Mutant Girls Squad- Noboru Iguchi, Yoshihiro Nishimur, Tak Sakaguchi

     It's like X-Men with hot Asian girls who have chainsaws coming out of their asses and Belial looking faces in their stomachs and way less emo because its a bunch of girls instead of cyclops.
     This is the best of the Japanese Mutant movies.  I have enjoyed the majority of these but the choreography in this and the gore are top notch.  The pacing is the other thing, aside from a couple slow moments this just keeps flowing like Carrie White in the shower.  The girls are so sexy and fuck shit up.  One has a techno Freddy glove, one the arms of a squid and one is basically Black Swan.  Their Leader is a metro sexual who turns into a giant beast with huge tits and cleaver hands. Dead Alive anyone?  The battles are all super fucking bad ass and full of gore and fun. There is  a Visitor Q moment and they ride the I have no legs dude from Kids as if hes the magic carpet from Aladdin if powered by The Rocketeer.
     I do have one request Japan.  Stop it. You have been pumping out these mutant films at a ridiculous rate and I don't want to see it become like the creepy black haired kids movies you drove into the ground like the guy from that The Bridge movie.  Stop while your ahead this was a high note to end on and I don't ever wanna say "I hate those movies where the hot Japanese babe kill, get naked and shoot shit out their vaginas."  I would forever hate myself and it will be your fault.

4/5

Tromeric

Hausu- Nobuhiko Obayashi

     One time I beer bonged like a gallon of mushroom tea.  I saw some shit that made no sense.  It made my body and mind feel real funny like.  Don't know why but I kinda liked it.
      One time I watched a movie where some girls go to one girls dead aunts house and hang out with a cat named after a golden girl and disappear one by one. They do kung fu and sing and fly and talk a bunch of shit that makes little sense. Don't know why but I kinda liked it.
      These two stories are both true and made me feel the same way.  Hausu is insane, every time I watch it I say what the fuck more times than the last.  I have heard this described as an episode of Scooby Doo as directed by Mario Bava.  This is the best description of Hausu and I don't even feel like coming up with anything as this sums it up perfectly.


4/5

Tromeric



Gabe Nye slap your science on us.

     I honestly don’t have a fucking clue what happened in this movie. Sure, I’ve had a few drinks, but I don’t think any amount of sobriety would give me insight into this one. It’s insane, and has something to do with a haunted house and some Japanese schoolgirls, but that’s about all I can tell you plot-wise. What I can tell you is that it is ridiculous, over the top, cartoonish, hilarious, and just plain fun to watch. Miike must be a huge fan of this flick, that’s practically the only way to explain Happiness of the Katakuris and Visitor Q. Criterion just put out an awesome edition of this, and it’s well worth shelling out the cash for it.

5/5

 Gabe Nye the Science Guy