Night of the Scarecrowp- Jeff Burr

     Not to be confused with the classic made for TV movie from the 70's this is however in its own right a classic.  I use the term classic very loosely, perhaps even as loose as that missing boy that was found in the trunk of the popes Cadillac.
     Lets see here, there is a town, and a scarecrow that kinda looks like Sam from Trick r Treat caused ruckus. This guy is a bad ass, he sews a priests lips shut. I am assuming to keep him from all the unwanted rim jobs he received as a child. Who am I to judge though?  Seriously though this movie is so fucking bad ass.  It makes me wanna rape baby: secret of the lost legend till her butt hole bleeds more than Jesus that time he had Ebola.
     Jeff Bur as I have said before is the king of sequels. This guy has made more sequels than Hitler has filled ashtrays. This is one of his few stand alone movies and it for some reason has never been given the DVD treatment. It is an unjust world we live in.  Fuckholes like Ron Howard and Stephen Spielberg get to keep making movies and movies like this stay locked in the stone ages with VHS.  
     This was watched back during the epic 50 days of horror I participated in back in 2004 and had the best review written for it by the grimace but unfortunately that was lost along with all the other reviews in the great flood of 04.  When I say flood of 04 I mean the time I woke up in my trailer in the heart of winter to water spraying me out of a frozen pipe which covered me and all my clothes among other things including the stack of notebooks with 1000's of reviews in ice cold water and left me sitting on the porch in a trailer court in my underwear with snow falling on ceders, and by ceders I mean my exposed balls. 
     I think I have lost focus, probably because I have had more spider bites than William Shattner did in Kingdom of the Spiders.  Watch this it is part awesome, part awful and all fun.


3/5


Tromeric


Gabe Nye lets do this. 

     It had been a good six years or so since the last time I watched this movie, and I had some pretty fond memories of it. Sure I was drunk when I watched it, and it was in the midst of a horror marathon that lasted for 50 days, but it really stuck out as a winner to me at the time. So, what do I think now? Well, I’m still drunk, but I’d have to say that this movie fucking rules. I really can’t believe how few people I’ve talked to have even heard of this one, let alone watched it. It’s an instant classic. Tits, cool death scenes, and motherfuckin’ Stephen Root. That’s right; Milton from office space is the town sheriff. How can you go wrong with that? Seriously though, this movie really deserves to have a big cult following. It’s tons of fun. Plus, it’s on Netflix instant streaming, so you’ve got no excuse not to catch up on this forgotten gem from a time when good horror movies were few and far between. (the 90’s, natch).

4/5

Gabe Nye the Science Guy