Guts and Grog

Monday, September 24, 2012

Hate Crime Trailer Drops

A couple of months ago, I had the chance to see a film that is just now starting to hit festivals. It was a movie that destroyed me. Well, the trailer has finally dropped before it hits Pollygrind and some other fests. If you are interested of what I thought click here. A shirt has also been released that will make you feel dirty(in a good way) the first time you wear it. Click the photo to order, right after you watch the trailer below.

Sunday, September 23, 2012

Kill List- Ben Wheatley

Kill List is a difficult film to categorize into a genre, as it has a myriad of elements from horror, drama and action, but overall I would categorize it as a very intense psychological horror movie. It follows an assassin turned family man by the name of Jay, who is pressured into taking a new assignment by his friend and cohort, Gal. As the nature of the task slowly unfolds throughout the movie, Jay becomes increasingly submerged into a trail of violence and confusion which lead up to a very memorable climax.
Does this sound familiar? Well, that's because it is, but it's a bit deceiving. Beyond the somewhat mundane premise, Kill List sets itself apart from the others quite easily. Wheatley maintains a very glum overtone where all of the relationships within the characters feel unsteady and ready to unravel at any moment. Kill List holds a calculated atmosphere that leaves you feeling uneasy from beginning to end as it slowly reveals details leading to some surprising conclusions. It's home to unexpected twists and turns, clever foreshadowing and bouts intense violence. I don't want to give away too much of this film as I think it's best served without much knowledge about it beforehand, but this is definitely one of the most surprisingly well-done films I've seen all year. Highly recommended.

4.5/5

Cody DeLarge

Friday, September 21, 2012

Grog Contest Number Three

As some may know I recently sold most of my DVD collection. It was not my first choice but I needed the cash and you do what you have to do. Well, I still have a few of the OOP or rare titles left. I was going to put them on Ebay but I thought it might be fun to give all my fellow horror lovers a chance to add them to their collection. Most of these discs go from forty to one hundred fifty a piece. Outside of that, they are all great films in my opinion. Because of the epicness of this prize I am going to have a few more rules than I usually do. Still simple. Just a few guidelines I guess.

1. Like the Guts and Grog FB or Twtter

2. In the comments section let me know your favorite article/list/review I have written. It can be anything listed on the site, that includes articles I have written on other sites which you can find in the "My shit elsewhere" section. You also need to leave your name and email address.

3. This is the big one. I will only pick a winner if there are at least fifty entries. So what I need from all of you is to share the hell out of this. Tell your friends, put it on all the social networking sites you can.

Well onto the goods.

Three Code Red titles: Madman, Rituals, and Nightmare.
Popcorn: OOP
Nekromantik: Barrel edition
Possession/Shock: Anchor Bay double feature
Murder Set Pieces- Directors cut: Very limited.

Going off Amazon prices that is around three hundred bucks worth of awesome. All you have to do is enter and share. Thanks for taking the time and good luck. If there are at least fifty entries by October 13th I will draw a lucky winner.

-Tromeric

Beyond The Black Rainbow- Panos Cosmatos

Here's the best description I can think of for this movie: If David Cronenberg directed his interpretation of Stanley Kubrick's 2001: A Space Odyssey with the 80's flare and soundtrack of Drive, then you would get Beyond the Black Rainbow.

That's really all you need to know. For some people that sentence will be exciting and for others it sounds terrible, and to be honest, it's kind of both depending on what you're looking for. Beyond the Black Rainbow is the film debut of director Panos Cosmatos and it's certainly interesting. It's vibrant, experimental, visually arresting, slow-paced, confusing, ambiguous and borderline pretentious at times, but it's definitely interesting. The story follows a girl named Elena who is held captive in a space-age 80's set called Arboria that looks directly out of a Stanley Kubrick film. Elena is heavily sedated and held hostage by a creepily monotone villain that is watching over her. Oh, and did I mention that Elena has a psychokinetic power to make your head explode a la Conenberg's Scanners? Well she does.

If this synopsis sounds confusing, it's because it is. It really doesn't shed much more light on the vague premise than that. Cosmos has chosen to take a style-over-substance approach to his film and I think it happens to work well. One spectacular scene in particular shows our villain downing a handful of pills while the wall behind him begins to melt like a bright red candle. It's scenes of visual imagination like this that make up for the lack of storytelling and characters in the story which makes it a pretty polarizing experience. If you enjoy films such as Enter the Void, 2001: A Space Odyssey, Moon, The Fountain, etc. that tend to shine visually more than logically then I would definitely recommend checking this one out. Being buzzed is highly encouraged.

3.5/5

Cody DeLarge

Thursday, September 20, 2012

V/H/S- Matt Bettinelli-Olpin/David Bruckner/Tyler Gillett/Justin Martinez/Glenn McQuaid/Joe Swanberg/Chad Villella/Ti West/Adam Wingard

V/H/S is a movie that I've been hearing about constantly lately and it's the newest installment in one of my favorite sub-genres of horror: the anthology. A group of indie horror directors (including the extremely promising Ti West) teamed up to create five short stories all based on the concept of found footage from a video camera, with a wraparound story of the same style to loosely tie them all together. Basically, a group of thieves are sent on a mission to obtain a VHS tape from a strangers house, only to find there is a corpse in the living room in front of a stack of static televisions. Naturally, the thieves decide to watch a few of the tapes, and thus, the short stories begin.

Personally, I've been burnt out on the found footage craze in horror for quite a while, but I found V/H/S to be a great balance between inventiveness and nostalgia, so I think it works in this case. All five of the stories vary somewhat in quality, but they all complement each other very well to make a great final product. One of my favorite things about this movie was how nostalgic it is. It clearly references classic 70's and 80's films, and the found footage dynamic reminded me of the golden era of seeing my favorite genre films on a fuzzy tape instead of the glossy high definition of today. It is also worth mentioning that the young unknown cast did an excellent job throughout the movie. Especially with this sub-genre, creating believable characters and conversations is essential and V/H/S clearly understood this. Like all found footage films, there is definitely some annoying filler to start all of the stories, but once they start they definitely kept my attention with eerie atmosphere and intense violence. If you want a fairly unique, edgy and entertaining new horror film, I think V/H/S would be a fine choice.

4/5

Cody DeLarge

Sunday, August 26, 2012

Happy Fucking Third Birthday To The Grog


I made this cake for a Halloween party at my old video store. Seemed fitting for the grog's third.

Three Years! That is fucking insane. I rarely do anything for three years. Stability is not a strong suit for me. When I looked at the calender and saw that the anniversary was here I figured I should do a little retrospective. I mean hell, three is well past the age of consent in Serbia so I guess the grog is all grown up.


B. Chainsawdomy and I looking super haggard along with Ken Foree a couple of months prior to the grog's birth.

I had only lived in Portland for about six months when I decided to get a place with Chainsawdomy. While the place I lived in at the time was awesome and had a full bar in the basement, it was lacking the horror lair esthetic I dreamed of. We wanted a place we could cover in horror decor, have horror on the screen round the clock, and just sit back and consume the grog. We found a place and it became a reality.

It wasn't long into our stay at the house of grog that we were up having an all night drunken horrorathon(not our first of course). I was telling Chainsawdomy about how back in the day we would have extended horror marathons and drunkenly review all the films. The problem was they never made it out into the world because we would plan on making a zine but would procrastinate. I always kept the books with plans of making the zine a reality. The problem was my place flooded and all were lost. Well, as I was telling him this he was like "we should do a blog" and I was like "what the fuck is a blog?" The only time I had heard of blogs was that part of Myspace where my friends wrote about a bunch of feelings that I didn't care about. He explained that it was a place we could review films and people may or may not read them. I was sold. Even if people didn't read at least I would have them all saved in the event of another flood. We jumped the fuck to it and started creating the grog. After a failed attempt at taking pictures of random stacks of DVDs for a logo we threw together a logo using the classic art from "Zombie Lake." We came up with the name and set that shit up like OJ.

The O.G.

Once the logo was done we spent all night setting up the account and coming up with ideas. I had no intention of this being anything. I hadn't written in over ten years. I had forgotten pretty much everything that I learned in school. Commas and periods meant nothing to me, and spelling was something that they made a boring documentary out of. I was just a drunk asshole that wanted to make obscure references and talk shit. I assumed like five of my friends would read it and that would be that. Right off the bat I drunkenly wrote up a review for "The Children." B. would tackle "The Last House on the Left(remake)." It was total shit but it was fun as hell to write. I just started picking up a bottle on my way home from work, grabbing a couple movies and going to town. I would just ramble and maybe make a point or two. Looking back on these is pretty hilarious. There are some fun ones but Jesus, they are bad. Most were about a paragraph long and weren't much more than a bad joke written into a long sentence. About a month in I wrote a review for one of my all time favorites "Spaced Invaders." This changed everything. Patrick Read Johnson thanked me for my review. I couldn't believe it. Someone besides the five people I told about the grog had read my shit, not just someone, but the mastermind behind "Spaced Invaders." I slowly started taking it a little more serious, not too much but at least I was aware people were reading.

Here are few examples of some of the early ones. While not well written at all they are kind of fun to look back on.

Bunnicula: The Vampire Rabbit

Antichrist

Things

Thankskilling

About a year after I started the grog I set out to get it more exposure. I set up a Facebook and a Twitter, and added it to the Horror Blogger Alliance. It didn't take long for me to meet up with some amazing people that have helped the grog in many ways. I did a three way "Garbage Pail Kids" review with Mr. Gable's Reality and Morbidemtia. This led to the creation of the Bad Netflix crew. The three of us along with some other bad asses started up a "MST3K" style drunken riffing night using the future. You can see a recap of the first event here.

I have met so many bad ass people that have supported and entertained all at the same time. This is just a small portion of the people and sites that have helped the grog in some way or another.

The grog has grown from just a drunken review site to include lists, articles, interviews, and contests. Lists such as Top 50 Horror Sequels, and Top 50 Xmas Films have been personal highlights for me. The Life and Death(Eventual) of a Horror Nerd was my first love letter to being a horror nerd with the 31 Days of Horror Nerd Indoctrination taking a more detailed look at it.

Kicking it with Pinhead. Click the pic for the article.

I returned to Crypticon Seattle this year and had the pleasure of writing up about my drunken week. I did an interview with Sadistik, as well as Bobby Canipe about his upcoming flick "Bloody Bones." I have done series overviews on classics such as the "Subspecies and Silent Night, Deadly Night"franchises. These are fun and challenging all at the same time. Both of these are only five films and even that had me drunk and insanely worn out. Just wait for the "Children of the Corn" or "Witchcraft" marathons. Jesus. I also spent Easter on a mission of blaspheme with my Easter a go-go marathon. It was full of drugs, alcohol, bunnies, and Jesus. In between all this we found time to have a couple of contests with truly unique prizes.


Will I be able to take these 13 shots while announcing the winner for the first contest?


We gave away a one of a kind print of this masterpiece from Critters and Gods.


For our second contest we got VonKlingele Kustoms to put together this beauty.

One thing that is amazing and sad all at the same time is how many people that have been a part of the grog live in such separate parts of the country. The small group of us that live close to each other have had some epic nights whether it's Gabe Nye the Science Guy and I actually being in the same room for the Bad Netflix night, a screening of a bad ass movie or a party to celebrate Halloween or the birth of X. No, not DMX. I mean the worlds most famous cryptozoological creature.

The official Guts and Grog pumpkin.

Getting ready for Halloween at the grog.

Pumpkins are done dude.

Getting lubed up.

Getting ready for Goregon fest 3.

B. Chainsawdomy playing with Dead Conspiracy at Goregon 3.

Getting ready for the grog's first sponsored show.

Sadistik at the grog's first sponsored show.

Xmas at the grog.

Christmas movie night at the Hollywood.

Peter Poison receiving a bad ass gift.

They should of got what I was having. Christmas at the local watering hole.

After a night out drinking for Xmas Gabe Nye and Steph Infection give me a cheers because we needed more.

The mellow Xmas eve.


A rare occurrence these days. Jacob VonKlingele, Gabe Nye, and I all in the same place.

While I do the majority of the writing here at the grog there are plenty of others that have given some of the finest contributions.

Gabe Nye the Science Guy has laid some serious science on everyone. Here are a few of his contributions to badassary.

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Detention- Joseph Kahn

Imagine if John Hughes and Wes Craven had one passionate night of lovemaking and Wes ended up pregnant. Jump ahead nine months and they are surprised with twins. After arguing about names such as Julius and Vincent they compromise on Greg Araki and Terrence Malick. Well, Terrence and Greg grow up and decide V.C. Andrews may have life figured out so they fall in love. Their relationship becomes stale so they go to a swingers club and meet up with a guy named Steve Pink and have a menage a trios full of bukkake and dutch rudders. Nine months later another kid is born and instead of finding out who the father is, all three decide to raise the child. They call this one Richard Kelly. This works to their advantage as MTV decides to film an updated version of "Three Men and a Baby" for a in name only drama using them as consultants. While filming the seventh season Richard Kelly is raped by one of the producers who impregnates him. He decides to keep it and that child grows up to be Joseph Kahn.

Until recently I was under the impression that it was going to be another self aware teen slasher horror comedy. I figured I would give it a watch but wasn't on the top of my list. While I enjoy a good slasher I wasn't expecting much. As time went on I kept reading about it and started to wonder if there was more to it. The trailer seemed pretty basic but rumblings across the internet gave me hope. When I read ten reviews and five people gave it a near perfect, while five others treated it like a Bennifer movie, well it made me more curious than that time a home school kid found his sisters vagina. I am always on the lookout for something different but in today's day and age it is nearly impossible. I was hoping for the best but with Dane Cook being listed on the front cover I was hesitant. Having someone I don't like in a movie is not a deal breaker but it does cause me to double bag it just in case.

Within thirty seconds I knew this was not your average flick. You are quickly introduced to characters who constantly break the third wall and let you know they are in on the joke. It is done in a fairly intelligent fashion and at a pace that would give Tink Tink a run(pun intended) for his trophy, assuming it wasn't taken away from him due to his legless advantage. The editing is quick and sharp while the references are spit out of the kids mouths quicker than an alcoholics semen. I am not exaggerating this, "Detention" has enough references that even Shawn Spencer would lose track. They don't just stick to horror references either. In the first ten minutes Chopin, Predator, Sigur Ros, Spike Lee, Beverly Hills 90210 and My So Called Life are a small chunk of what is name dropped. After you kind of get used to the style and editing the story becomes more insane than Margot Kidder. Everything from a bear time machine to a dude that cums the ooze from "You Can't Do That On Television" while sporting a TV for a hand.

The acting in this is pretty well executed, especially for being such bat shit crazy subject matter. Most of the young cast pull of being the irritating hipster douche bags they are aiming for while still remaining somewhat likable. Dane Cook, who usually makes me wanna pull my own dick off , split it in two and shove my ear holes with shredded dick meat, is surprisingly reserved and, dare I say funny.

"Detention" is not perfect. It gets ahead of itself at times and its over ambitious nature is not always realized. It is however, unique, fun, and entertaining. The jokes are as plentiful as the gore and the characters are as irritating as they are entertaining. I guess what I am trying to say is "Detention" is like that girl you're in love with even though she is kind of irritating and makes no sense.

3.5/5

-Tromeric

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Hate Crime- James Cullen Bressack

All I knew about this going in was that it was a found footage version of a home invasion film. Those two things alone left me with the assumption I was going to care about this film about as much as Dennis Rader cared about his victims. The last time I really loved a found footage film was "Cannibal Holocaust." Sure, "The Blair Witch Project" and "Paranormal Activity" were fun in the theater but I forgot about them as fast as Guy Pearce forgot who Joe Pantoliano was in "Memento." I am happy to report that like Mike Ness, I was wrong. Within seconds of "Hate Crime" starting I felt like coach was elbow deep inside me. He wasn't just molesting me, he went in and played with my insides. There was no foreplay, just pain and remorse.

The only plot description I will give you is the one I got and is ripped right off the IMDB page. " A family is held hostage by sadistic home intruders" Kind of vague right? Well, that is all you get. I will not give anything else as I want you to feel the despair and pain I felt. Dahmer didn't walk up to his boys and be like " Hey, I am going to kill you, rape your corpse and eat you while I watch the nightly news." He left it up to their imagination.

As I said earlier "Hate Crime" is a found footage film. Usually that means that the technical side is unimaginative and boring. Not in this case. I was more than impressed with how this film looked. Not only did it look good, it was believable. Unlike most of these movies it is in real time. The cuts were hidden and clever. I was constantly thinking of Carpenter or Hitchcock, now before I get a bunch of hate mail I am not comparing this to "Rope" or "Halloween." Just pointing out the editing style, which I assume Mr. Bressack was inspired by. The only real complaint I had technically was the sound design, and to be fair I watched it streaming online so that could of just been a byproduct of that.

Overall the acting in this blew my mind. Maggie Wagner and Tim Moran specifically were standouts for me. In a just world we would see them accepting an Academy Award at next years ceremony. There were a few moments with some of the cast where I was pulled out of the moment with less than excellent acting. I can't complain to much as these roles took more balls than Randy from "South Park" had in the "Medicinal Fried Chicken" episode.

"Hate Crime" is not a movie for most people. If you watch movies only to be entertained, stay as far away from this as that girl with the sore on her lip. If however, you like to be challenged mentally, emotionally, and morally this needs to be seen. Seven minutes into this I found myself searching the internet to make sure I had not been sent a snuff film. While not being perfect, I can attest this movie will be inside you for a good long while and there is not enough episodes of "Gummi Bears" to cleanse yourself of it, believe me I tried.

4/5

Tromeric

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Girls Gone Dead- Michael Hoffman Jr./Aaron T. Wells

     Beetlejuice, Ron Jeremy, Linnea Quigley, Jerry "The King" Lawler and a plethora of scantily clad ladies. I'm in.
     When I popped this bad boy in I figured I would most likely get ninety minutes of filler with five minutes of bitches and blood. I am happy to report that like Mike Ness, I was wrong. The film opens with our protagonist sitting in church and next thing you know there is a big breasted woman stripping down naked so the preacher can sacrifice her. Let me state for the record if that happened when I attended church services in my youth I may not have been so quick to denounce the worlds favorite dungeon master. Quick cut to let you know it's a dream than a pretty clever opening credits sequence outside of the horrible music that makes you feel like you are getting bumped into by every "Bro" at "Warped Tour." We now meet up with Rebecca in the real world and quickly find out her mom is an insane religious nut. The thing is Rebecca just wants to go to Daytona Beach to have some fun and take off her cloths. I mean the Crazy Girls(This films answer to Girls gone Wild)are gonna be there along with Ron Jeremy and Beetlejuice. She is waiting for her whore of a friend(God's words, not mine) and her douche nozzle ex shows up complete with a "S8N SUX" license plate and what I assume is unfortunately probably an actual christian rock band blaring on the stereo. They head off to Daytona anyways in search of all the necessitates in life such as drugs, alcohol, and sex. This of course where all the slashing and striping begins and the next ninety minutes are spent watching said acts and figuring out whodunnit?
     "Girls Gone Dead" will not cause any eruptions in the world of cinema. I am guessing the only eruption it will cause is in your pants but that is Okay. It is a fun slasher that would fit right in along the likes of the eighties classics such as "Slumber Party Massacre" or "Sorority House Massacre." The kills get a little repetitious but moments such as the fat basement dweller finally getting a blowjob only to have his severely intoxicated conquest get a hatchet wound on her head. I feel like I could go into a massive "who's on first" rampage right now but I will spare you. I will say while some of the gore is repetitious, it is overall pretty awesome. Very little CG and buckets of blood being spread everywhere like Flavor Flav's seed at the Source awards. It does suffer from extended length syndrome, and no, I am not making a penis joke. I feel like if they had cut out fifteen to twenty minutes it might flow a little better but that is nothing another shot can't fix. If you want something new check elsewhere but if you just want to crack open a bottle and enjoy a movie with the three B's(Bitches, boobies, and Beetlejuice) have I got a movie for you.

3/5

- Tromeric

Monday, July 23, 2012

Producers of DEAR GOD NO! Sink to an All-time Low

Atlanta – July 23rd, 2012 - Greedy noses rejoice! They survived bikers, waterfalls and Bigfoot! Will they survive your untamed thirst? The smut peddlers behind the cult drive-in throwback DEAR GOD NO! are proud to announce an exciting new contest offering the raincoat crowd a chance to win the bloody screen used panties of glamorous exploitation star Madeline Brumby. Stripped off her bare naked figure at an exotic undisclosed location and sealed for maximum freshness these undies promise all the heavenly taboos needed to fill the darkest of carnal desires. By purchasing any item off the Big World Pictures Ebay store from July 23rd to September 23rd, perverts will automatically be entered in a chance to own, wear and fondle a soiled piece of sin-sational cinematic history.

“I’m clean but theses desirable panties are very dirty. Unashamed and raw they need more than a delicate rinse. It’s going to take a really big washer to handle this filth”, says young Madeline.

Winner of multiple “Best Exploitation Film” and “Audience Favorite” awards, DEAR GOD NO! follows outlaw motorcycle gang The Impalers through a murder spree that ends in a home invasion gone terribly wrong when they attack two graduate students, a disgraced Anthropologist and his teenage daughter played by America’s starlet Madeline Brumby. A demonic creature in the woods, a deadly secret in the basement, rivers of blood and abundant nudity add to the surprises that have been thrilling genre fans across North America.

“We originally wanted to present the film in Odorama so I’m touched that one lucky sinner will have an opportunity to explore the lowest depths of human sensuality in this new form of explicit audience to screen interaction”, says director James Bickert.

A sequel to Dear God No! titled Frankenstein Created Bikers is currently in preproduction. The lonely, deprived, thrill-hungry and curious can enter this ribald contest at http://myworld.ebay.com/bigworld2012/ Every entry will receive a bumper sticker, a hand signed clean bill of health from Dr. Marco and a pleasurable voodoo curse.

Contest rules: Must be 18 years of age to enter. Employees of Big World Pictures are not eligible. Contest is not associated with Ebay. This collectible piece of screen used memorabilia is stained with stage blood and comes with a certificate of authenticity. Garment complies with United States health and postal regulations. For additional film details, visit www.deargodnomovie.com.

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Sadistik on Music, Film and Grog

Sadistik is an Independent hip-hop artist from Seattle, WA who also happens to be a big fan of horror and film in general. This shows through his music and some of his videos. I was able to sit down with him with my bottle of Evan in hand and pick his brain over everything from his upcoming album to the current state of horror cinema.

Tromeric: Fulci or Argento?

Sadistik: Argento!

Tromeric: Your reasons?

Sadistik: Argento is one of my favorite directors ever. He's probably the director I revisit the most and I still never get tired of his films. I love Fulci too, but I think budget limitations marred some of his movies. When he had a decent budget he was great.

Tromeric: Freddy or Jason?

Sadistik: Jason. Freddy Krueger got a little too campy later in the series for me. It's still fun, but I like how Jason always gets right down to business.

Tromeric: Leprechaun or Chucky?

Sadistik: Leprechaun, hands down. I've seen the Leprechaun movies more times than I'd care to admit. The first Leprechaun is the zenith of Jennifer Aniston's career as far as I'm concerned.

Tromeric: There is nothing wrong with that. If I made it known how many times I had seen the Critters series I would lose a lot of friends.

Sadistik: Critters 3 is the zenith of Leonardo DiCaprio's career too.

Tromeric: Very true. While we are on this subject what would your favorite "So bad it's good" film be?

Sadistik: Oh man, that's a tough question. Troll 2 is the immediate favorite. I think Chopping Mall and Zombie Holocaust should be mentioned too, though.

Tromeric: All excellent. Alright, lets move on as I could do this all day. You are in the select few lucky enough to have seen the grog(IE me) in action in full grog motion. Care to share any stories that I may not be quick to share with the world?

Sadistik: I think the time I came to your party just in time to catch you beer-bong a full fifth of tequila straight and trip on your fence to sprawl out on your yard is a pretty good anecdote of how The Grog gets down.

Tromeric: I vaguely remember that. Since everyone knows I prefer to watch my films with a bottle in hand I was wondering your take. Do you like watching films sober or intoxicated? Or does it depend on the film?

Sadistik: I think it depends on the film for me. When I've got whiskey in my system I tend to watch older schlock movies instead of ones I take more seriously.

Tromeric: So I know you have a new album in the works. Are you able to tell us when we can expect that?

Sadistik: I do have a new album coming out called "Flowers for My Father." I can't give an exact release date yet, but it's just about finished and should be available relatively soon. I'm really excited to finally show people what I've been working on for so long.

Tromeric: When you're writing are you inspired by film or music more? Or is it not really from any of that?

Sadistik: I definitely think it's both. Well, everything actually: books, experiences, etc. Obviously music I enjoy would be a more direct and literal influence on my own music, but my passion for movies definitely finds its way into my music constantly. I make a lot of hidden allusions to my favorite movies. I don't know how many people will catch them but I still like to do it. I think it shows in my videos as well. That video I wrote and directed called "Higher Brain" is largely influenced by Gaspar Noe and Dario Argento, for example.

Tromeric: When I look at the three albums you have put out they are very different. I mean of course there are similarities but they are almost their own entity. Is "Flowers for my Father" gonna kinda fit into any of those or is it going to be off on its own as well?

Sadistik: That's a good question. Flowers for My Father is basically the true follow up to my first record "The Balancing Act." The last two albums I released were collaborative efforts (with Kid Called Computer and Kristoff Krane, respectively), but this one is completely me. I had a very distinct idea of how I wanted the production on this one and what I wanted everything to sound like. I think it's a more evolved version of what I've shown in the past.

Tromeric: I know a lot has to be hush hush, but is there anything you can let us know on what we can expect? Themes/ Guests? If not fully understandable.

Sadistik: Well, the production is mainly by Blue Sky Black Death, Eric G. from 9th Wonder's label, and Kno from CunninLynguists. I also have a song with Cage and CunninLynguists as well. That's all I can really announce right now.

Tromeric: Nothing wrong with just giving a little taste. I know many including myself are very excited for this.

Sadistik: Thanks man. I'll try not to disappoint.

Tromeric: Well I will finish up with a couple more questions than I need to draw a winner for this contest I am running.

Sadistik: Sounds good.

Tromeric: Is there any hope for new horror films to break barriers or change cinema? I don't mean just shock I mean overall or is everything just being recycled?

Sadistik: Man, that's a tough question. I don't think anybody is really going to reinvent the genre, but I think there's a lot of innovation going on right now and that will continue to go on. I think this new wave of French horror is a more intense version of some things that have already been done. I also think that some films are blurring genre boundaries a little bit more. Recent movies like Enter the Void, Kill List, etc. aren't really classifiable as horror but they have horror elements to them. I also like how a new trend is to throwback classic periods of horror like grindhouse and exploitation films. I think this newer wave of the genre is getting smarter and smarter.

Tromeric: Alright I will end with two questions. Off the top of your head Top Five Films and Top Five Musicians? Go!

Sadistik: Ah, shit. Off the top (in no order): A Clockwork Orange, Oldboy, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Eraserhead, and Rosemary's Baby. Musicians: Radiohead, Eyedea & Abilities, Nine Inch Nails, Cage and Sage Francis.

Tromeric: Criterion just announced "Rosemary's Baby" and I have a feeling they are doing "Eraserhead" as it just showed up on their Hulu channel.

Sadistik: I know! I'm so excited for Rosemary's Baby. I just grabbed Polanski's Cul De Sac the other day.

Sadistik: I'm changing my answer to: Looney Tunes Movie, Psycho remake, Mac and Me and Dunston Checks In.

Tromeric: Hahahaha! Well thanks a lot for doing this man.

Sadistik: For sure, thanks for having me.

Make sure to hit up his page and Facebook to keep informed on all the happenings going on with tours and record releases. I would also like to take this time to announce that Sadistik will soon be a featured contributor here at the grog under the moniker "Cody DeLarge." If you haven't had a chance to check the video for "Higher Brain" which he wrote and directed I have included it for your viewing pleasure.

- Tromeric

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Jaws 3-D (1983)

Jaws 3-D (1983)

Starring: Dennis Quaid, Bess Armstrong, Simon MacCorkindale

Writers: Richard Matheson, Carl Gottlieb, Guerdon Trueblood, Michael Kane

Director: Joe Alves

Thanks so much for Tromeric having me over here to tackle a guest review. A collaboration was long overdue.

Synopsis:

The Brody brothers have another shark problem, this time at SeaWorld. That Amity Island shit got old.

Dear Jaws 3-D:

Talk about some more behind the scenes Jaws shenanigans... this flick went through all kinds of shit before being filmed. The producers of the first two Jaws movies wanted to go the spoof route, using the title Jaws 3, People 0 --with National Lampoons writers John Hughes and Todd Carroll scripting and Joe Dante in mind as a director. Let me just say right now that said pitched title for the spoof was fucking genius, and they should have stuck with that name anyhow. Goddamn. Anyway, Uni wasn't having any of this shit; no spoof movies. So, Murray Lerner was given a copy of the first Jaws 3 script and declined, and the job eventually went to Joe Alves, who served as a production designer on the first two Jaws films -- as well as being second unit director on Jaws 2. Like the first two "da dum da dum da dum da dum" movies, this one had many different writers and re-writes. Richard Matheson even had his epic hands in it. Eventually, most of his ideas were put on the back burner, so Guerdon Trueblood gets the story credit while Carl Gottlieb --who revised the first two films-- and Matheson got the script credits.

Lemme go ahead and talk about the shark here, too. Believe it or not, at one point the idea was to have Bruce 2 from Jaws 2 survive and I guess come after Mike Brody or some shit. Well, that got kicked to the curb. There's actually 2 sharks in Jaws 3-D, a mother and child. The child is kind of a pussy, so the mother is who's important. Bitch gets pissed. 35 feet of fucking nightmares, swimming backwards, headbutting underwater walkways, roaring... that's right, ROARING. This is one not to be fucked with. Anyway....

Jaws 3 is knee deep in the 80s resurgence of the 3-D gimmick, like Friday the 13th III and Amityville 3-D. The quality of 3 dimensional FX from this era is highly questionable. Okay, most of it is pretty goddamn bad, but I love it anyway. Maybe I just love looking like a douche in my living room with those crazy glasses on, convincing myself that shit really does look like it's popping out of the screen. I dunno what it is, but I dig it.

Jaws 3-D moments that are supposed to be punching you in the fucking face:

Gotta admit, I am a fan of this title screen.

It's almost like you can touch these fuckers! Feed them! They're hungry!

An arm.

3-D shark tranquilizer that looks like pee-pee.

Brody's harpoon skills. I can't help but think of Friday III when I see this.

Killer whale coming out of the water all up in your face like "What's up!?" 'n shit.

Best moment in the movie. Hands down. If I get stranded on an island with only one flick, guess what? I don't need one entire flick... just give me this shit.

Jaws' jaws. Look out!!!

Cam work is of course not up to par with the first film. Hell, it can't even touch the second film. I probably should have mentioned this earlier, but I forgot, so let me get to it now. Jaws 3-D is so fucking good because it's so fucking bad. There, moving on. The shark creeping segments are still pretty good and there's a few fairly badass chases. This film definitely amps up the "skier being pursued by a shark" element, though, it does lack as far as anything actually happening to the skiers once they are in danger. But we'll get to that later. Brody has an awesomely manic POV golf cart sequence, and that may be the highlight in this department. Either that or the underwater shots of the 35 foot bitch, barely visible in the murky blue waters. Gotta say, the darkness definitely adds some cool atmosphere.

Cool shots:

Here's one of the scenes I am talking about. Skiers in peril, yet nothing fucking happens to them. Kinda disappointing because it looks so cool... but hey, at least it's a whole helluva lot of ass.

Creeper moment!

Mike Brody's all grown up and looking like Dennis Quaid... because he motha fuckin' is. Brody's not the whiny little wimp he was the second go around; he works for SeaWorld designing shit, smokes cigs, drinks beer, acts like a stud around his woman, and is willing to fuck a shark up! Quaid is pretty entertaining in the role, despite being embarrassed of it or not. Bess Armstrong plays Kathryn, Mike Brody's squeeze, and senior marine biologist of the park. Armstrong kinda looks like Frances McDormand, if Frances McDormand was hotter and not a very good actress. Nevertheless, Kathryn is a cute character and the duo of Quaid and Armstrong gel pretty well together. John Putch is little Sean Brody in this flick, also all grown up and now scared shitless of going in the water. He comes down from Colarado to visit his big bro. Putch is annoying as shit. Actually, it's just the character in general. It's like the Brody brothers traded places in the "who's the pussy?" department. Louis Gossett Jr. portrays SeaWorld park manager Calvin Bouchard, a money hungry bag of fuck. To be honest, there's a few times where Bouchard doesn't come off like that bad of a man, but he always relinquishes those good thoughts with assholism. Gossett pretty much nails the correct feel- there's one scene in particular where he gets on an intercom, calm as ever, instructing people that they need to safely exit the underwater portion of the park. Meanwhile, there's a 35 foot pissed off shark about to crash the festivities. Lastly...

Lea Thompson, making her screen debut as Kelly, a water skier at the park, who ends up getting the hots for Sean Brody. Thompson is so insanely hot in this flick, parading around half the time in just a bikini and sometimes a cowboy hat. So, before falling for her son Marty McFly and before snooping through Howard the Duck's wallet finding a duckie condom, she was here.... looking fuckin' smokin'.

Bonus characters who I like that no one else probably gives a squirt of piss about:

Overman. Big fuckin' hunk of love.

This girl. She's a hot mess, but crazy adorable.

Oscar. Poor dude should have had more screen time.

Fitzroyce (Manimal) and Jack. Badass mudder fuckers right dere. Definitely some bromance going on, too.

This tour guide. Actually, just her tits. Those things were begging for a cameo... seriously.

SFX... the shark footage isn't as plentiful here. There's only a scant few times you see this fucker coming out of the water, not nearly as much as you see Bruce 1 & 2. And as mentioned earlier, a lot of the underwater shots of the shark are pretty dark, but it does look menacing. The visual FX have a big time Starcrash vibe, and if you are like me, you'll consider that a plus. As far as gore, you get a half eaten dude with some arm bone gone, underwater life coming out of his mouth 'n shit. A pretty nasty lookin' leg bite, and... that's about the size of it.

Alan Parker gets his first feature cherry popped here by composing and conducting the score. The music of Jaws 3 has a real adventurous sound, with a hint deadliness. For all the water-ski scenes, the tunes are dashing and daring like the fucking Gummi Bears. And, of course, with this being a Jaws film you do get the "da dum da dum da dum da dum" shit, but in less copious amounts as the first two films. Rightfully so, this is an entirely different feeling kind of movie. Overall, not some bad orchestrated jams by Parker. He went on to do the music for What's Eating Gilbert Grape and American Gothic.

Some Favorite Moments:

You know you have greatness when there's a dancing fish head 1 fucking minute into the movie.

Brody's badass borderline psychotic rush through the park.

Brody's badass boat parking skills.

I'm not sure what the fuck is going on here, or why it would be going on at SeaWorld. Square dancing around someone in a pig outfit?

Epic Faces:

Brody's almost barf face.

Kathryn's "That's a big fucking bite holy shit" face.

A bunch of "It's comin' right for us!" faces.

Get out some beer or get out a bottle or light up a joint or all of the above. Sit down and enjoy Jaws 3-D for the incoherent blast of cheese that it is.

~THE END~

-Brobocop

Guts and Grog Tooned Up