The Simpsons: Tree House of Horror a Retrospective

 

     Being thirty one and growing up I am sure it goes without saying The Simpsons played an integral part in my growing up. Since I also was a huge horror nerd and spent more time on the playground talking about Chucky and Freddy than I did about about poontang and the Halloween special was something I looked forward to more than finally blowing a load(seriously it was like three years of dick chafe) after jerkin my gerkin. I loved all the references to Dracula and Clockwork Orange and plenty that at the time I didn't get. Seeing Bart as the raven was amazing as I was a huge Poe fan and every year there I would eat my candy and laugh my god damn ass off. This of course continued into High School and beyond. There was a few years I would say fifteen to nineteen that I didn't have TV and to be honest had grown tired of The Simpsons. Since then I have went back and watched all of them and for the most part love most. My biggest complaint would be the Mr and Mrs Smith one. Wow, who gives a shit? That movie wasn't horror and lasted about five minutes in the spot light. 

    I have been wanting to sit down and watch all of them back to back for a while now but just never found the time to do it. I knew it would be fun, I also knew it would be painful. I have learned over the years that all marathons get hard no matter how good the subject is. I am not talking double features I am talking balls to the wall marathons. I have done everything from A Nightmare on Elm Street, Friday the 13th, Halloween, Saw, Puppet Master, Children of the Corn, Tremors and Critters. Over at the Badnetflix Crew   I am known as captain of the endurance division. The grog does help but by the end of any of these marathons I am tired, drunk, irritable and question my sanity. That of course doesn't stop me and I will always to them as Pinhead would agree pain is pleasure.  Well the time came and I saw an opportunity so I took it. Steph Infection was here and Gabe Nye the Science guy was gonna come join in.

Do you know what the fuck that means? I don't.

I had booze, and snacks and monster cereals. It was go time.  As I watched each episode and got more affected by the grog my notes got more confusing and nonsensical, but at the same time I think they portray what I was feeling pretty well. Here is a actual episode guide if you want to see where I am coming from but I would just like to share with you my madness.       My handwriting has always been considered a form of abstract art but after two fifths even I don't understand everything. I will use a secret decoder ring I got in my box of Fruit Brute(I wish) to desipher what is happening and you may have to put yourself in my world to grasp what is going on. Are you ready for this challenge? If so here are my drunk observations on every episode of Tree House of Horror(which as I found out was not called that till episode thirteen). Enjoy?

Episode One 

Haunted house story
When a Stranger Calls reference

Poltergeist reference

Aliens Rule, kind of a Hansel and Gretel in space

Edgar Allen Poe

Bart's a Raven

Episode Two

Bride of Frankenstein Hair

Monkeys Paw

Twilight Zone

Frankenstein meets Robowar

Thing with two Heads

Episode Three

Alfred Hitchcock Presents

Alex from Clockwork Bart

Gremlins meets Trilogy of Terror

King Kong

Smithers doesn't think girls and seaman mix

Night of the Living Dead meets Return of the Living Dead meets Serpent and the Rainbow

Episode Four

Night Gallery  Opening 

The Devil and Homer Simpson= The Devil and Miss Jones

Devil Flanders

Hot Dog Jokes

Terror at five and a half feet(Wheres Shatner?)

Burns as Dracula

Lost Boys

Charlie Brown Christmas

Adams Family Simpsons song

Episode Five

Outer Limits intro

Shining like a mother fucker

Freddy/Jason/Pinhead/Frankie/Mummy

Ray Bradbury's Sound of Thunder

Episode Six

Sleepy Hollow

Attack of the 50 Foot Woman

Godzilla Roar

Nightmare on Elm Street references like a mother fucker

Episode Seven

Innerspace?

Twilight Zone of course

Earth vs The Flying Saucers

Episode Eight

Omega Man- Obviously. I am as drunk as Hasslehoff and I got that.

The Fly

Spy vs Spy

Origins of Halloween

The Crucible meets Witches of Eastwick

Episode Nine 

Freddy and Jason on couch gag

Stay Tuned?

Starship Troopers

How Stella got her Groove Back reference

Jerry Springer in his hay day

Episode Ten

I know what you did last Summer

Weekend at Bernies 

Xena

Sixties Batman

Pauly Shore and Tom Arnold

Rossie O Donnell not in S & M

Episode Eleven

Munsters Intro

Ghost Dad title

This episode was Casey Anthony's inspiration

Fairy Tales without Linea Quigley

Free Willy fucked Echo the Dolphin

Jaws reference with less bush

Deep Blue Sea but more white

Dolphins are Indians

Sea=Casinos

The Birds reference

Quote of the day "I wanna punch a dolphin so bad." - Gabe Nye the Science Guy

Episode Twelve

Psycho House

Flinstones and Shining twins costumes

Thinner without road head

Bart is like those African lady's I used to jerk off to in National Geographic

2001 reference

Harry Potter

Episode  Thirteen

Officially becomes Tree House of Horror

Multiplicity

Dr Strangelove to save the day

Apocalypse Now FTW

Island of Dr Moreau

Episode Fourteen

Charlie Brown opening

Benny Hill

Reefer Madness title

Frankenstein

Staying Alive Walk=less retarded than Spider-Man 3

Jerry Lewis

Superman vs Patty Hearst=Amazing

Fantastic reference

Episode Fifteen

Perfect Strangers intro

Dead Zone(I use to have Dead Zone powers)

Homer is Lex in Smallville

Jack the Ripper

Sherlock without dinosaurs

Fantastic Voyage

Episode Sixteen

13 Ghosts fucked The Most Dangerous Game

Edward Scissorhands reference

A.I. is a douche

Like that episode of Buffy where her mom fucks Giles

Bewitched reference

Sports jokes make as much sense to me as reality does to religious nutzos

Episode Seventeen

Tales from the mother fucking Crypt opening

The Blob without the less Dillon(who I like better)

Homers stomach is like that bitch from the new Twilight trailer

Sir Mix a Lot song upgraded

DER GOLEM

Day the Earth stood Still

Episode Eighteen

Kenny Loggins Jewish Space Creature

ET

One Flew over the Cuckoos Nest

Fuck you Mr and Mrs Smith

Ramones!!!!

Hell House-Christian Scare doc reference

Devil Flanders 2: Electric Boogaloo

Transformers reference

Episode Nineteen

Transformers

Foosball for real

Madmen

Prince is deadaroo

John Wayne in Heaven

Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown

Episode Twenty

Monster Squad sports heroes

Heath Ledger without pill popping action

Dial M for Murder

Hitchcockapalooza

Hitch Cameo

28 Days Later

McBain meets Terminator

Phantom of the Opera

Random musical bullshit

Episode Twenty One

Office intro with monsters

Satan=Awesome

Board Games come to life= Told the future IE Battleship

Titanic reference

Dead Calm is pretty sweet

Second Clockwork costume

Twilight Simpsons>Twighlight

Jock from Can't Hardly Wait is Dracula?

I wanna hang out with Count Chocula, Dracula, Grandpa Munster, Elvira, Blacula, and the Muppet Drac

Well I spent my whole day watching this and hope that someone out there can figure out what the fuck I am saying. I don't know. 

Tromeric