I Spill Your Guts- James Balsamo

Look at that poster. Makes me feel like I am in a video store in 1988. I would have seen this, and I would of rented the shit out of it. After watching "I Spill Your Guts" I feel like I did go back to 88 and sneak this shit out of Video City.

Two war vets return home. One is liar, and one is almost dead. Well, he wants to stop the liar so he becomes less almost dead and starts killing the shit out of people.

The intro is a little long. Lots of definitions that I knew prior to having them put on screen for me, granted I was pretty intoxicated so maybe I did need them. Some clips are played along that made me feel like I was watching Cinemax back in middle school. Just blurry and shaky, but I am pretty sure I saw some boobs.

My rambling does mean something. "I Spill Your Guts" captures the feel of the eighties shot on video films I used to devour. It is not life changing, but it is fun as shit. It is filled with references to serial killers, horror films, and plenty of other nostalgia. It has some great cameos including Carmine Capobianco, Joe Fleishaker, Tim Ritter, Lloyd Kaufman, Dave Brockie, Andrew W.K., Lynn Lowery, Joel Reed, Jeff Zornow, and many, many more. It has an insane soundtrack that can be off putting at points, but works more for the film than against it. I mean Blood Freak, F.K.U., Ghoul, Impetigo, and Fondlecorpse, and that is such a tiny percentage of the bands on this bad boy.

It may not be a masterpiece, but one thing is evident. James Balsamo understands his fans. Sure the sound may change when it shouldn't, the actors may look at the camera from time to time, but he never takes you as a fool. The blood flows like a post pubescent girl who just ate a bottle of aspirin and the jokes fly at you like watermelon at a Gallagher show. If you miss the times of when names like Tim Ritter, Buddy Giovinazzo, Wally Koz, and  Kirk Alex shined at your video store, get some grog, and spill your guts. 

3/5

- Tromeric  

Berberian Sound Studio- Peter Strickland

A sound engineer heads to Italy to  help with a new film, Shit happens, and shit gets real. That is all the plot you need for this. Not that there isn't more to it, just it doesn't matter. The atmosphere here is so strong that it time traveled back to the eighties so Ian Curtis could write a Joy Division song about it.

Right away you know what kind of film this is. It bleeds awesome and uncomfortable blood. The intro sucks you in and doesn't let you go till the end. I mean the majority of this movie is a dude recording sounds into mikes and I didn't want it to end. That should have its own Oscar right there.

I keep hearing this compared to "Amer," and tonally I can see it. I, however think of it more as "A Serbian Film" with out the NBP. It made me just as awkward, and the pacing of the reveals to the titular character were similar.  I couldn't help but also see a little "Pontypool" in there as well, at least as far as most of it having to do with sound and taking place in a studio. I don't want to give off the wrong idea, in the end this is super original, and like nothing you have ever seen. Nothing really happens, but you won't leave bored.

4.5

-Tromeric

American Mary- The Soska Sisters

Mary is brilliantly played by Kathrine Isabelle, she is in med school, but can't keep up on bills so she applies at a strip club. While she is there she is asked to help with an emergency surgery. She is down for the quick money, so she sets her morals aside and does what needs to be done. She gets her cash and gets out. That should be the end right? Well it would be if it wasn't for Betty Boop who shows up as she has heard about her skills. Her desire for money sends Mary down the path of back room surgeries in the body modification world.

This movie is shot beautifully, like Versace. The sound and effects are amazing. The acting overall is great, and the story keeps you hooked like a cement brick from a customer at Obscura's balls. Kathrine Isabelle owns this shit. I loved her in "Ginger Snaps" but this is her Travis Bickle.

I liked the twins previous effort, but this cements them as directors I need to watch, you know, outside of the super sexy thing. This sets them apart, as badasses who are capable of challenging the norm of horror cinema. They, along with Isabelle have created a world that is part Cronenberg, and part Frankenstein. It is uncomfortable, but I still want to spend time there.

4/5

-Tromeric

The ABCs of Death- Various

Anthology films are not an easy task. In the eighties there were some greats like Creepshow one and two, The Willies, and the Tales from the Darkside movie. More recently there has been The Theatre Bizarre, which I loved, but I seem to be in the minority, and Trick r' Treat which is not even quite an anthology as a wrap around. This is like those times a thousand. There are twenty six segemnets, as well as twenty six directors. That is a lot of chances to fuck up, which I find to be the most dangerous part of anthology films.

I wish I could tell you that this is as awesome as it could be with the directors involved. Unfortunately that would be like the time I told that girl I met at the bar that I loved her. A lie.

There are twenty six segments. I kept track and only about have of those are awesome, most are mediocre, and a few are terrible. The thing is, that is fine. With so many, even if one is bad, it doesn't last long and then we're on to a good one.

Some highlights would be farting Asians, plushy Nazis, baby killing robots, the best head slam dunk scene since "Night of the Dribbler,"  and that is not to mention all the awesome claymation, animation, and molestation that is mostly killer. This is no masterpiece, but the percentage is pretty reasonable for awesome to garbage. Some of the modern masters are involved and it is a must see for that. Don't expect it to change your life, but for multiple reasons it is required viewing for horror fans. At least once.

3/5

-Tromeric

John Dies at the End- Don Coscarelli

"Phantasm" has owned me longer than Quentin has owned Eli. I think Don Coscarelli is a fucking genius. "Bubba Ho Tep" killed me, and I loved his "Masters of Horror episode." This should all go without saying, but I want to say it. Needless to say, when I heard that he was making a movie out of a book by the Cracked editor I shit in my pants. Well, after three years of my pants being filled with shit, excitement shit, not the gross kind....I finally got to see this bad boy, and I saw it a few times.

David and John find a drug called soy sauce. It makes them be able to travel inter dimension and talk through bratwursts. That is about all you need to know plot wise.

This book was said to be unfilmable. well, fuck you naysayers. Right from the brilliant intro I was gripped like a thirteen year old to Roman Polanski's dick. It took seconds for me to be hooked. Then it was ninety minutes of awesome. Traveling to different dimensions, driving dogs, sexy amputees, talking sausages, meatman that aren't a punk band, and just an amazing cast and story.

This is what horror films should be trying to accomplish. It may not be perfect, there are a few scenes of CG that were pretty terrible, but you could tell that they tried to use as much practical as possible. I have now seen this five times, once being on the big screen and I already know it will be a fave of mine for the rest of my life. The acting is great, the music is great, the story is unique, and it is not a remake or a sequel, it is not like anything out there, and that makes me happier than a juggalo in a faygo factory that also has a meth dealer. That is happy in case you were wondering. Seek this movie out.

5/5

-Tromeric

It's Contest Time Again

Got something a little different this time. A cassette soundtrack to the film "The Bunny Game." One of my personal favorites of recent times, but not everyone's cup of tea by any means. I got myself one of these, and had an extra so I figured why not share one with you guys? Here is the description from Rising Beast Records.

"THE BUNNY GAME is an indie horror film and the debut of writer/director Adam Rehmeier. This brilliant but controversial film has been banned in the UK but just saw a wide release on DVD and Blu-ray after premiering at numerous festivals and screenings around the world. The film stars Rodleen Getsic (who also co-wrote the film) as a down-and-out prostitute turning tricks in downtown LA. Her daily routine is depicted with an unflinching and unwavering starkness, a detached yet voyeuristic glimpse into a brutal form of existence. Despair turns into savagery and madness once she is picked up by a trucker (Jeff Renfro), who takes her captive and subjects her to series of increasingly bizarre forms of physical and emotional torture.
Rising Beast Recordings is proud to present the official soundtrack release of THE BUNNY GAME. This all-new auditory experience was arranged, edited and sequenced by director Adam Rehmeier just for this release. 60 minutes of music from the film, expanded and seamlessly blended for a sonic journey that is cinematic in scope. Score by Adam Rehmeier. Includes songs by HARASSOR and additional score by James Brown III. Limited edition of 200 copies. Pro-duplicated cassettes with pro-printed folding j-card inserts"

All you have to do to win this bad boy is leave a comment here with your name/email, and tell me your favorite subversive/shock/extreme film. I will draw a name on February 13th.