Elves- Jeffrey Mandel

    Another movie to add to the growing list of Christmas movies. This movie is everything you want from the eighties. Bad ass creature, gore, over the top acting, a guy that looks like John Carl Buechler( I am looking at you Grizzly Adams), and titties.
     The plot of Elves is fucking insane. I swear it was written by someone with borderline schizophrenia.  The elves were made by Nazi's  to become solders and fuck hotties and fuck up Christmas and taunt little boys. They used the family guy manatee ball method to make this shit up. Guess what though? It doesn't matter.  It is a sweet eighties movie with awesome effects that you can drink and have a blast. Dan Haggerty is like the coolest dude ever in this. You just wanna hang out with him. He is smart, inspirational and knows how to kill a fucking elf.  You also get incest and a cunt nugget mom who kill's cats and than gets her comeuppens which I always love seeing. You gonna fuck with a cat I hope your vagina gets fried till it's licking good fried. Yeah fuck you cat hater. Cry me a river, your daddy fucked you. He is in a wheelchair. If you cant stop an old dude in a wheelchair you were asking for it.

      So final thoughts. Who gives a shit what I said or what the box says. It is a movie called Elves. Killer fucking Elves.

3.5/5

Tromeric