Guts and Grog Tooned Up

Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Tromeric's Top 500: 250-226


I don't think I have ever been as literally on the edge of my seat, as I was when I first saw this on the big screen. It creates perfect tension, and the entire cast owns it. 


Still holds up as a nearly perfect film. 


I love what Boll did with the interviews before the movie. Then the movie is one of the most exploitative, over the top violent films I have ever seen. Basically I loved it. 


This definitely hit at an important time in my cinema obsession. I can't even begin to count how many times I watched it the first year it was on home video. 


I have always preferred this over the original. I love all of crazy gremlins we get. The gargoyle, the professor, the bat. So many great ones. 


A great slasher, and the start of one of my favorite actresses career. Brinke Stevens. 


Like Stand By Me with more torture. High on the list of films that actually made me uncomfortable. 


Basically a perfect action film. Great cast, great story, and entertaining as hell. It also made me want to rob banks while wearing president masks, so there's that. 


The sex appeal in this is insane, not to mention Sherilyn Fenn is beautiful. Art Garfunkel is one creepy looking mother fucker though. 


Possibly the best ending ever. Also, the soundtrack is amazing. Thor is a beast. 


I know it's cool to hate on these, but I love all three. This was a great finish. Catwoman was beyond sexy, and Bane may have a funny voice, but he is still a badass. 


I love the freaks so much in this. The first is great as a sleazy, gritty film. This one is way more fun. The effects are amped up, and the songs rule.


Possibly the most badass actor/director duo over. Also,that theme song. 


So many amazing creations in this one. Sure, the first one might be more influential, and possibly a better film, but I love all of the crazy in this one. 


Over time I have a feeling this one will move to a higher spot. I have already watched it like six times this year. Such a beautiful movie. 


When this came out, it was like nothing I had ever seen. I loved the books, and was beyond excited to see how they crossed over to the film world. I was beyond happy with the result. 


This has never been my favorite Cronenberg film, but that doesn't change how awesome it is. That is a crazy curve to be on. I love the feel, and that head explosion is bonkers to this day. 


One of the first Stephen King books I ever read. When I first heard it was becoming a miniseries, I shit. I watched it as it aired, and recorded that shit for repeat viewings. I still love it, and I still watch it frequently. Especially when you consider the running time.


Still has the same impact it did the first time I saw it. 


A bikersploitation film that went mainstream. A perfect fuck you letter to the world. 


Possibly the best dialogue in any movie, ever.


Pretty much the most badass movie ever made. 


Probably my favorite anthology film. All of the stories rule, and so many amazing jokes. Makes me feel like I am a kid, camping in my own backyard, telling scary stories again. 


A beautiful love letter to the old Giallo films. The music, the lighting, the close ups. All amazing. 


Who doesn't want to see a girl bang herself with a crucifix? 

Tuesday, December 30, 2014

The Doc Shares His Top Ten

Jaws – I hate when people tell me that good movies aren’t horror movies. Movies that “norms” deem good. Silence of the Lambs wins an Oscar… it’s a psychological thriller, right? Well let me buck my own system here. Jaws isn't a horror movie. It’s a movie about people. A drama. A movie about family and perhaps more a Western (big bad shark comes to town and a sheepish sheriff has to take faith in the rebel, drunkard who could as soon be his enemy as his compadre). Jaws has the best dialogue of any movie. Ever. Bold statement? Yes. I’ve been watching it since I was a kid when it first aired, very cut on WPIX channel 11. I used to play Jaws Legos before it was cool (before YouTube made all the movies Lego movies). Favorite scene: the cabin scene on the Orca, crew drunk and singing and regaling stories of wars and wounds. That or when Matt Hooper tries to explain to Mayor Larry his theory of sharks and what is likely to be the outcome of keeping the beaches open… Sick vandalism.

Creepshow – This is my first anthology horror picture. This could have easily been Dr. Terror’s House of Horrors or Tales from the Crypt from Amicus and I bet on some days they are on this top ten list in place of Creepshow. But not today. Today we talk about Adrian Barbeau’s nipples poking through her shirt as fluffy devours her. My first experience with the greatness of Hal Holbrook. A James Harrison score that should be used in more movies as it was used in the faux trailer for Thanksgiving by Eli Roth. We talk about the beginning of my love affair with George Romero, EC Comics, Stephen King (as writer and actor) and my fear of cakes, graveyards and whisky (all things I love as well). Creepshow was shown to me by my father with neighborhood kids in tow perhaps too early in life. I think I was five. I have never been as scared as I was when watching Nathan Grantham’s hand pop out of the ground. I still jump. I won’t go in tight places. I fear meteors. I fear plants. I fear bugs. I fear the tide line. I will forever feel the need to get jumpy and go blub blub blub.

The Blues Brothers – I still laugh at every scene in this movie and refer to nuns as penguins even though I didn’t have the pleasure of being in an orphanage or going to Catholic school. I love the music and the repeated homicide attempts by Carrie Fisher on John Belushi’s life. I quote it all the time. It’s almost a dialect. I consider The Blues Brothers as influential on me in my appreciation of movies as it is on my musical taste. 

Ghostbusters – I used to record scenes on a my tape dec and play them on my front porch while listening to the soundtrack and playing G.I. Joes on my front porch. I thought Gozer was hot. So was Jeanine. So was Dana (possessed and not). I see each of the Ghostbusters in myself. A little Ray. A little Winston. A little Peter. A little Egon. I probably did half my ghost hunting and Weird NJ rides later in life because I wanted to find a reason to make a proton pack come to life. The opening library scene still gets me. Ghostbusters is as scary as it is funny and thought provoking. I always wonder which building in Manhattan skyline is actually the temple of a pre-Sumerian deity.

The Beyond – This is the one that got me. The Italian horror picture that made me love them all (for better or worse). Sometimes I remind folks that I saw Demons 2 before The Beyond but I didn’t understand how it fit into the world view of horror. The Beyond was an eye opener. I love the score (both the US and traditional version by Frizzi). Has the perfect cast. Each scene has a phantasmagoric terror to it and one I still don’t full understand but love. The Beyond taught me what it meant to see and enjoy gore. From time to time City of the Living Dead wanders past The Beyond as my favorite Fulci movie, but not for long. Even Cannibal Holocaust and Nightmare City usurp The Beyond on my favorite Italian horror movie list… but it doesn’t stay that way.

It’s a Wonderful Life – I cry at this movie every time I watch it. I used to get completely loaded and watch this on repeat. Now I save it for the Christmas time and enjoy it. I savor it. I try not to abuse it or watch it to much because I want every moment to be special now. Hell, I am George Bailey. Wanted to see the world. Live in the same town (nearly) that I grew up in. Stayed close. Started a family. Fix up the house. Always fighting strange incarnations of Potter.  I like to live my life as though George’s life is my own. I do not always succeed but during moments of great duress I realize that I do have a wonderful life. I love Buffalo Girls.

Grindhouse – This is the most perfect union of two movies I have seen. I cannot watch them separately. I must watch them both with trailers and advertisements and bumpers. I want it all. I do not want the extended version. On one hand I get a gruesome juicy disgusto fest with fun filmmaking and homages galore. On the other I get some of my favorite cars, favorite songs and favorite women. Tarantino is a genius. Rodriguez too.

Empire Strikes Back – I’m not sure if it was the toys or the movie that got me more, but when I first saw this and played my first of Hoth on my living room carpet I became a lifer. A Star Wars fan for life. By including this on this list please do not let me suggest that I like the other movies in the original trilogy any less. I like them all equally, but Empire had a profound impact on my sense of play and morality. I wish George Lucas had left it alone but I have hope that someday I’ll get to enjoy an HD version of Empire again without the “upgrade”. Empire is as frightening as it is thrilling. The summary in Clerks pretty much says it all as to why this is an amazing movie to watch and love.

Inglorious Basterds – I watch this several times a year and quote it more often than even I realize. I love the characters and their voices as well as the revisionist, fantastical history that is created by one of my favorite directors. The music is the perfect Tarantino amalgam of classic movie scores and stings. I love the cast. I love the Bear Jew. Christoph Waltz is a genius, but he’s not the only genius in this picture.

Young Frankenstein – I love Mel Brooks and Young Frankenstein is the perfect blend of the spooky and the hilarious. Gene Wilder and Marty Friedman banter like the road map for slap stick shtick comedy. It’s sexy and yet strangely empathic creating emotional connections that I’m not entirely certain I understand. This has one of the best endings of any movie and not just a comedy or not just a horror movie for that matter.

From the bowels and brains of American International to the rib cage and eye sockets of Amicus, Dr. James Terror will write your eyes shut with, well... TERROR!!! (and perhaps a bit of camp now and again for flavor). The focus of DOCTERROR.COM is to enjoy and shape the horror-verse for the horror community. We review a variety of horror and science fiction titles with a focus on positive or constructive reviews meant to guide the audience rather than create a negative environment. You'll find retrospectives, lists, faux movies and faux video games as well as giveaways and tributes.Writing Your Eyes Shut From the Pre-History to the Post-Apocalypse of Horror. In addition to DOCTERROR.COM Dr. Jimmy also contributes to The Liberal Dead, The Dead Air Horror and Genre Podcast and The Little Punk People Blog. Look for his annual Italian Horror Week mid-July featuring guest writers, giveaways, and 8-Bit Faux video games by Hacktvision based on some of your favorite Italian Horror features.

Tromeric's Top 500: 275-251


A classic for a reason. The ending is one of the most devastating in history.


Cronenberg is a God. Still holds up as one of the best remakes in history. Watching Jeff Goldblum transform is crushing on the soul. 


Still my favorite 3D theatrical experience. This one gets a lot of hate, but I love it every time I watch it. Powerglove? Fuck yeah. 


A revenge flick turned up to eleven, then flipped around like a baby in a dryer. Keeps you on the edge of your seat, and has some beautiful visuals. 


Weird Al is such a bad ass. This made me want to open up my own TV station so bad. A dream I still have. 


Ernest has, and will always be one of my heroes. The pen scene makes me shit out of my face every time. It is also great to see evil Ernest. 


Two of the most beautiful girls in the horror world, and they are both amazing in it. A great twist on the werewolf genre. 


Growing up on the show, I was beyond excited for the film. They riff a classic, so it's fun no matter what. It always weirds me out to see it in such high quality though. 


One of the few shorts that I would consider a favorite. Anger was a crazy bastard, but pretty much anything he makes, I can't look away from. 


A staple in high school. It also taught everyone a very important lesson. BOC only wrote Don't Fear The Reaper to find out who their pussy fans were. Bring on the bitches. 


I am always impressed when someone can make a movie so long, and have me want to watch it over and over, without boredom. Scorsese has always been one of my favorites, and this is one of his last films I love more than my own family, or at least close. 

Sure, most of it is just flashbacks from the first, but all of the new footage is so fucking perfect. His eyebrows should have won an Oscar. 


People love to give Uwe Boll shit. A sentiment I don't understand. I still stand by him being a misunderstood genius. This is really when he started to shine in my eyes. I honestly think this is one of the funniest films ever produced. 


I love the desolate empty feeling Stanley creates. Some great kills as well. 
My favorite of the trilogy. Babyland lyrics on the wall, a great cast, and was such a staple for me in the nineties. 

We started off our fifty days of horror with this, as it was released on Set 12th. It was a fifty day horror marathon, that started with a bang. A perfect blend of comedy, gore, absurdity, and beautiful ladies. Also, Pancakes!


I never imagined that this would turn out as funny as it did. It is hard for me to breath while this is playing. On top of that, it kicks up the nostalgia like a mother fucker. Ending with Soul Asylum took me back. 


Another one, where I prefer the sequel. This took everything that was great about the original, and multiplied it into one crazy ass critter  ball. A must watch on  Easter, and the Playboy Bunny bounty hunter is super sexy. 


So good, and so gory. The malfunctioning scene in the board room is so amazing. Pretty much a perfect film. 


I love watching peoples decent into madness. Especially when it is someone as beautiful as her. Score is amazing as well. 


Funny, smart, and amazing. I watch this about twice a year, and have been since I first saw it. 


A classic for a reason. Nothing I can say, you don't already know. 


Left turns happen about every seven minutes in this. That may be a bit of an exaggeration, but still. So beautiful, and twisted.


I am instantly hooked every time this is on. Best hair ever. 


I love that Cannibal Holocaust is not Deodato's most fucked up film. This is on the verge of being too much for even me. It also has the longest shower scene in history.