Guts and Grog Tooned Up

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Blood on the Highway- Barak Epstein/Blair Rowan

So I went into this with very low expectations, I sift through a lot of shit and its safe to assume most of it is gonna suck Jesus balls.  So like many other days I grabbed my drank put in the disc and expected to be bored and downing my half gallon of Evan Williams to survive. Within minutes i heard lines such as "I'm gonna kick your balls right out your twat boy" and " not even vomit could tarnish that sweet ass."  With these great lines, dumb ass characters and massive amounts of gore within the first few minutes I was willing to give this cheese fest a shot.  The lines continued to crack my shit up, at first I was writing them all down but within ten minutes I realized that I didn't have the patience as they were as common as a 10 year old's smegma on the popes shaft.  This movie is by no means perfect or even close, it is however a fun ride full of blood, vampires, Nicholas Brendon, horror punk, Tom Towels, hillbillies, Attempted Bro Rape, and some of the most offensive hilarious dialogue this side of a Giuseppe Andrews film. Think Sundown date rapes Dead and Breakfast and 2000 Maniacs shows up and aborts the baby they made.  If you want quality cinema I wouldn't necessarily recommend this but if you wanna get fucked up and do fucked up things grab this disc take a few shots and have some mother fucking fun.



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