Guts and Grog Tooned Up

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Silent Night- Steven C. Miller

Remakes. Love 'em or hate 'em they are a part of a horror nerds lexicon. I generally dismiss them, but have been pleasantly surprised in the past. This is not a pro or anti remake rant. Just some facts.

I love "Silent Night, Deadly Night." Hell, I love all five of them. When I first heard they were remaking SNDN, I was hesitant, but not necessarily against it.  Over the last year I kind of forgot about it, then BAM! I realized it came out today. I am a huge fan of Xmas movies, so of course I had to get home from getting all groged up and pop this shit in.

I will start by saying, if this this is a remake, it is about as loose of a definition as Steph Infection. There is a Santa, there are homages to SNDN one and two, there is killing. That is about it.

A Santa who wears a Slipnot mask shows up in town and starts killing people. There is a deputy who is sad, a deputy who is an idiot, Malcolm McDowell reprises his role as a douche from "Halloween II," and the town is weird because of some other shit that happened. That is as much of a plot as I can muster, and about as much plot as you need. This is a slasher movie at the truest definition. Charecters you don't care about, non attractive girls pretending to be attractive and getting naked, KILL, KILL, KILL.

In the end, I don't really feel strongly one way or the other on this. I have seen worse, but it is very forgettable. It is boring visually. Way too much green and red filtering on the camera, way too much shaking of the camera. The gore was pretty awesome, and a couple of the kills were pretty creative, but that's about all I can say.

While I wouldn't hate myself for watching it again, it also will not be part of the yearly grog tradition. With movies like "Silent Night, Deadly Night" and all four sequels, "Jack Frost, Santa's Slay, Don't Open 'till Christmas, and Christmas Evil," "Silent Night" can get to the back of the bus.


- Tromeric

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