Kuklinski beforehand, but when I saw Michael Shannon was portraying him, I knew I had to seek this out. The entire cast is great, but Shannon steals the show. I was excited to see Winona Rider back in a starring role. It has been a minute.

13.

Another one that seems to be mostly disliked. I am not sure if people just wanted another Drive, but for this movie slayed me. So brutal and beautiful. More reminiscent of Valhalla Rising, which is my favorite of the Winding Refn films. 


12.

Malick is definitely one of my favorite directors. This one skipped my radar until I noticed it for rent. Maybe not quite as epic as Tree of Life, but a solid follow up. Looks like he has three more films in development. For a man that usually makes a movie every ten years, he is sure shitting them out. I will be here to roll around in them as long as he allows. 

11.

Chan-wook Park makes his English language debut with this nasty piece of beauty. Such a beautiful, but uncomfortable film. Excited to see where he goes next.

10.

I am not a hater of remakes. I am however leery most of the time. I actually haven't seen the original Mexican film. I always meant to, it just kept escaping me. Normally I wouldn't want to watch the remake without seeing the original, but I love Jim Mickle too much to not check this. As with his last couple films Stake Land, and Mulberry Street, this was amazing. So pretty, bleak, and disturbing. This guy is quickly becoming one of my favorite modern horror directors. 

9.

Brilliant home invasion flick. Brutal and unique for such an overused genre. Love Wingard these days. 

8.

Been wanting to check this for a while. I loved Kill List, even if it was just a cult version of A Serbian Film. Wasn't exactly sure what to expect, but in the end I laughed my ass off, and kind of hated myself all at the same time. That means it did its job. Looks like Wheatley already has another one out. Keep 'em coming sir. 

7.

Not really sure how or why this made it on my list, or how it made it so high. I like Snyder, but have never really been a huge Superman fan. I also am pretty picky on superhero films. Some are fun, but only a few have I loved over the years. Anyways, I put this on and was blown away. It looks like a Malick film, Superman actually does things instead of being a whiny goodie goodie. He causes so much ruckus and destruction, and it is definitely one of the most beautiful films of the year. 

6.

This popped on my radar after a bit of buzz on the net. I ordered a watch and instantly saw why everyone was raving. A zombie film, that has so little to do with zombies. Don't look into it, just get online and rent it. It is like five bucks on their site. Worth that five times over. 

5.

I have been in love with Mike Mendez's work since I first rented Real Killers off the shelf back in the day. While not insanely prolific, he has yet to disappoint me. On top of that, all of his films have been so different. This one is his take on a giant creature movie. It is fun from start to finish. While I am unashamedly a fan of shitty creature films, for example any Asylum film, this is not one of those. This is a great film that you actually enjoy, not just fun, but well made taboot. 

 4.



A solid follow up for the Soska sisters. I enjoyed Dead Hooker in a Trunk, but I loved this. Katharine Issabelle steals the show. Unique and full of great gore and body mods, as well as the sexiest Betty Boop looking lady ever. 

3.

I feel dirty. I never anticipated liking this as much as I ended up. 1980's Maniac is one of my all time favorites. So sleazy and amazing. Elijah Wood? Didn't see that coming. They did this right. They made it their own. Not trying to have Frodo try and recreate Spinell, but making the character completely his own. The music is so fucking good, the gore flows a plenty, and there is just the right amount of homage, without shoving it in you like a painal video. 

2.

Brandon Cronenberg is definitely his fathers son. You see that within seconds of this opening. With that said, he is still his own entity. I don't even know where to begin. This blew me out of the water. Such an interesting idea that is only outdone by its execution.



1. Tie

Korine splits people right down the middle. Many live by him, many detest him. This film seems to even separate Korine fans. Satirical, hilarious, and beautiful. The stunt casting worked this time, and Franco in the role of his lifetime. 

1. Tie

Zombie, another filmmaker who definitely splits people right down the middle. This is a very different film for him. Much more of a European feel than his normal trashy American portraits. The visuals in this are mind bending, and the entire cast kills it. You have already decided what you think, and that is fine, but for me this along with Spring Breakers were by far my favorite films of the year. I couldn't decide between the two, but knew they would both be at the top. The sheer amount of times I watched these two films would  battle the other twenty five on the list.



Another year has come and gone. Some amazing, some garbage, as to be expected. There were plenty I wish I had room for on this list. When I was cutting it down to twenty five(27 technically), it was painful. I mean I cut things like The Worlds End, and Under the Bed. Many, many more were great efforts this year, and of course the batch I have yet to see wasn't included in the running. Thanks for reading, and make sure to check out all the other year end list goodness we have for you.





Thanks for reading. 

- Tromeric

Sunday, December 29, 2013

Top 20 Albums Of 2013: From The Journal Of Tromeric

Music has been as much a part of my life as movies for as long as I can remember.  In fourth grade I bought a bunch of sweet tapes from a Walden Books. I know I got Scorpions "Virgin Killer" and Alice Cooper's "Raise your Fist and Yell." My mom got an angry phone call due to me playing Virgin Killer in class.  Squares. Anyways, I have always sought out as much music as I can devour, never specific to one genre, just as long as it sounded good in my ear holes. This year was full of awesome all over the board. Enough ramblings, I bring you.....my top twenty albums of 2013.


20. Gorguts- Colored Sands




A great return for one of Death Metal's best. Technical, brutal, and amazing. Just check this track and let your ears be pounded like that girl you knew in high school. 





19. Jungle Rot-  Terror Regime 





More Death Metal makes the list. Jungle Rot brings on the terror. I saw these guys with Decide last year. So heavy and awesome. Definitely made its rounds at the house of grog. 




18. Queens of the Stone Age- Like Clockwork


I have a love it or hate it relationship with these dudes. A couple of their albums have blown me away, the rest have bored me. Luckily, and surprisingly to be honest, I absolutely loved this one. A bit slower than some of their previous work, but it just hits right. 




17. Nails- Abandon All Life



So fast and in your face. The album caps out at seventeen minutes, but you will feel like you just had the most brutal, longest sexual experience of your life. Like an all day fuck fest, probably without your consent. Was hoping to see these guys with Godflesh back in October, but the tour was postponed. You need this in your life. 



16. Bloody Hammers- Spiritual Relics






The second album is fun from start to finish. I was a bit slow to get into these guys. I had heard a bit, and wasn't sure how I felt. I liked the music, but the vocals didn't sit right with me. Then this year I saw they were touring with Church of Misery, so I decided to pick up their sophomore record. To my surprise, I enjoyed it quite a bit. Definitely curious where they go on their next record. 



15. Nine Inch Nails- Hesitation Marks




By all accounts I am not sure why I am such a fan of Nine Inch Nails. Some of his earlier stuff isn't the stuff of love for me, but in his later career he has sold me. During his hiatus he did a couple of scores that were mind blowing. I mean he made a movie about Facebook exciting with his haunting score. That's talent.  This is his first album since 2008 as Nine Inch Nails, and overall it is a pretty solid record. A couple misses, but generally bad ass. Oh, and David Lynch directed a video for the first single. That alone sells me. 



14. Gwar- Battle Maximus 


Gwar is back at it. An obvious tribute to their fallen guitar player, as well as just a bad ass album. So many great singalongs and anthems. This record definitely fits nicely next to all the other Gwar albums. 

 
13. RVIVR- The Beauty Between




The first and only pop punk record to make the list. Not typically a genre of music I am a fan of, but as per most things, there are exceptions. I have been a fan of these guys since their first EP. Nice to finally have a full length to jam on. 




12. Cage- Kill the Architect


The first hip-hop record to make the list. I have been a fan of Cage for years now. This album is great, and dark, even for Cage.




11. ASG- Blood Drive


This is another band that I had heard a lot about, then when I listened to them was very underwhelmed. Then I was headed to see Weedeater and saw they were touring with them. At the show, my mind was changed. They straight killed it live. A lot heavier than I assumed based off what I had heard. Since the show, like Scarface, this has definitely been on repeat.




10. Rob-Maniac(OST)


When I first heard about this remake I was more than worried. Maniac is one of my all time favorite movies. How could Frodo encompass such brutality and badassary? I mean Spinell is a God. I sat down and popped this bitch in, expecting to be angry the whole time. Well, I was wrong. I will definitely admit it. This is by far one of the best remakes ever. They don't try and copy Spinell, this is definitely its own beast. Not only is the movie stellar, but the score and soundtrack are by far at the top of my favorites in recent years.




9. Autopsy- The Headless Ritual


Autopsy are gods. Their first full length in sixteen years proves that. I can't turn this beast off.



8. Church of Misery- Thy Kingdom Scum


Japanese doom all about serial killers. That is all I needed to hear back in the day to know that I must check out this band. Since then I have continued to love all of their shit. I saw them last year and they blew my fucking brains out. Scum is another hit for sure. 

 

7.  Secret Chiefs 3: Book Of Souls: Folio A


I was lucky enough to see these guys with Goblin earlier this year. Outside of Alan Howarth, John Carpenter,  or Fabio Frizzi, there are only two other bands I can think of(Zombi, Umberto) that could pull that off. This is the second part of the "Book of Truth" trilogy. Like all of their stuff, each song is its own entity, hell, even parts of each song. One of the highlights is a cover of Carpenter's Halloween. Planned chaos that gives me a huge ear boner. 



6. Coffins- The Fleshland



Coffins never cease to amaze me. This album is no exception. Se heavy, sludgy, and addicting. Japan's doom gods are back. 



5. Shadow of the Torturer- Dronestone


Sludgy, doomy, drony, awesome, and it's all about Jonestown. With members of Bell Witch, Aldebaran, Weregoat, and Splatterhouse you know this is going to punch you right in the dick, and you are going to ask for more. How often do you ask for more dick punches? Yeah, it's that awesome. 



4. David Lynch- The Big Dream

  
I have been obsessed with Lynch as a filmmaker as long as I can remember. I was curious when I heard about his foray into music. I was a huge fan of his first record, so I of course shot up to the record store on release day and bought that shit up. To my happiness I was just as in love with this as the first. 



 3. Umberto- Confrentations  


I was late to the game with these guys. Luckily I rectified that this year.  I picked up all their stuff and fell in love. This is definitely a must listen. 



2. Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds- Push the Sky Away


Oh, it is nice to be excited about a new Nick Cave record. It has been a Christ age since I felt more than mediocrity from the bad seeds. Luckily for me, this tears it up. Reminded me how much I love Nick Cave. Makes me even more excited for the show in July, especially as I haven't seen him since 94. 




When it came down to number one, I couldn't decide between two records. Two records that have been out the longest, and that I have been unable to last more than three days without listening. Two records that are worlds apart in style, but similar in feeling of dread and happiness, and the juxtaposition between the two.  Now lets get to it. The two number one records of the year are....


1. Sadistik- Flowers for my Father 

His first full length since "The Balancing Act" is one of the records of the decade. The smartest, most original, darkest, most beautiful hip-hop out there, and there is a Trash Humpers sample, and plenty of horror references on top of that. I could write an essay on this, but instead, I just urge you to pick yourself up a copy, spark up, and put the headphones on. 




1. Light Bearer- Silver Tongue  


Holy fucking shit. This album slays me every time. I can't start it, without finishing it. 




There you go. Sound off with your picks, tell me why I am wrong. It's all in good fun. Thanks for reading, and be on the lookout for the year end film round up hitting soon. 

-Tromeric  

Sunday, December 22, 2013

4 Must See Documentaries From 2013

Documentaries are a hard thing for me to judge. It is rare that I put one on that I am not interested in. Even with subjects that seem less than exciting, like say sushi, or Helvetica. Obviously some outshine others, but basically I am just a sucker for docs. I spend lots of my free time watching what South Park refers to as "Murder Porn." ID channel is a part of my everyday life. Instead of making a long list with all the documentaries I watched this year. I am just going to showcase four that fit in on the grog a bit more. All four of these I have watched numerous times, three of them I was lucky enough to see in the theater with directors in attendance. These are in no order. Just four that I feel any genre fan should check out.


Adjust Your Tracking






I felt like I was waiting for this forever. I saw the first teaser and then waited and waited. Finally it was out, I just had to wait for it to hit West Coast. It finally showed at Crypticon Seattle. I was a vendor there, so I knew I had to check it. Luckily I had some friends with me that offered to watched my table while it played. In fact, it was the only screening I was able to make it to this year. I loved it. It was able to show some history, while still showcasing the passion and excitement of the people involved in collecting.

A couple months later it came here to Portland. There was a VHS swap meet, and the directors were in attendance. Gabe Nye and I walked up to the Hollywood, stopping at the liquor store for some Bushmills first, of course. We hung out with some fellow VHS lovers, bought a metric fuck ton of tapes, met some new friends, saw some old ones, and watched the movie. Even though I had already seen it, it was nice to see it in a less busy feeling environment. Needless to say, I love this movie. It captures that feel you have digging though some random ass dudes basement, sifting through shit just to find that one holy grail. Check my full review here.




Crystal Lake Memories: The Complete History of Friday the 13th




A couple of years ago a documentary came out called "Never Sleep Again." It was all about Freddy, and the Elm Street legacy. It was four hours long, and incredibly in depth. Needless to say it made my shit rock hard. I have watched it numerous times. Interviews with so many of the people involved in all eight films. Since the birth of that, I have been dying for one on Jason. I love Freddy, but have always fancied myself a Jason fan more. Lucky for me the same team that brought the Elm Street beast to life, took on Friday. Being that there are twelve Friday films including the remake, and Freddy vs Jason, I knew this bitch was going to be long. I waited and waited, and finally got a screener. I popped it in and sat there for seven plus hours, granted I didn't realize it was that long until after it was over and I saw what time it was. Engaging from beginning to end is an understatement. The next day I watched it with the commentary, and was just as engulfed. I have now watched it a few times, and it never gets old. As stated previously, I am a sucker for docs, this is the reason why. If you can make a seven hour film about one franchise and not only make me enjoy it, but also watch it repeatedly, you have won at life. To read my full review click here.

Rewind This!





It has definitely been the year of the VHS. This was the second documentary on the subject I saw this year. Where AYT is more about the collecting of VHS, this is more a history lesson in the roots of VHS, as well as the VCR, and some other formats that didn't make it. Great interviews, clips and more. I was able to attend a screening of this as well, with the director in attendance. Definitely a well crafted doc that any fan of film or home video needs to see.




I Am Divine





Anyone that knows me, knows that outside of David Lynch there is no filmmaker that I respect, and love more than John Waters. I have watched everything he has ever been involved with, read everything he has ever written, and listened to or read any interview or commentary I can get my hands on. I have always been an admirer of Divine. The dirty, fuck you attitude he embraced. His performances got better and better, until he was taken a little to early.  I had been dying to see this when I finally saw that it was playing at the Q-doc film festival here in Portland. The deal got sweeter when I saw that the director as well as Mink Stole were going to be making appearances. I got my ticket, my copy of Female Trouble(for Mink to sign), and the day off, and then just waited. It finally came, and so did I. Such a great tribute to one of my favorite entertainers ever. It is so well crafted, and full of amazing interviews, that I see this being a monthly watch for me once it hits home video.









Well there you go. Four documentaries that I promise you should seek out. There were plenty of other great ones, but I figured I would stick to film docs for this particular list. If you haven't yet, make sure you check the 20 Greatest Moments from 2013, and keep your eye out for the remaining year in review lists headed your way.


- Tromeric