Top 10 Games of 2011- Gabe Nye the Science Guy

10. Infamous 2: Fucking hell, another sequel. Can we all agree that 2011 was the year of brilliant sequels? There were some great original games, and most of them were download only (which is a fantastic move forward in game design, go future) but the best games of the year were follow ups to previous games. It makes sense, big studios get the most money and, unlike the film industry, that generally leads to the best games. Indie games are great and innovative, but none of them have given me the thrill that I got from even the introductory mission in Infamous 2. It was still re-teaching me the control scheme from the original, and I was fighting a massive monster that (gorgeously) looked to be made out of fire and ash. The epic scale and improvements over the first game made it a must play this year, and would've elevated it to a much higher standing on my list any other year. It was just such a great year for sequels that it'll have to settle for number ten.

9. Portal 2: Full disclosure: this was probably the most fun I had playing a game this year. The writing is just awe inspiring from the very beginning. Whomever wrote this should be at the top of Hollywood/network TVs list for comedy writing. Every single line is hilarious, entertaining, and moves the plot forward. As far as the game goes though, it is (and I'm getting pretty tired of saying/thinking this during this article) everything that made the first game great plus some. In a year of sequels, though, this one is very probably the most improved over part one. The puzzles are more cunning, the story is more interesting, and the voice acting is bar none the best I've ever heard in a video game.

8. Dead Space 2: This is hands down the best horror game of the year, and I really wanted to give it first place just because of how much I love horror. The first Dead Space impressed with a mix of Resident Evil 4's proven game play, mixed with a plot that combined Alien, The Thing, and Event Horizon. Part two pretty much just takes everything that was great about the original and makes it better. Honestly, that's what dropped it down to #8 though. It just doesn't add enough to the formula to make it truly amazing. It's a phenomenal game that you will love from start to finish, but if you played the first one you just might be asking yourself “OK, but what else is new?”

7. Dark Souls: This game will kick your ass all over the place. It's a spiritual sequel to Demon's Soul, a PS3 exclusive from a year or two ago. This time it's available on the 360 as well, and it's even more unforgiving and addictive. Seriously, only give this one a chance if you started playing games back in the 2600/NES days. Back when games actually challenged your skills. It will annihilate your being and make you feel like a child. If you're a fan of dying eighty times in a row before you even get to the first boss, this is your game. You will feel like a god every time you accomplish anything in this though. Not for everybody, but if it resonates with you, you'll probably be pissed that I didn't give it #1

6. Saints Row the Third: The Saints Row games started out as a Grand Theft Auto ripoff. The first one was good, but pretty derivative. It made money though, so we got a franchise out of it. The second one changed things up by making things a little more ridiculous than GTA, and that made it a lot of fun to play. Part three really took things to a new level though, you'll pilot a futuristic jet fighter, beat people to death with dildos, and throw yourself in front of cars to earn money through insurance fraud. All of this is incredibly fun, and everything you do earns you experience points, which gives it a leg up on the GTA games. It's just pure fun, and I encourage anyone out there who's dismissed the franchise to give this newest installment a chance.

5.Uncharted 3: Drake's Deception: This one was a no brainer. The first two Uncharted games were brilliant, and they just keep getting better with each installment. The graphics are probably the best I've ever seen, and the game play is like anal sex; tight and satisfying. I kid though, I've never had anal sex, but I can't imagine it's better than this game. (and I have a very vivid imagination.) If you have a PS3, you should've played this one already.

4. Batman: Arkham City: I really thought this was going to be my number one for game of the year. Don't get me wrong, it really would have been anytime in the recent past, but 2011 was a hell of a year for video games. Considering how much I love Batman, and how great a job Rocksteady did bringing the Batman experience to consoles it's crazy that this isn't my number one. Everything that was great about Arkham Asylum has been cranked up to eleven for the sequel. You absolutely feel like Batman through the entire game from start to finish. It constantly makes you feel like a badass, which is something most games fail miserably at. I don't have much more to say besides “If you even kind of like Batman, this game will consume your life until you finish it. Buy it, now.

3. Super Mario 3D Land: Much like Skyward Sword, I wasn't necessarily expecting much from Mario 3D Land. Don't get me wrong, I bought a 3DS the day it came out and never looked back, even when Nintendo dropped the price for the latecomers. Mario was the title that really justified my purchase though. It's still the only game that has used the 3D effect for anything more than a gimmick. They actually made it part of the gameplay. It looks gorgeous, controls like a dream, and will keep you entertained for hours, and then frustratingly challenged for several more hours. Come on, it's a new Mario game, why wouldn't you buy it​?

2. Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword: I was fairly unsure about this one before it came out. And that's really saying something when it comes to a new Zelda game too. I've loved every installment of this series for basically my entire life. (Except for you Majora's Mask. You know what you did.) Believe me though, if you weren't impressed by the videos or screenshots that you saw for Skyward Sword you should reconsider. It is (by a long shot) the best looking game on the Wii. Much like Wind Waker this game has a more stylized approach to the graphics. Where Wind Waker went for a “cartoony, animated” look (That still looks great today, by the way. I revisited the game earlier this year to get ready for Skyward Sword.) Skyward Sword went for a “watercolor painting” vibe. And it works, so well. I can easily see revisiting this game in 10 years and still thinking it's beautiful. Aside from the visuals, this game finally brings us the amazing interaction that Nintendo promised with their motion control way back when the Wii was released. Every aspect of the controls for this game are brilliant and bring you in to the world in a way you've never experienced. I've already said too much about this game, but I have a lot more I'd like to say, so I'll try to summarize. Amazing puzzles, both in dungeons and in the overworld, the most challenging combat in a Zelda game since the second one, and the best storytelling Nintendo has ever given us. This game tells the first story of Link saving Zelda, and they do it so well. Pick this one up if you've ever loved Nintendo the way I do.

1. The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim: I really didn't want this one to come it at number one. I wasn't that impressed with Elder Scrolls 4, beyond the graphics. I almost didn't even pick this one up right away. I figured I'd wait until it came down in price before I gave it a chance. But then I started hearing about how amazing it was. From everyone, everywhere. Friends, Twitter, Facebook, video game sites. Everyone. And you know what? They were all right, but none of them came close to describing how awesome the game is. I won't get into details, because I'm sure all of you have played it already. The point is, if you're one of the 12 people that still haven't played this game yet (I'm looking at you, Eric) you're fucking retarded, and you need to go buy this one right now. (This includes my own brother, who is an asshole for not playing this game yet). Take that Jacob. Simply put, this is a game that I put 70+ hours into without even beating the main story and never got bored.


 So, that's it for my year end synopsis. I didn't realize until I started typing it up how much of a year for sequels this had been. A big part of me wanted to go back and add some original games into the list, just on principal. But, I can't argue with any of these games being in the top ten, they were all phenomenal and absolutely deserve their place in the best of the year. Frankly, all of my runners up were sequels too; games like Mario Kart 7, Rayman Origins (a prequel), Battlefield 3, or Modern Warfare 3. I would've loved to have given a spot to Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time 3D for the 3DS, but it was a remake of a game from the N64 days. It may be the best remake/re imagining I've ever played, but it's still a 13 year old game. So what can I say for 2011 when it comes to games? Overall I'd have to say that it was a year for awe inspiring skill in programming, but a pretty disappointing year for creativity. Still, who can complain when you've got such entertaining software to keep you busy? Besides, some of these sequels are easily the best in the series, like Saints Row The Third, or take the gameplay that you've come to expect to new levels like Legend of Zelda the Skyward Sword. If you're one of those people that demands originality, this wasn't your year. But the rest of us, who appreciate solid gameplay and pure fun, it was a hell of a year in gaming.

Gabe Nye the Science Guy

31 days of Horror Nerd Indoctrination- Day Fifteen: Video Games

     I will start right off the bat by saying that I have a very limited history of video games. They have always been around and I liked playing them when I was a kid but overall I would rather watch a movie or read a book.  I have tons of great memories playing video games and that's kind of what I will be going over here.  I know there will be tons that are not mentioned as this is about my history with video games not the history of video games. Last year Gabe Nye the Science Guy wrote an article on video games which I suggest you read if you want someone that knows his shit, and by knows his shit I mean gave up the feel of a woman.

 Some of my first memories of horror games would of course be for the NES.  Fester's Quest is a game I would just play for hours.  I always loved the Nightmare on Elm Street and Friday the 13th games but even at that young age knew they were pretty much pieces of shit. I didn't care though.  I would play them for what felt like Christ ages just because two of my dudes where on the covers.

     The Genesis is probably the most I have played video games at any point in my life.  There were a few stand out games that I couldn't get enough of.  The Ghostbusters game was a blast. I remember playing the shit out of this game. I loved the four guys running around with huge heads. It always reminded me of if the Ghostbusters were Pinhead from Puppet Master.  My favorite game hands down was Haunting. You played as Poulterguy and you just would scare the shit out of people. I always thought that was a cool idea. I would stay up all night eating chips and salsa and play this with the lights out. The Splatterhouse games of course were a huge part of the horror gaming world back then but when I think back it was always three that I remember. I loved that he kinda looked like Jason and you just got slash the shit out of people. Sold. The Genesis is also responsible for putting out my favorite licensed game ever. Toxic Crusaders. Yeah, Troma got a video game.  I never had a SNES but would always go to a friends to play Zombies ate my Neighbors. What a classic fucking game.  A few years down the line the flop of a system Sega CD came out and I was on the bandwagon. I remember playing the Batman Returns game but when I think back to the CD there is one game and one game only that always sticks with me. Night Trap. Yeah it was like a home invasion movie meets Slumber Party Massacre with vampires.  This game stirred up some shit. It gave the christian right fuel for their fire and Sega caved like pussies and took the game off the market.

      After the Genesis I was pretty lazy when it came to gaming, I mean even more so and that's saying something.  I didn't even bother getting a PS2 till way late into the game.  I lived with people who had one and would play some games here in there.  I remember liking the Jaws one because it reminded me of Echo the Dolphin but with a shark, which is way cooler because dolphins are pretty lame and a shark ate Samuel L. Jackson.  I never really played The Thing but when I lived with Jeremy Gaulkenstein he pretty much stayed on the couch in his robe playing it for like a month straight so I saw the whole game play. Army of Darkness had a few games but Regeneration is the one I remember. I liked the midget and it was mildly amusing.  Good way to kill time till I got bored and put in a movie.

     These days I still like to play a game here or there but usually end up seeing who Jason is killing instead.  The new Splatterhouse owned me. It was a little repetitive but fuck, so were the old ones. The Resident Evil games are fun and definitely something I have enjoyed.  House of the Dead is great when you have had a few drinks and just wanna shoot some fucking zombies, main problem is it always makes me put in the Uwe Boll movie.

These days it's all about the I pod.  So many games in the palm of your hand for cheaper than a hooker charges to be in the palm of her hand(because hand jobs are cheap). Horror Trivia, a game based on Pet Sematary and tons more.


     I don't want to give the impression I don't love video games, they had a huge part to my growing up. I just am not the authority. This is my overview of games that I remember playing.  I highly recommend Gabe Nye's article which you can read here.

Tromeric

Oneechanbara: The Movie - Yôhei Fukuda

I think Uwe Boll Made this, well its the movie he wishes he made, based on a video game, incorporates video game footage, bad acting, bad CGI, its got all the staples of a Boll film but manages to be more entertaining, not great by any means and could of used more bikini action but at least there are lots of zombies with Pancho's and mystical fireballs. Get a bottle and you will be entertained, your IQ will not grow but your penis will.

2/5

Eric

Postal- Uwe Boll

Never have I actually enjoyed a Uwe Boll film this much, sure usually I enjoy the awfulness and the masochist in me enjoys the torture and strength it takes to get through one all the way, similar to the rush of watching Blood Freak. Not this time, I laughed my god damn ass off, its amazing from start to finish, absurdly wonderful, the scene with Mr. Uwe Boll himself is so fucking funny I shot Schlitz malt liquor out my nose and nearly shit my draws.

3.5/5


Eric

House of the dead(funny version)- Uwe Boll

Oh my god, Uwe ball rulz my ballz. He sucks Jesus cock. He is the New Ed wood. He boxed some dudes like Mike Tyson, no ear eating though. This movie sucked. Video game footage is not good, but it rulz. This version made me laugh so hard i came funny cum. That's like cum with word balloons. Brian USAed secret cutted me. Gross, y0ung Louis Lane shows her ta ta's. Nice. I searched for this movie like Columbus searched for America, this movie is better than America, fiveial has helathcare. Watch this if you have a sense of humor, if not watch meet the parents. Ed or Edna, that's what i say.

Movie .5/5 This version 4/5

Eric