Dear God No!- James Bickert

    I was a bit leery going into this. I mean the poster is bad fucking ass and I love sleaze/bikers/rape(only when it's nuns, relax)/and blasphemy but the trailer while looking awesome was a bit off putting. I still of course had to go see it when I saw that we had it playing at Portland's own grindhouse The Clinton Street Theater, plus through my years of movie watching one of the many lessons I have learned is trailers usually mean about as much to me as I did to my dad. I love trailers, let me be clear. What I am saying is I have seen some of the best trailers in the world and been bored out of my fucking head with the film or vice versa, not the one with Judge Reinhold but the saying. Well I am happy to report that the trailer, like the those crazy family radio people, was wrong.

     The movie starts off with our rapist of rapists waking up and cunt punting a nun. Well James Bickert definitely knows how to start a movie.  The opening credits that follow are fun and reminiscent of many of the old biker films such as Pyschomania and Werewolves on Wheels. This is just the opening people. The rest of the film if full of awesome that you just have to see with your own eyes.

      Dear God No! has more blasphemy than the Satanic Bible, more PBR than Portland, more freeze frames than  The J. Geils Band, more rape than a bro down, more badassary than you can put on paper. John Waters got together with Russ Meyer and raped Michel Levesque while Herschell Gordon Lewis watched, jerked off and ordered Roger Corman off to the corner to sacrifice a virgin Doris Wishman to summon the dark lord to face fuck Jesus. 

   

4/5

Tromeric