Father's Day - Astron 6(Adam Brooks/Jeremy Gillespie/Matthew Kennedy/Conor Sweeney)

     Father's Day is one of those rare films that is about as hard to explain as pro-life is to a rape victim. So much happens in these hundred minutes that I am pretty sure Astron 6 just filled a baby up with ideas, ran it over with a semi, rolled it into a little baby ball and fed it to the manatees that write Family Guy. 
     Basic idea of Father's Day is that there is a dude who kind of looks like the Dr. from Human Centipede two raping, disemboweling and killing Fathers, and not necessarily in that order. A team assembles that includes a one eyed bad ass, a priest and David Arquette's  character from that Lukas Haas movie. Strippers, rapists, dirty cops, angels, demons(no Tom Hanks, thank god), and Lloyd Kaufman are just some of the obstacles they will have on their epic journey.
     Over the last few years there has been a kind of grindhouse resurgence and as with most things it has felt the kind of overkill that Sharon Tate's baby felt in 69. I am happy to say that Father's Day is one of the stand out's and like Dear God No! and Hobo with a Shotgun has a lot more going for it than just a gimmick. Father's Day stands on its own like a cripple in space even when listed next to those films.  It takes every convention set and stabs it in the butt hole in slow mo while a killer guitar riff is strummed.  Every time I thought I saw where it was going it would punch me in the dick and say "not this way fucker" which I admit is a strange thing for a movie to do. 
     All rambling aside when Father's Day hits your city or any city you can drive to, Go! Father's Day is offensive, surreal, hilarious, sexy, over the top, ridiculous, insane, full of amazing music and characters, brilliant, full of some of the most creative special effects and set designs, and it will have you asking your dad to play with your insides  while they're on your outside.

4/5


Tromeric

30 Day Horror Challenge day 9

     Day nine.  Grindhouse/Exploitation.  Lots of movies I could go with here as it is such a massive term but right away I knew where I was going.  When I think of exploitation I think of sick, vile, offensive and unforgiving.  Well I'm no mathlete but from what I can tell that equals the one that goes all the way. I am of course talking about.  

    This movie is repulsive.  You wanna talk about exploitative?   They exploited the grandaddy of all tortoises insides atop a bunch of natives who were probably getting paid in bark.  I am not glad about this. It sucks. With that said I fucking love this movie.  The music is one of the best things I have ever heard and watching a girl get rocked in the clam with such beautiful music is so off putting  that it circles back to beautiful. 

Tromeric

Hobo with a Shotgun- Jason Eisener

     Rutger Hauer is in it? Its called Hobo with a Shotgun? I'm in.  This was pretty much my response when I first found out about this and after watching it I stand by it.
     Hobo is basic. He gets mad, gets a gun and starts taking on the city of shit.  Crooked cops, crime bosses, that dude who made bum fights you name it he will shoot them in their mother fucking face. 
     The difference I see with this and a lot of the faux grind house movies that have come out in the last few years is it seems like it could of been made back in the 80's.  It's over the top as shit and by shit I mean it arm wrestles and drives a semi.  The effects all are very practical and gory and awesome, the lighting is very reminiscent of Argento and the music keeps you pumped. I think the whole movie was just one big montage of awesome. 
     Hobo wont change anything, it doesn't really bring anything new to the table but for pure shits and giggles and bad ass killers, lawnmowers, dead kids, hookers and Trailer Park Boys it has served it right up on a silver platter for your sick viewing pleasure. 


4/5                 

Tromeric 

Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers- Fred Olen Ray

So if the title doesn’t tell you how awesome this movie is you’re a fucking moron. You have Gunner Hansen back in a chainsaw movie leading a crazy cult, you have hookers and who doesn’t love hookers, you have Linnea Quigley butt ass naked(not that its shocking). My math skills are tight and that equals total badass destruction of awesomeness.

3/5

Eric