Guts and Grog Tooned Up

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Horror With Training Wheels Has Come And Gone

Horror with training wheels came and went faster than I would last in bed with the pink power ranger. I had been wanting to do a theme week on the grog for a bit, and one drunken night kids horror hit me like the whore that I am. It just seemed perfect. I knew everyone had to have started somewhere with their horror obsession. Nostalgia is a drug all of us horror kids are addicted to more than Charlie Sheen is to tiger blood, so I figured it was a good place to start. What I assumed would be a week of a review a day featuring films like "Ernest Scared Stupid" to "The Monster Squad" turned into a week exploration into so much more. The heavy hitters I got to reminisce blew my goddamn mind. Horror with training wheels was a success that I never would of guessed. Sure there were problems. I got sicker than shit during it, Facebook decided to block me for three days in the middle for bullshit reasons, and Blogger was fucking with me hard. I know more than one of the posts were messed up. I spent days and days formatting and arranging the awesome, and sure enough when I posted them a few had completely lost  the format I had seen. These were all resolved of course. I got better eventually, many of you helped share all the posts in my absence from Facebook(shout out to Brobo for keeping this shit on course). One thing I was sad about is due to all those factors is I was not able to contribute nearly as much as I wanted(granted, I didn't need to with all the awesome everyone else brought). Well I want to take this time to give a quick overview of my training wheels, as well as thank everyone one of you that read or contributed to this badassness.

I have always been the type to just jump into things. When I was a kid  my dad found me a bike at the dump(yeah, he was classy) and I lived on the top of a hill in Florida. I would go to the top of the hill everyday and get on my bike and try and make it to the bottom. I spent many days in a row eating shit and going home bloodier than Carrie White's shower, where my mom would bandage me up and I would climb my dumb ass back to the top. This is how I have lived my whole life. I always have sworn by "why go swimming if you don't wanna get wet." Well that also bleeds into my horror life. I remember seeing "Friday the 13th V: A New Beginning" on TV when I was like six or seven. I saw that dude axe that fat kid in the back and it disgusted me, but I enjoyed it. Is that weird? I wasn't sure. I instantly was hooked. I would buy Fangoria when my mom would take me to Walden Books, I would check the TV guide every week for upcoming horror films, and I would stop by the video store by my house on my way home from school. I quickly was obsessed with horror and I couldn't get enough. I started reading and watching anything I could. My mom was not a horror fan at all, but she was very supportive. She would let me watch whatever I wanted. She did spend lots of time with me making sure I understood the difference between Freddy and real horror. She knew I was not a total douche, and trusted me. The school would call occasionally worried because my story I wrote, or drawing I did was too macabre. My mom always had my back. I was lucky with that. Before I was ten I had already seen some seriously fucked up films and loved them. The thing is... I still found kids horror or whatever you want to call it. Even after I rented "Faces of Death" I would see "Tales from the Cryptkeeper" and swoon. I still wanted to buy Count Chocula. I had seen all the Freddy and Jason films that were out, and I still read "Bunnicula" and "Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark" more than your average church goer pretends to read the bible. Kids horror played a huge part in my life. I just didn't happen to watch it first.

Kids horror to this day is huge in my life. I still wake up and feel the need to watch "Tales from the Cryptkeeper." I still watch "Monster Squad" on a regular basis, hell I just saw it in 35 mm last year. I still read "Bunnicula" yearly and everyday when I drive by the kennel "Howliday Inn" chuckle and assume they are huge James Howe fans. I am literally eating a bowl of Count Chocula as I type this. Kids horror is forever. I decided I was a horror nerd before I could cum and will continue to be one long after I can get it up.

In closing I would like to thank each and every person involved in this.  I seriously am so overjoyed and amazed at the awesome I got for this. I have read each article submitted numerous times, and cannot believe the time and thought that every single one of you put into this. If you have not read all of the entries, please do. This shit blew my mind, and you owe it to yourself to check it all. Below are links to all of the articles. Please also check all of the sites the contributors write or work for. These are all places I am a regular reader of.

- Tromeric


Maynard Morrissey said...

Thank you for inviting us all. It was really fun! Haven't found the time to read them all yet, but I'll try over the weekend.

Kev D. said...

Awesome! It'll take me a while, but I'm gonna (try to) read these all. Good stuff.