49 Days of Horror: VonKlingele's weekend

Well things have been a little crazy in my neck of the woods lately, but I thought I'd throw together a couple of quick reviews for some newer movies I managed to catch over the weekend while I was at the House of Grog.

Lords of Salem
Director: Rob Zombie

This is a movie I've been really anxious to see.  A lot of Zombie's films are hit and miss for me, but the second Halloween really gave me hope that he was finding his groove.  It was a movie that I really enjoyed, despite the fact that I really didn't care for the first one.  Well Lords is exactly what I was hoping for.  It's an original story, though admittedly weak in that department at times, and doesn't just rely on shock or familiarity to entertain.  This movie is beautiful to look at and mesmerizing  to watch.  Even when the story slowed down or lost it's way I couldn't take my eyes and ears off the screen.  It really gave me hope that Zombie is going to turn into someone who makes movies, not really long music videos.  This is one that will definitely be going in the collection at some point soon.

4/5

Maniac (2012)
Director: Franck Khalfoun

Much like Tromeric I really wanted to hate this movie.  The original is one of the few grindhouse style movies that I really consider a great movie.  Most of them I find fairly boring, but Maniac always rose above the pack, with a raw, dark story to tell.  The only thing that gave me hope for this new one, was Elijah Wood.  He's an actor that has really grown on me over the last few years and he just straight kills it in this.  A lot of that is due to the incredible use of first person.  I really wasn't looking forward to sitting through a bunch a shaky unwatchable camera work, but the end result is a smooth, floating camera that bring you right into the world of the killer and aids in the suspension of disbelief that Frodo could straight kill a bitch.  The movie has an unsettling atmosphere and implicates you in everything that's happening and really makes Wood's character well rounded and relatable in a very uneasy way.  From the cinematography, to the music, to the well done, visceral gore  everything just works, as much as I didn't want it to.  As a side note, I love this score and had been listening to it for about a month before I'd even seen the movie, I can't recommend it enough.

3.5/5

This is the End
Director: Evan Goldberg & Seth Rogen

Holy shit, I don't even know where to begin.  This is one of those rare comedies that actually lives up to the hype.  I kept hearing all this talk of how amazing it was, and it totally delivers.  This is a movie that will end up being a classic that's remembered and quoted for years to come.  Everything works from the set up, to the endless barrage of jokes that rarely miss, the slightly skewed characters, the apocalyptic story it becomes, and the little bits of genuine emotion sprinkled through out.  Bottom line, I laughed my ass off start to finish and can't wait to watch it again and catch everything I missed while I was pissing my pants with laughter.

4/5

49 Days of Horror: Week Two

Not quite going at the pace I wish I was. This week was pretty full of awesome things. Jacob VonKlingele came to town and we hit up a comicon. Had some sweet scores while we were there. We also did some VHS hunting around Portland. It was nice to be able to watch a couple films with us in the same city. Now if I could just get the rest of the participants in the same room for a day. I of course had work getting in the way, but still managed to rock about twenty films the second week.

Prince of Darkness

Holy shit! This movie kills me. The intro is so amazing. I love how long it takes for the opening credits to roll while intermittently setting up the story. Like all of Carpenter's films the music is a  main character. This has to be one of his best scores. The effects are perfect, and it is so full of atmosphere I expect it to put out some mediocre albums in its later years. Alice Cooper was great, and his song Prince of Darkness is a favorite from my childhood.

5/5

Rocktober Blood

Starts off with an amazing song. Then bitches be getting killed. This is full of amazing acting and the script. Wow. Not perfect, but full of enough awesome that I can't help but love it. Love ya Rainbow Eyes.

3.5/5

The Lords of Salem

One of the prettiest movies in years. Sheri Moon is so sexy. She loves goats. The music is haunting and awesome. The story may be lacking, but the atmosphere and style more than make up for it. I have watched this at least ten times since it came out a few months ago. Still high in the running for best film of the year for me.

Satan! Come to us!

5/5

Maniac(2012)

I would give anything to hate this. I hate how much I liked it. Maniac is one of my favorites of all time, I assumed the worst for this. I mean what does Elijah Wood have on Joe Spinell? Well nothing, but he does kill it in this. The intro is great, the music is goddamn amazing, and the first person angle works really well. They nailed it. I love it, it doesn't feel shaky or annoying, and when they zoom out the few times they do, it is beautiful. The homages to the original are done in clever ways, without taking you out of the story. Damn I really liked this. Fuck!

4/5

Zombie

Fulci is a god. This is one of his best. The music is epic, the gore never lets up. The splinter scene is still amazingly effective to this day, and who the hell can forget Zombie vs Shark? I mean it's in Windows commercials, and Seth Rogen movies for Christs sake.

5/5

Street Trash

The original melt. This is so slimy and awesome. I wish I had a bottle of Tenefly Viper. Sure, it would suck to kill someone, but watching them melt into an awesome explosion of color and foam would be worth it.

5/5

The Crow

I remember vividly when this came out. It may have suffered some aging, but overall it holds up pretty well. I met James O Barr once, he was as crazy as I expected.

4/5

The Crow: Wicked Prayer

I love this movie. I know I am one of the few. In my opinion it is the only sequel worth while. It is so bat shit insane I can't help but love it. I love how over the top it is. It basically makes fun of what the crow became. They only eat things like devil's food cake. Dennis Hopper is so good as the jive talking pimp, Danny Trejo is bad ass and does an amazing dance to bring the crow back, and I don't feel as guilty thinking the girl from "Snow Day" is sexy as I did in
"Snow Day."  "Quoth the raven nevermore, mother fucker."

3.5/5

Nightmares In Red White And Blue

A great doc on the history of American horror. Lance Henricksen is the narrator, and he nails it. Not perfect, but a fun, interesting, informative documentary.

3.5/5

American Grindhouse

A trip down memory lane. I was just a hair to young to really take advantage of the Grindhouse days, but have always loved the films that came out of the time. Robert Forster is a great narrator, and it is full of great interviews.

3.5/5

Curse of Chucky

A lot more fun than I ever expected. The effects are great, there is hardly any CGI, and it ties all the movies together. Still shocked how much I liked this one.

3.5/5

Heartstoppers

A pretty basic made for TV doc. It is basically trivia and clips. There are some good interviews, and the cryptkeeper does bumpers for the commercial breaks.

2.5/5

Video Nasties: Moral Panic, Censorship & Videotape

This is a great doc from a four disc set that has about 7 hours of trailers and special features. I have watched it all more than once, but this time just checked the excellent doc by Jake West. Great interviews, and gives you a full history lesson in the nasty. Opening is great with a graveyard full of all 72 films buried while The Damned plays in the background.

4/5

Cujo

One of the King classics. Has that feel I love and grew up on. The dog is so bad ass. At the beginning I just want to hang out with it. I assume he is related to Beethoven. Then once he goes rabid I peed my pants a bit.

3.5/5

The Frighteners

Peter Jackson's last great film. Sure it's not quite as good as his gore opus', but it is a lot of fun. The effects are pretty solid for the era it came out. Michael J. Fox rules. Jake Busey is bad ass, and it is all around a fun ride.

4/5

Creepers

This is the American cut of Argento's "Phenomena." It is a bit shorter, but still has most of the important stuff. The gore and atmosphere are the main characters, as they are in most of Argento's films. The insects rule. Goblin's score is amazing, but it is also full of amazing metal. The finale is one of my favorite of his films.

4/5

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre

What can I say? This is a perfect film. It is one of the reasons I am into horror, and it has never lost it's edge.


5/5

Faces of Death IV

A staple of my childhood. The intro is cheesy as hell, the host is hilarious, and the reenactments are some of the lamest. I love it. Fun to grab a brew and put on late at night.

2.5/5

Puppet Master


Very few things remind me of how awesome my childhood was as a Full Moon movie, specifically the "Puppet Master" films. This is a great way to start the series. The puppets all rule.The music takes me to my happy place, and the kills are excellent.

4.5/5








Well, there is week two. I will try and get some goodies this week.


- Tromeric

Curse of Chucky- Don Mancini

I have always been a fan of Chucky. I saw the first couple in the theater when I hadn't even reached double digits in age. Over the years each sequel got more and more goofy. I was not against this. I actually really enjoyed Bride and Seed, but they definitely had changed tonally, as do most sequels. When I got the first info about Curse it was stated that it was going back to a more serious tone like the first. This intrigued me, but also worried me. Could it work? I watched the trailer and was not that interested. It looked like it was gonna be another straight to DVD sequel that had lost touch with the rest of the series, granted the rest of the series had already lost touch with previous entries, so there's that. Well I decided to give it a go anyways and was more than pleasantly surprised. 

It starts off with a great intro that sets up the tone and story perfectly. You're in a big old mansion that kind of feels off. You meet Nica played pretty brilliantly by Fiona Dourif, daughter of Chucky himself, Brad Dourif. She receives a package, that of course ends up being a good guy doll. You know shit is going to get real now, and it does.

To say I had reservations about this would be an understatement, but luckily most of them quickly disappeared as I watched the film unfold. I had assumed it would be full of ridiculous CGI, especially when Chucky was involved. That  was not the case. Chucky still had that look when he moved, you know the way  a mother fucking puppet would move. The music is solid. It really helped the story and the atmosphere. Mancini managed to build quite a bit of tension in this. There is a scene where the family is having dinner and the food may or may not of been poisoned that had me squirming quite a bit. The pace is pretty great throughout, there are a couple points in the middle that kind of lose the flow, but it quickly picks back up.

Tony Gardner came back for the effects and Christ are they awesome. As with Chucky, you will find very little CGI here. Practical effects the plenty, and some of the gore is top notch. There is a scene involving a car accident that has a beheading that would make the crew on "Twilight Zone:The Movie" cringe.

This is not a perfect movie. There are flaws and parts that are a bit off, but for being a sequel in a series over twenty years old it stands up surprisingly well. The kills are fun, the music is great, and if you're a fan of the series there are plenty of moments that will remind you of the previous entries, as well as tie up the entire series.

One last word of advice. Stay through the credits. You will be glad you did.

3.5/5

-Tromeric 

49 Days of Horror: The First 6 Days(Tromeric)

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VonKlingele's 49 Days: Hellgate

 

 

Welcome to my 49 days of horror.  When Tromeric told me he was firing up the 49 days again I was very excited.  The last 49 days of horror was where my love of shitty, random horror movies comes from.  I was introduced to so many movies I'd never even heard of and some of them became fast favorites that I still love today, Chopping Mall and Ghoulies 3 I'm looking at you, so it holds an important place in my life.  I'm hoping to keep that spirit of discovery alive and well this time around.  On to the reviews.

 

Hellgate

1990

Dir: William A. Levey

 

My main theme with a lot of these reviews is going to be first time viewings for me, mostly on VHS.  One of the main reasons I got back into collecting VHS again was to find those forgotten gems, or turds, that I haven't seen yet and experience them for the first time on VHS.  I've been pretty burned out on the state of modern horror, so it's time to go back to the "classics" as it was.

 

First up is Hellgate, for the special effects wizard behind the first two Hellraiser movies.  At least that's what the box art tells me repeatedly when ever it has the chance.  It's the classic story of  a starry eyed young girl kidnapped by the most random assortment of bikers I've ever seen.  A side note on the kidnapping, she's taken from a small town diner with people inside and outside and there is literally zero effort from anyone around to stop it.  It's clear the bikers intend to have their way with her, what with ripping off her dress in the middle of said diner, and yet no one even mumbles "stop" under their breath or anything, it's ridiculous.  OK, back on track, through a series of things happening that include hatchet throwing and some kind of razor chains or something our lovely lady is killed. She's then brought back to life by her mourning father, who keeps softcore porn glamour shots of his dead daughter in his study,  with the help of a magic crystal that shoots laser beams, which seems to have turned her dress into wet tissue paper so you can see her nipples in every scene for the rest of the movie.

 

  They set up this as being a ghost story about the hitchiking lady in white that lures her victims to an untimely demise.  When in reality she just kind flashes her tits around and gives Horschack from Welcome Back Kotter some serious blue balls. The real action in the movie comes from the aforementioned crystal.  The dad goes around shooting shit with it and creating mutant exploding goldfish and other random stuff, including some horrible looking zombies.  Then some shit happens and people do some things, it's really not important, believe me.

  One final thing before I sum this up.  If you're going to plaster the fact that the guy directing your movie is some special effects guru then maybe make sure your movie isn't full of laughably bad effects.  This movie sports one of the worst fake bats this side of Suspiria and my god the zombies look like shit.  Now, don't get me wrong I love shitty effects and that bat made me giggle like a school girl, but just don't draw attention to yourself is all I'm saying.

   All in all this movie was pretty fun.  Not good mind you, but a fun watch.  There's lots o boobies, some good unintentional laughs, and you get to see more of Horshack's ass than you ever wanted.  The plot is shit, and doesn't make a lot of sense and the acting is pretty mediocre, but you need to at least see the mutated exploding goldfish.

 

-Jacob VonKlingele

 

Rating 2/5

 

 

Jeremy Loves The Asylum And Wants To Give You A Poster To Prove It

 Jeremy from Critters and Gods stopped by to talk about The Asylum, and show off some new posters he has made based off their films. He also is going to give away a print of one of them. Make sure after you read the article to check the bottom for info on how to enter one of the great pieces you see throughout this article.

 

The first Asylum film I ever saw was “100 Feet.” A decent ghost story, relatively well produced and cast, nothing remarkable but certainly not horrible. The last Asylum film I attempted to watch was “American Battleship.” A “mockbuster” or “tie in” to the at least equally horrible mega budget “Battleship.” The “mockbuster” has become Asylum's bread and butter much to the chagrin of certain megalomaniac movie producers. I jumped on the Asylum hate wagon at first. With shameless titles like “Transmorphers” or “Battle of Los Angeles” the studio's stock and trade seemed to be out and out plagiarism or whatever the fuck the film equivalent of that is. And Asylum was taken to task and court numerous times for their new found business practice. And I wrote them off, even when they started doing equally horrible but entertaining creature movies for Sci-Fi. I've never been able to get through one of these movies on my own but a couple years ago, at the behest of Tromeric I gave a shot at a drawing inspired by the Asylum creature flick “Two-Headed Shark Attack.” So I doodled my version of a two-headed shark and made a crappy little poster and sent it to Eric. I got the best response I'd ever gotten from anything I'd ever drawn, granted I'd only been drawing for about a year or so at that point, but it was still exciting. Then one afternoon Eric let me know that David Michael Latt had shared my drawing on the Asylum Facebook page and then Cleve Hall (Monster Man and creator of the Two-Headed shark) followed suit. At this point I was also very new to social media so I really had no idea how little all of this actually meant but fuck it, it was exciting and I learned a lot. I made a few shirts and tried to sell them, did posters and contests and on and on. And all the while Latt and Asylum were tweeting and sharing stuff about it. I liked that instead of having to worry about getting a cease and desist letter or something, the company that created the monster I was making weed money from was actually encouraging me and sharing it. So I got a little more curious about Asylum. I learned a bit more about their business model, history, and very quickly realized that they were certainly not the first to apply this model. It looks slightly different because of the social media component that inflates a lot of the entertainment industry and because of the kind of cultural dark ages they happen to be doing business in but Aylum is cut from the same cloth as a Corman, a Yuzna, or a Band. Here are the four reasons I stopped worrying and learned to love Asylum. 

1. The Crazies, The Ring, Evil Dead, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Grudge, Fright Night, Repo-Men, Piranha, etc. etc. Those films are not original. They are remakes of movies. Most of which weren't original. Repo-Men was shameless and big budget, big star rip off. Piranha was one of the first “mockbusters” riding the Jaws wake of success and they remade it. Its fucking awesome too. But the point is we live in one of the least original times in American history. Everything, even beyond the genre films, is a remake or a tie in or just a plain rip off these days. And anything that attempts to be original is usually a heavy handed flop. This doesn't mean that there can't be good movies, good story telling, and good horror, its just not exactly appropriate for anyone to be making a fuss over the idea of “original material.” We will crawl our way out of this artistic wasteland eventually but at this point the consumer is calling the shots whether we want to or not. The movie industry is at a sycophantic peak. The internet has made it possible for companies to accommodate our taste in a very specific way and react fads and the opinions of fan boys on the fly. We are getting exactly the kind of movies we deserve. Asylum just does it cheap and always makes money and that makes a lot of people angry. I have no problem with people who don't like cheesy low budget genre movies. But diluting oneself into believing that these movies somehow leech from some kind of pure original Hollywood essence is fucking stupid.
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
2. The film industry is an industry. Movies are not high art by default. There are definitely films that are more intentionally artful or pretentious or whatever but “John Carter” is not a piece of art. Movies exist to make money. And they make plenty of money. Hollywood exists because of American capitalism. They have always and will always been about making money. Anyone who tells you differently wants you to buy a ticket. That doesn't mean its not wonderful and magical and all that shit but if you honestly think that anyone, especially at this point, cares about artistic integrity in Hollywood you need to watch more movies. My second reason for giving Asylum a chance and taking time to do a few posters for some of my favorite Asylum titles is how blunt Michael Latt has been about how his company does business and their intentions. Its entertainment. And not in some like Gladiator “Are you entertained!?” kinda way. Its just fun and stupid. They make movies that people can get together get trashed and make fun of. And more and more they are making great cheesy creature movies.
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
3. My third reason is more about me than about the movies. The posters. As an artist I am an amateur and a total outsider. I've done a few fan movie posters and they are lots of fun and good practice. But with main stream movies there is always a danger of copying an element of someone else's design by accident, so i've always tried to do more obscure movies. Asylum's movies are perfect because they have great titles like “Nazis at the Center of the Earth” or “Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus” and are rarely the subject of the hipster horror poster trend. They may not be ground breaking films or anything but they provide raw exciting horror and science fiction imagery that is easy to run with. And with computer technology and printing so cheap and easy these days, turning doodles into things that look more like movie posters is not that hard to do. In Corman's heyday the movie poster for the genre film was often better than the film itself. The images are what survives of these movies. A few frames, a distinctive lobby card or poster. That doesn't make them unimportant films but the art associated with films is just as important and interesting. With the Asylum films I look at it the same way. The movies might not be good or even watchable but if I can draw something kinda cool just by reading the title of a movie or watching a trailer why not. At base its fun and I think that is the whole point of what Asylum does, especially for Sci-Fi Channel. For people to have fun watching bad horror movies the way they have for decades. I may not sit through every Asylum movie but I always appreciate the absurd chimeras they churn out. 
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
4. Who fucking cares. At the end of the day, what does it matter if a few fledgling companies ride the waves of the horrible blockbuster spectacles. If you really saw the cover for and rented “Transmorphers” thinking that you were really getting the mega-budget “Transformers” then I have an important offer for you. I am Nephew of Royal Prince of house of Zimbabwe. I have inherited 3 million and will give %70 Euro and need small American investment to act as a third party in order to broker out of country.

The point of all this is I made some posters for some Asylum movies and encourage other artists to do the same. If not for Asylum then for movies that nobody cares about. Find a crap movie with a great title or great scene and do something with it. There are fantastic images hidden all over.

The creatures Asylum is creating will resound in our culture consciousness for a long time. We'll get out of this remake wasteland eventually and back to solid well crafted horror stories but until we do there will be folks like the good people at the Asylum. Churning out movies as fast as we can demand them. Instead of looking at them as some kind of Lamprey eel, in the grand scheme of Hollywood nonsense they're really more like Pilot Fish. Remember Roger Corman eventually won an Oscar

- Jeremy Gaulkenstein

11 x 17

  13" x 19"

10.25" x 18

   

To win your choice of one of the three posters you have seen just go here and like the APEP Facebook page. Then either leave a comment, or email goreandgrog@gmail.com telling us what your favorite movie poster of all time is. Include which of the 3 you would like if you win, and a way to get a hold of you.  It is that easy. On the 27th of September I will put all entries in and randomly draw a winner.


* Sharknado and Nazis At The Center Of The Earth will be matte prints, while the 2 Headed Shark will be on sketch paper.