Guts and Grog Tooned Up

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Top 10 of 2000

    How can you not think of Harrison Ford doing a sketch on Conan when you talk about the year 2000.  The world didn't end as many thought it would.  Florida shows the country that it really can't count and Jack Lemmon became a grumpy old man and one of the saddest days in history when we lost Ernest P. Worrell himself Mr Jim Varney. Now onto the movies. 2000 was a weird year.  Some goodies but shoved between a lot of garbage.  Here we go.

    10.Wild Zero- iTetsuro Takeuchi  

So bad ass.  Guitar Wolf killing, rocking, combing their hair and just being awesome.  There is a drinking game on the DVD where you drink anytime they say rock and roll, someone combs their hair of something gets lit on fire.  I almost died. 

9.  Final Destination- James Wong

Had no interest in seeing this. Once I did was pleasantly surprised. Not perfect by any means but the deaths where so fucking fun it was refreshing after such bullshit as I saw what you did last summer and other such shit.

8. Shadow of the Vampire- E. Elias Merhige

Willem Dafoe is always great but this is one of his highlights.  The director of Begotten shows his stuff in this historical horror awesome show. Never get sick of this.

7.  Ed Gein- Chuck Parello
Many films have been made about Ed, some just loosely(IE TCM or Psycho), some more accurate like this, Derranged or the bullshit one with Kane Hodder play Mr Gein and of course the classic, Ed and his dead mother with Steve Buscemi.  Steve Railsbeck play this perfect and I always enjoy revisiting this like Mr Gein liked to revisit his moms body(with semen).

6.  Requiem for a Dream- Darren Aronofsky
Some people may argue the validity of this being  a horror film.  Well for that I say "FUCK YOU"  This movie makes me cower in the corner like a little girl about to meet her daddy's belt. The look on Jennifer Connelly's face at the end makes me sick to my stomach. 

5. Battle Royale- Kinji Fukasaku
Today I killed my best friend. That line alone made me fall in love with this.  So fucking good.  Brutal, intense and just fucking awesome.  Lets do this.

4. Uzumaki- Higuchinsky
The first time I watched this I was so stoked. I hadn't seen to much like it. The visuals in this are mesmerizing and it has the worlds best screen fade ever.  I did a triple feature with this, Begotten, and Eraserhead one night and my mind almost blew up and spiraled into the sky.

3.  Ginger Snaps- John Fawcett

Having your period is like turning into a werewolf. Awesome.

2.  The Convent- Mike Mendez

This  Nuns, Guns and Gasoline.  Mike Mendez has yet to let me down.  Coolio and Bill Mosley as cops. Seeing Jesus on shrooms, and nuns killing the fuck out of people.  Love it.

1.  Citizen Toxie: The Toxic Avenger 4- Lloyd Kaufman

The first Toxic Avenger was a huge part of my childhood.  The two sequels were entertaining but lackluster at best. Then this came along and blew my mind like your mom blew my cock.  Hard.  So inappropriate and hilarious.  Toxie 5 is gonna own.

Well the year 2000 was kinda all over the place.  Next we move into the 90's.  Maybe the dream was alive in Portland but in the horror world it got a little awful. See what I find to be the best films in the worst decade of cinema.


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