Attack the Block- Joe Cornish

       The Green Street Hooligans vs Manbearpig.  Seriously the creatures looked like gorillas in the mist fucked a crite and that baby ate a raver kid.  That gets me to one of my only complaints. Their fucking mouths.  They were so CGI it was fuckdiculous. The aliens weren't the best thing I have ever seen but they were pretty bad ass till they opened the stupid mouths.  Since I got the complaint out of the way lets get into why this movie kicked me in my pregnant stomach.
     The Kids were bad ass to the core of the earth. I would not fuck with these kids and I was already buying my own cigarettes when they were born. They were tuff as nails and believable to boot. With out over explanation you got that they had some fucked up lives and banded together to take care of each other. Sure they were involved in some shady shit but deep down inside they were brothers at arms. 
      The story.  It got started right away.  It was like going on a date and sticking your hand up a girls skirt before she has told you here name.  What I mean is it was my kind of date.  The thing is this girl didn't push you away. She was into it and for the next ninety minutes you get to have wonderful filthy sex with her. 
     The gore. Bad ass.  There are some great scenes of faces being ripped apart, heads being tossed like a  beach ball at some shitty concert that Dave Matthews frequents. No Bro Rape though. Get your natty ice, your game cube and your roofies and watch these goonies talk some shit and kill some aliens.

4/5

Tromeric

The Deadly Spawn- Dougles Mckeown

     Giant penis alien monsters chew up bitches and devour young children. Its like a catholic preschool. One of my favorite films from the eighties, it has it all. Splatter bloody fun and gigantor nipples.
    


4.5/5


Tromeric

Super 8- J.J. Abrams

    I walked into the theater a thirty one year old bad ass and within minutes of Super 8 had reverted back to child.  I mean seriously, when I went in there that camp counselor(yeah that one) would want nothing to do with my ass but Super 8 turned me into a kid, I shrank right there and I was 12 again, dick and all .  The counselor would not of been able to resist me the entire time I was watching it. Just a twelve year old with a rocking boner.
    I am not going to give away anything. The trailer gives away the perfect amount and I will not be guilty of ruining this. I will just say a few things.  Yes the monster is bad ass. Its frightening and still feels human at points.  The acting is great. The effects are amazing. Its a coming of age movie that should of been made in the time it is set. I knew these kids. I rode my BMX bike to their house to talk/study/watch/make movies with them. It is Stand by Me meets Alien. Its Spaced Invaders meets Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Its The Monster Squad meets E.T.. Its The Goonies meets Predator.
     Everything is top notch in every way. Get a big ass tub of popcorn, some friends and sit back and enjoy two hours of epic bliss.  

4.5/5

Tromeric

Fire in the Sky- Robert Lieberman

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Night of the Creeps- Fred Dekker

Holy shit I love this movie. Mother Fucking Atkins is the man. So many amazing quotes. You have everything you could fucking want. Aliens, Zombies, Naked Bitches, Atkins, Nerds, Blood, Flame Thrower, Guns, K and B from KNB, Cool cars, The 80's. Ive decided to play a drinking game next time I watch this, take a shot every time they say creeps. Holy shit I will be fucked up, its like the Wild Zero drinking game, or the Flight of the living Dead one. What can I write that hasn't been said about this masterpiece. Its close to perfect. Stop being a bitch and go buy the recently released S.E. It will be the best thing you have done since you stop pissing the bed, although if you play the drinking game you may start that habit again.

5/5

Eric