Guts and Grog Tooned Up

Friday, September 2, 2011

Top 50 Horror Sequels: The Complete Dossier

This is for anyone that didn't want to take the time to check all the lists separately. I may of digitally changed some things. That's a lie. I am just double dipping.

50. Final Destination 2- David R. Ellis

    Before he made Shark Night 3D or Snakes on a Plane David R. Ellis took Final Destination to places that it was kind of lacking in the first. I am talking about the deaths that Like Dio made you stand up and shout this time. The Final Destination movies are pretty much the same every time and overall pretty god damn basic. What matters are the deaths and this is the one to go to. I will say that part 5 did a pretty god job in this category and almost made the list. The deaths were fun and the end made me feel like Lethal Weapon 4. I hope they are smart enough to end it there as it left the overall mediocre series on a super positive note.

49. Psycho IV- The Beginning- Mick Garris

     The King of King shows us why Norman likes dressing in drag. Made for TV and it show's but always good for a watch. Surprisingly effective prequel.

48. Demonic Toys 2- William Butler

     Made eighteen years after the original and still maintains the feel. Baby Oopsie Daisy still shits the pants. What else do you need?

47. Return of the Living Dead Part II- Ken Weiderhorn

     Takes the same approach as Evil Dead 2. Essentially the same film remade in a more humorous tone.  Some pretty hilarious moments in this.

46. Creepshow 2- Michael Gornick

     Like most of the films on this list while not being as good as the first I enjoy watching this one more. I have more nostalgia for this than a alter boy does for priest wang. I enjoy all three but The Raft is the highlight.

45. Bride of Chucky- Ronny Yu

     Doll Sex and John Ritter. Have a super amazing memory of watching this in a trailer while eating a frozen pizza. It has stuck with me for years.

44. Friday the 13th part VI: Jason Lives- Tom McLoughlin

     It's no surprise that a few Friday sequels would end up here as there are about a butt load of them.  Overall I think that Friday has the best percentage of sequels good to bad but for now I will stick to this one.  The kills are fun, Alice Cooper wrote a song for it and a cop gets folded in half.

43. Halloween II- Rick Rosenthal

     While not being a perfect film Halloween two picks up right where one left off which just makes it a fun follow up.

42. Nekromantik 2- Jorg Buttgeriet

     I feel guilty having this so low on the list as I love the first one and the gore and characters in this are fanfuckingtastic. It does however suffer from the curse of the long running time. If he had cut down the time even twenty five minutes I think it would hold up a lot better. I still love it, don't get me wrong.

41. Silent Night Deadly Night Part 2- Lee Harry

     OK, I know 85% of this is flashbacks from part one but it has one thing that almost put it in the top ten until I decided to show some restrain. Garbage Day. Yeah garbage day is one of the greatest moments in film period.

40. Slumber Party Massacre II- Deborah Brock

     Is that a drill on that guitar? Did they try and make a David Lynch film out of a Slumber Party Massacre movie? Love it.

39. Army of Darkness- Sam Raimi

     I know many people will not understand how this is so low on the list. I enjoy the shit out of this but it just doesn't compare to the first two at all for me. It will always be an integral part of my childhood but I love puppets more.

38. Puppet Master II- Dave Allen

    Very few series remind me of my childhood more than Puppet Master. I love all of them. Well aside from vs Demonic Toys but I don't count that, that's like claiming a rape as loosing your virginity. Puppet Master two is great for a couple of reasons. The first is it's basically Ghost Hunters vs Puppet Master and second is the introduction of Torch. Torch is a bad ass and he will make you look like Travis Barker.

37. Gingerdead Man 3: Saturday Night Cleaver- William Butler/Silvia St. Croix

     The newest Gingerdead Man film but hopefully not the last. This pissed off cookie takes on a time travel, a roller boogie and more references than I make, well maybe not that bad.

36. Waxwork II: Lost in Time- Anthony Hickox

     Waxwork two is basically Waxwork with Bruce Campbell and an amazing rap video over the credits.

35. Sleepaway Camp 3: Teenage Wasteland- Michael A. Simpson

     Amazing soundtrack, great cast and amazing kills. The Sleepaway Camp sequels took a great movie and changed the whole feel and it worked.

34. Pumkinhead II: Blood Wings- Jeff Burr

        Jeff Burr, king of the sequels takes a stab at one of my favorite characters. While not nearly as powerful as the original this is a fun ride kind of like your mom.   Oh, did  I mention Punkey Brewster and Linnea Quigley?

33. Piranha II: The Spawning- James Cameron

     Turns out James Cameron was even an asshole back then. His movies were better and had less blue people in  them. Did mention flying fish?

32.Seed of Chucky- Don Mancini

     The final installment of the Child's Play franchise is just a fun fucking film. Some may even call it a blast...of semen to your face. Sure it doesn't take itself serious at all, but I am OK with that. Kills are so fun and John Waters makes everything better.

31. Return of Swamp Thing- Jim Wynorski

In our generation we have been blessed with some great directors that have changed cinema. David Lynch, Stanley Kubrick, Alfred Hitchcock  and the genius behind such classics as Chopping Mall, Deathstalker II and this gem. Swamp thing is such a great character. Craven pulled off a great film with the first one and I grew up on the TV show and the cartoon. Wynorski just takes it to new levels of awesome. Heather Locklear is not bad eye candy either.

30. Night of the Demons 2- Brian Trenchard-Smith

     Night of the Demons was one of my favorite 80's party, gooey, possession films ever. Brian Trenchard-Smith took a break from directing bad ass ozsploitation films for this follow up that holds up pretty god damn well.

29. Pet Semetary Two-  Mary Lambert

      This movie gets a bad rap in my opinion. The first Pet Semetary is good but not perfect by any means. I love it and it is  a decent representation of the novel, however for just plain old fun I prefer this.  I saw this as a double feature with Hellraiser 3 that is another sequel that I think is looked at in the wrong light.  Pet Semetary 2 is dark, funny and gory. You don't have to compare it to its more serious counterpart.  Sit back and enjoy Eddie Furlong fucking shit up.

28. Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers- Dwight H. Little

      The second Halloween is a nice follow up to the original as it takes place directly after the first one. It's like an extension. Growing up I hated part three with that lack of Michael Myers. I grew to change my mind, as long as I looked at it as a different film it was great. I left it off the list because it has nothing to do with the franchise. Halloween 4 is the first sequel in my opinion. It took the original(which is far superior, don't get me wrong) and moved it ahead ten years and you got to see a lot of what made Michael tick. Sure this is where the story starts to get insane but fuck it, don't take everything so serious. It's a fun ride. You may want to double bag it(by that I mean get shitty) but the characters are fun and the kills are rad.


27. Jack Frost 2: Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snoman

     Jack frost raped Shannon Elizabeth is the first one. That was rad. He now returns to a tropical island to say some of the best one liners ever and not melt somehow. If you don't want to watch a killer snowman on a tropical island kill bitches you should reevaluate yourself. 

26. Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan- Rob Hedden

     This is one of the most hated sequels in the world. I don't get it. Sure it should be called Jason takes a boat as Jason is in Manhattan about as long as it takes a priest to cum when he enters little Timmy's butt hole. I can forgive that just like the pope forgives rape.  Jason knocks a dudes head off. There is a hot asian chick, a chick who loves to metal out and get her face slammed by here flying V and who can forget the hot rock being shoved through a dude. The uncle looks like Robert Stack and Jason looks like Corky from life goes on after a chemical burn.

25. Psycho II- Richard Franklin

     This came out so long after the original I would of never guessed it was worth a shit. Psycho is one of the best movies ever made period. This will never compare, it is however a intriguing character study and super entertaining film.

24. Gremlins 2: The New Batch- Joe Dante

     One of the rare examples where I like the sequel more than the original. I love the first one don't get me wrong but two takes everything great about the first one and rapes it for nine minutes. The new Gremlins are so bad ass. The gargoyle and the scientist rule my balls. John Glover and the twins from Eerie Indiana are great and how can you argue with Christopher Lee.

23. The Exorcist III- William Peter Blatty

     Exorcist two is horse shit. They got the writer of the first one to direct this and I almost like it better. The first may be a better film but I love this. Super creepy and awesome and the only Exorcist sequel not made out of shit.

22. Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare- Rachel Talalay

     Here is another of the most hated sequels out there. I don't get it. Sure it is kind of ridiculous and lost the feel of the first one. The thing is, so did two, three, four and five.  You don't have to take everything so serious. This is fun and full of references from the original. You have a Johnny Depp cameo. Alice Cooper is in it, not to mention Rosanne and Tom Arnold. I saw this in the theater in 3D and loved it and still do. It is my third favorite Freddy film for sure.

21. Critters 2: The Main Course- Mick Garris

     The king of King returns for a second time on the list with Critters 2. I love Critters but it was not a perfect film by any means. Two came along and took everything good about the first one mixed in a million other amazing things like critter ball and Playboy crite hunter to make a fun, amazing film.

20. The Gingerdead Man 2: The Passion of the Crust- Silvia St. Croix

     I was a little skeptical of this at first when I saw that Gary Busey wasn't doing the voice anymore. I loved the first one but overall it was by no means classic. The Buse was the highlight for sure. I of course still pre ordered it as it was a Gingerdead Man movie and also a riff on Passion of the Christ to boot. Hell Yeah I want to see a cookie get crucified. It takes place on the set of a movie that might as well be the next Full Moon film and the Gingerdead Man fucks shit up. Oh did I mention a cookie gets crucified?

19. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre part 2- Tobe Hooper

     Texas Chainsaw is one of my all time favorite movies. I watched it when I was seven years old and it scarred the shit out of me, like running down my leg kinda shit. This came ten years later and is a completely different kind of movie. When I was younger that bothered me but I grew into this. I mean if he had tried to make the same movie again it wouldn't of worked. TCM 2 set the tone for a whole slew of other films and is a fun ride. Dennis Hopper having  a chainsaw fight with Leatherface as if they were in a Kurosawa film made my shit harder than taking meth from a Juggalo. Have you tried that? Its not easy. Some may even say it would be a miracle to pull off. See what I did there?

18. Leatherface: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre III- Jeff Burr

     OK. I know I am one of very few that prefers this to part two. I just love this film. Jeff Burr, king of the sequels returns to the list with this and I have always loved it.  Sure its nothing when you compare it to the original but that's not what I am doing here. Viggo is in this and he will fuck your shit up real good. Long before Cronenberg got a boner for him he was part of the family that slays together. This movie is just fun as fuck. Burr has always talked about the studio bending him over so I can only imagine the badassary that this would be if he had final cut. The kills are fun and the music. Wow the music. I have been in love with this soundtrack since it came out. Death Angel, Obsession, Wasted Youth and of course Laaz Rockit with the title track. I have given myself so many bangovers listening to that shit.

17. Bride of Re-Animator- Brian Yuzna

     So many bad ass new random creations in this one. From the man that co-wrote Honey I Shrunk the Kids and produced the original, Brian Yuzna.  See more shenanigans from Herbert West and love the gore. I do.

16. Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth- Anthony Hickox

      One of the most hated sequels on my list. I know I am gonna get some shit for this but I love this movie. Sure it holds nothing the original, the thing is I am OK with that. This is kinda ridiculous I mean a cenobite that shoots Cd's.  The reason I forgive this. This movie is fucking fun. Its a blast. A blast to your moms face even. I saw this with Pet Semetary 2 as a double feature at the discount theater when I was dick high and loved every second. Lemmy does a badass song for it and the effects are awesome. Pinhead has some his best moments from the entire franchise, granted he only has good moments in the first three. Talk all the shit you want but Hellraiser 3, as the great poets The Pretenders once sang "I'll stand by you."

15. Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter- Joseph Zito

     He made The Prowler so of course his Friday is gonna be the best.  I could go on for hours on why this movie is amazing. I won't though. I will list a few reasons. The kills, Crispin Glover, Cory Feldman, Crispin dancing, Tom Savini returns, Crispin Glover.

14. Blood Feast 2:All U can Eat- Herschell Gordon Lewis

     HG Lewis started the gore film with Blood Feast so why not twenty five years later make a sequel?  I was so excited for this. I got home and watched it and was like wow! That was just Blood Feast made twenty five years later. The thing is I was happy about it.

13. Basket Case 2- Frank Henenlotter

     Basket Case was one of the great eighties NY sleaze movies and with the sequel he took it and made it better. Its not as gritty or dirty as the first but you get a whole batch of freaks that sing and dance and I love every second of it. Henenlotter is easily one of my favorite directors and this is a  prime example why.

12. Sleepaway Camp II: Unhappy Campers- Michael A. Simpson

     Sleepaway Camp is awesome. Overall it is just your basic slasher flick with some brooootal kills and assholeish characters. What sets it aside is its twist ending that makes M. Night hate himself as much as I do.  Unhappy Campers came along and said fuck it, lets have some mother fucking fun.  This film sports some of the best kills in a slasher ever. Period. Great metal soundtrack and random famous peoples siblings. Oh and the happy camper song gets stuck in my head more than "Send me and Angel" by Real Life.

11. Puppet Master III: Toulon's Revenge- David DeCoteau

     I love everything about the Puppet Master movies. I grew up waiting for the next one. They were like my Land Before Time and there were almost as many.  This gives you a little backstory and is fun from start to finish. You see where Blade was originated from and did I mention their are Nazi's? Yeah. Puppets killing Nazi's is pretty god damn epic.

10. Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn- Sam Raimi

     There are three kinds of people, people that like Evil Dead the best, people that prefer Evil Dead 2 or people that live by Army of Darkness. I am in the first category but this isn't a top first film in  a series list.  I do however still love Evil Dead 2. He took the first one changed a bit and wrote the three stooges into it.  Classic by all means so here it is at number 10.

9. Citizen Toxie: The Toxic Avenger IV- Lloyd Kaufman

     Troma is my childhood. I first saw their stuff watching USA Up All Night and continued to seek it out on VHS from there. I watched the original Toxic Avenger on a weekly basis. Two and three had their moments but I never felt strongly about them.  Then in the early part of the DVD golden age this bad boy showed up. I had seen the trailer so many times on Terror Firmer and when I got home and put it in. Wow.  So tasteless yet socially aware. It made me forget about the first two sequels. This movie also holds another place in my heart as the first time I met Lloyd Kaufman I had him sign my DVD and he coined my name. Tromeric. It made sense. Well Lloyd. Looks like you created another monster.

8. The Devil's Rejects- Rob Zombie

I had been following House of 1000 Corpses for years waiting for it to come out. I hadn't really been a fan of Rob Zombies music since early White Zombie but assumed he had it in him to make a bad ass movie.  It finally came out and I went to see it and enjoyed the shit out of it. It was nothing new, it wasn't gonna change anything but it was a fun ride.  I then heard he was doing a sequel. I waited curious and when the time came went and saw it. I was blown the fuck out of the water.  It was so gritty and brutal and funny and gory. I have watched this film so many times.  I know there is a lot of Rob Zombie hate and believe me I wish he would of taken some different roads than he has but one thing I will do is stand by The Devils Rejects.

7. A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors- Chuck Russell

     I have watched this movie so many times. When I was in fourth grade I would stop by the video store on my way home at least once a week to rent this. It is one of the first movies I remember as soon as it was over rewinding and watching again immediately.  I to this day love the Dokken song. I watched that video so many times it wore out on the VHS.  I still to this day listen to it on a regular basis.  Dream Warriors is damn close to a perfect horror film for me. Its interesting, its funny, its got amazing kills, it was the last one before Freddy became super ridiculous and all the cast is amazing. I still think the first one is a superior film but for pure entertainment I always return to the suicide ward.

6. Phantasm III: Lord of the Dead- Don Coscarelli

    I love Phantasm and everything involving Phantasm.  Lord of the Dead is awesome. It's like the bad ass action Phantasm movie. A little over the top but I can forgive it due to the scene with like a thousand spheres fucking shit up. It's like bukake for phans.

5. Phantasm II- Don Coscarelli

     This is the one I saw first. I was a little kid and found the VHS at the local comic shop for cheap and was like wow. Balls.  It's a fun film but it has the wrong Mike in it. Still love it and have some fond ass memories that go along with it.

4.Phantasm: OblIVion- Don Coscarelli

     The first time I saw this I was not a fan. I thought it was kinda boring and had a made for TV feel.  A couple years later I did a marathon and was confused as when I got to it I loved it. The story is so dense and interesting. I love seeing the back story and all the unused footage from part one. It's hard for me to admit when I'm wrong but my first impression of this was total bullshit.

3. Troll 2: Claudio Fragasso

     One of the worst movies ever made hands down. I love it. I have seen this movie so many god damn times I should be put in an insane asylum.  So much has been said about this I don't feel the need to explain myself. I am a sick fuck and will leave it at that.

2. C.H.U.D. II: Bud the Chud-  David Irving

     C.H.U.D. was a fun seedy dirty New York film about underground dwellers. It had the dude from Home Alone and Bushwacked.  F.K.U. wrote a song about it.  Then came part two. They said fuck it lets make a buddy comedy with a zombie that kicks poodles caused ruckus and loves meat.  I always can watch this no matter what my mood.

1. Ghoulies III: Ghoulies go to College- John Carl Buechler

     I wanted to include Ghoulies four just because Wynorski directed it but I just couldn't. It's kind of a piece of shit. This however directed by one of the best special effects dudes that drinks his own pee and directed the first Troll is so god damn good I could go on for hours. I won't as I really want to go get some huevos rancheros. It's like Animal House with things that come out of your toilet and say the funniest shit ever.

     Well there is the top 50 sequels. Was it better all lumped together? Who knows? I do know we are creatures of excess so I figured might as well.


1 comment:

WizWor said...

You had me at Final Destination 2! Favorite of the series (haven't seen 5 yet)

Thought E.T. kid was excellent in Psycho 4

Dig the hell out of ROTLD II. First zombie movie I saw at the cinema.

Creepshow 2 probably isn't as good as the first film realistically, but The Raft is my favorite story from the entire franchise!

Big fan of Waxwork 2. Maybe not as much as the first film but still thought it worked.

Pumpkinhead II: Too much lighting on the creature this time but a Carl Buechler/Quigley sex scene is exciting. Plus Hodder as a redneck and Ami Dolenz was a fucking doll!

Perhaps like Night of the Demons more than the first. Dance scene with Morbid Angel owns, and Steve Johnson's Angel snake FX rule.

Freakin love Pet Semetary II. Halloween graveyard scene in excellent!

Love everything about Halloween 4 save for the mask design. They threw in Carl Buechler FX later on for lack of gore, but wish there had been more. Great ending!

Psycho II has one of the best endings of all time. Actually prefer the film to the original.

I remember going to see Gremlins 2 on the big screen excited as hell and the cinema gave out free shirts! It bombed due to overhype for that shitty ass Dick Tracy film. There were kids making fun of me in line because I was seeing Gremlins 2. Ultimately, the fucking joke was on them.

Exorcist III. Shit, Brad Douriff beasts it, and I love George C Scott. Though, I like the second film on a so bad it's good level.

Critters 2. Critter ball and the thought of a critter easter egg hunt is epic. Only Mick Garris film I like, except Sleepwalkers, which I am almost ashamed to admit to.

Texas 2. Hammy performance from Hopper, great introduction to Moseley, Stretch's epic legs, Savini's over the top FX... epic

Leatherface: Metal head Leather, Foree as a weekend warrior and Viggo played a great redneck.

Friday 4 has the best acting in the series. Glover and Feldman, awesome kills and FX, and had a fitting end, even though it didn't end.

There are more on the list that I love, I just wanted to say I am with ya, man! I'll weigh in more later.