Carnage On Arrakis: Andy Champion Takes A Look At Dune

David Lynch is one of the greatest directors of all time. This man has created some of the most memorable films and television series that fans can’t get enough of. He takes you on journeys to places you never imagined you could go, and you never leave. His work stands the test of time, and can never be duplicated.

When I found out about David Lynch week here at Guts And Grog I immediately begged Tromeric for the chance to talk about my favorite Lynch film, and one of my favorite films of all time DUNE. So lets take this journey to Arrakis together.

This movie starts out on planet Kaitain, where the emperor is setting up plans to get rid of a well beloved Duke that could challenge him for the throne. He is joined by a Guild Navigator, these aliens are mutated by spice so they can control travel by bending space. We start to see Lynch set up the deceit by the emperor fueled by his jealousy of the Duke.

Now we travel to planet Caladan, home of Duke Leto Atreides and his son Paul. Soon we learn that Paul is trained to use a new fighting method, using words and sounds as a weapon.
The emperor has given control of a planet called Arrakis, the only planet that produces the spice the Guild need to bend space, to Duke Leto. The planet was once controlled by the Atreides’ sworn enemy, the Harkonnens. The Harkonnens are evil and disgusting, wanting to destroy the Duke and his son Paul. They soon reveal the secret plans they have to bring the downfall of House Atreides on planet Arrakis.

While on Arrakis, we see a threat by the appearance of the huge sandworms, who interfere with the harvesting of spice. The Atreides soon find out about the tribe of sandpeople called the Fremen. They have deep blue eyes and wear stillsuits that help them live in the dry desert. Of course traps are set to kill the Duke and Paul, but they never work. The Harkonnens’ secret plan takes action, and everything on Arrakis that Duke Leto had worked for is destroyed, along with house Atreides being brought down. Paul and his mother escape to the desert, and are taken in by the Fremen if they teach them how to fight with words and sounds. During this time the Harkonnens rule on Arrakis with fear. Now the betrayal, and corruption Lynch set up at the first of the film is complete. Paul starts to train the Fremen this new fighting style. Going out and stopping the harvesting of spice. His plan is to make all eyes look at Arrakis so the emperor must take action. The Baron Harkonnen and emperor come to Arrakis to try and contain the threat of the Fremen and Paul. It’s all out war with the Fremen riding in on sandworms and bringing the emperor and the Harkonnens down. Now we see the true power of Paul as he becomes the new emperor.

Lynch’s weaving of lies, betrayal, and corruption is awesome. He sets you up from the start and makes you watch it with intensity. Then how he sets up Paul’s rise and retribution is well crafted. You can feel how dry and desolate Lynch makes the desert feel, you want to drink something while watching. He has also assembled a cast that is incredible. Kyle MacLachlan, Patrick Stewart, Brad Dourif, Sting Max von Sydow to name a few. The soundtrack was composed by TOTO, and Brian Eno, it flows with the movie beautifully. This movie stands the test of time. The special effects, the story, everything is flawless. I know a lot of people don’t like it because it doesn’t follow the book completely  but that is what makes it David Lynch’s film. I watched the film first and it led me to reading the books.
If you want the whole story, go and watch the movie, if you love 80’s sci-fi you will adore this film.


I want to thank Tromeric again for letting me rant about one of my favorite movies.
If you want to find more of my ramblings visit me over at video-carnage.com.

Andy lives in South Carolina with his wife Ashley, and their two kids. He is a mechanic, and loves movies, video games, and collecting toys. You can check out his work on the blog video-carnage.com.

Jacob VonKlingele Sleeps One Off In A Hotel Room

Hotel Room is a three part miniseries produced by David Lynch.  Surprisingly it centers around a hotel room, number 603 in the Railroad Hotel, in New York through different periods in time.  With only the bell hop and the maid sticking around from episode to episode.  I think the opening narration really sums it all up,  "For a millennium the space for the hotel room existed – undefined. Mankind captured it and gave it shape and passed through. And sometimes when passing through, they found themselves brushing up against the secret names of truth.".  There that clears it all up right?
What's that, you still don't know what the hell the show is about, other than a room.  Well I'll try and clear that up for you with a couple of handy episode guides.

Episode 1: Tricks

The first one out of the gate is directed by Lynch, written by Barry Gifford, who wrote Wild at Heart and the screenplay for Lost Highway, and stars Harry Dean Stanton, so I'm already on board.  Set in 1969 the story kicks off with Moe(Stanton) showing up to the titular hotel room with a "lady of the night" named Darlene.  He acts awkward drinks some whiskey and then Lou shows up.  He's an old friend of Moe's, I guess, they never really say who he is or why he's there.  Moe isn't happy about it, probably because he didn't pay good money to watch an off duty department store Santa give his lady the ol' north pole.  While Moe and Lou argue about numerous different things, including someone named Phylicia.  Who I'm pretty sure is one of the two's wife or maybe both, I'm not sure. Darlene decides it's time to bust out some of the devil's lettuce and starts blazing.  Which, side note, is probably the best way to watch this show. After the most unenthusiastic cheerleading routine sloppy Santa gets a little whiskey buzz going and stuffs Darlene's stocking while Moe sits there and pouts.  After the two accuse Darlene of murder Lou and Darlene leave Moe to the aforementioned sulking.  Then the cops show up and arrest Moe, based mostly on the air tight evidence that he has Lou's wallet in his jacket pocket, for....murder!  And cut to black.

Episode 2: Getting Rid of Robert

The only episode not directed by Lynch or written by Gifford and holy hell does it show.  I'm pretty sure this is just a pilot for an early nineties version of Sex in the City.  Four women arrive at the room and it's pretty obvious this one takes place in the early nineties, judging by the fashion abortions and feathered hair being sported by the ladies.  They sit around and talk about men and their vaginas or something.  Honestly it's so fucking boring I kind of just stared out the window for most of the episode.  The main woman, Sasha, is a horrible harpy of a woman.  She cartoonishly flies off the handle at the maid for opening the champagne in an inappropriate way.  As a rule I don't condone any kind of violence towards women, but I would wipe her and her entire family from existence, just for harboring such a wretched person.  Anyway, Sasha is going to break up with her boyfriend, lucky son of a bitch, and he's on his way up to the room...OMG!  So, he shows up and is just douchey enough for me to understand why he's with this empty husk of woman.  He makes the rounds hitting on all of her friends in the room, I'm pretty sure he dry humps one of them,  before running them off completely.  Once alone together he breaks up with her, what a twist!  When she asks why, he tells her it's because she is, literally, the worst person in the world and that includes Hitler.  She pleads with him to change his mind, so she can dump him I guess...sigh.  She promises to change and to show him this she becomes enraged and bashes him over the head with a fireplace poker.  He regains consciousness as she's hauling his body into the bathroom to presumably cut it up in the bath tub.  Naturally he forgives her and they start making out on the blood soaked carpet.  Fin.

Episode 3: Blackout

Directed by Lynch and written by Gifford this episode get us back on track. Staring the always amazing Crispin Glover and Alicia Witt.  Set in 1936 this episode is just full blown Lynch all over the place.  Danny(Glover)  returns to a darkened room, due to a power outage, with some dinner for him and his wife Dianne(Witt).  The bulk of the episode takes place on a couch with Danny and his wife talking lit only by minimal light.  And yet it's a thousand times more interesting than the last episode.  They discuss why they're in New York, dead kids, and talking fish. Through the conversation we learn that Dianne has some issues, likely due to their son drowning when he was two, and they're in New York to see a doctor about them.  Of course none of this is easily spelled out, in typical Lynch fashion, just lots of allusions and fragments of reality and dreams.  By the end they seem to come to terms with things as the room is filled with white light.  Despite how it sounds this is easily the best segment.  Partly due to the fact that I can watch Crispin Glover do anything and be entertained, but mostly it's due to the fact that this is Lynch's bread and butter, he takes a minimal setup and makes it hypnotic and engaging.
So, did that clear it up for everybody?  Yeah, I didn't think so, but do you really want it to.  For me Lynch's ability to make a movie that doesn't make any fucking sense on the surface, but manages to suck you in is one of his greatest strengths.  It doesn't matter what the artist intended for the message, what matters is what you as the viewer take away from it.  True art should inspire, not teach. I think the theme running through all three episodes, and tying into the opening blurb, is truth.  All of the main characters come to a certain truth about themselves and the people around them.  The idea being that the room itself brings these things to light whether they want to know the truth or not.
That's not to say this show is high art across the board.  It has it's moments, and the idea is really a perfect fit for Lynch, but it also has its shortcomings.  Particularly the second episode, ugh.  I'm not sure if this was ever meant to be more than a mini series or not, but I really would have liked to see what they could have done with it.  An endless series of blank canvass for Lynch and other's to paint on without the restrictions of network TV.
One of the most interesting aspects of this show to me involves hindsight.  This show comes from that weird period in pop culture where Lynch was front and center.  After he changed the face of TV forever with Twin Peaks he all of the sudden had opportunities to put his work in front of more people than he ever would again.  I love the idea of the uninitiated sitting down to watch a new show from the Twin Peaks guy and getting an even more abstract concept.  No plot, no recurring characters, not a lot of laughs, and alcoholic Santa fucking hookers.
At the end of the day I don't end up watching this one very often.  Largely due to the horrible middle segment.  I enjoy it more for being from that time period when Lynch was everywhere.  It's such a strange time that will never happen again and I was too young to appreciate it at the time.  This is definitely one any Lynch fan should track down though, two nice bite sized nuggets of straight up Lynch and one heaping mouth full of warm diarrhea. Yum!

Jacob lives in Washington State with his wife Alisha VonKlingele, and their two two demon spawn(the good kind of demon). He plays with their toys  more than they do. Sometimes contributor to the grog as well as building  fucktons of custom action figures. You can check out some of his work over at VonKlingele Kustoms. 

Mortician Matt Rides His Lawnmower Through The Straight Story

Writing up an article on The Straight Story for Guts and Grog is an interesting idea, but I’m totally up for it.  The thing about this film, while being a David Lynch film is that it really is about as pure and wholesome as it gets while still maintaining a complete and utter dedication to preserving reality.  If you haven’t seen it, you might be thinking, “this can’t be a David Lynch film”.  Rest assured, in spite of the clear basis of reality, this is absolutely a David Lynch film.  He uses his usual trademarks all over this film and he uses them beautifully. 

The Straight Story is about a man, Alvin Straight (Richard Farnsworth), whose brother suffers a stroke and despite Alvin and his brother Lyle having not spoken for many years, he decides he needs to pay his brother a visit.  The catch is that Alvin lives in rural western Iowa, and his brother in Wisconsin.  The second catch is that Alvin is too old and fragile to drive and the only person he is close enough with to take him is his mentally handicapped daughter (brilliantly played by Sissy Spacek), who naturally cannot do it for him.  What does Alvin do?  He sets out on the journey on his old ass riding lawn mower, rigged up with a trailer.

The impressive thing about The Straight Story is in its all-encompassing beauty.  There really is nothing about this movie that isn’t absolutely beautiful.  The story itself is so touching that knowing that this is going on The Grog, feels incredible awkward to say.  The fact is there… this story is fucking touching.  In fact it is so touching, I don’t even want to try to be funny and clever.  It’s also beautifully shot.  David Lynch makes Iowa look amazing, he makes the shitty town of Laurens, Iowa look amazing and he makes riding a lawn mower across a state look like a beautiful thing that we should all want to do.  Hell, despite the truths spoken by Alvin during the film about growing old, Lynch even makes becoming old look amazing.  Lastly, the score is a thing of beauty.  Once again, Lynch collaborates with Angelo Badalamenti, who scored Twin Peaks, Blue Velvet, Lost Highway and Wild at Heart for an amazing and beautiful score that tells the story all in itself.  The music is dark, haunting, beautiful and culturally appropriate for the story and its location.

The fact that David Lynch teamed up with Disney for this film floors me to this day, 15 years later, but the fact remains, this is how it should be done.  This is how a great family film should look, sound and this is what it should teach us all.  With all the terrible shit that we do in our lives, there comes a point that we have that realization of what is important, and how we fix all the fuck ups we’ve made.  Alvin’s journey is a real story about a real man who had that realization and did something about it.  It’s so simple, but so powerful, and told so beautifully by Lynch, and acted beautifully by Farnsworth and Spacek.  The mood is there, the visuals are there, everything is there.  I cannot think of a single movie ever made that better shows that a family film can be an amazing work of art.  If you haven’t seen The Straight Story, there are only a handful of films I could give a higher recommendation for, none of which I’d show to my kids.  When you watch it, revel in all of it, the camera work, the setting, the acting, the characters, the music and most of all, the story.  Just because it isn’t filled with surrealism, murder, monsters, mystery or other underworldly things does not mean this film isn’t among the best ever made.  Enjoy the peace, the love and the art of The Straight Story.


-Mortician Matt

Mortician Matt is a musician, and family man, who knows more about wrestling, than a grown man should. He has contributed to 411Mania, and spends lots of time hiking and shit. His career involves picking up dead bodies that may or may not have "fallen" on their own.

I am not an animal! I am a human being! I am a man! I Am Mister Bones

When I first thought about taking part in a David Lynch theme week, I decided I should probably sit this one out, even though I’m always up for a Guts and Grog theme. The thing is, I’m just not very familiar with his work. I have to this day never seen an episode of Twin Peaks, and aside from Eraserhead, Lost Highway, and The Elephant Man, I don’t think I’ve seen any of his films. When I found out that nobody had claimed Elephant Man, which I’d assumed would’ve been the first film to go, I threw my hat in the ring. This is one of those movies that I can’t watch, but can’t not watch. It’s a beautifully crafted heart breaker of a film.

This is the story of a man named John Merrick, the most prominent victim of sad circumstance I’ve ever seen. He was born severely deformed, and spent most of his life as a part of a circus freakshow attraction because of his appearance. His “owner”, a man named Bytes, was an abusive drunk who beat him severely. John lived a life devoid of any kind of hope, he never spoke, he just endured his torment, waiting to die. His life was changed, however, when he was discovered by a young surgeon named Frederick Treves. Treves, wanting at first to study John and his condition, makes arrangements with Bytes to meet the so called “Elephant Man”. After his initial findings, and presenting John to a medical board, Dr. Treves, suspecting that there’s more to Mr. Merrick than he’s presenting, decides to save him from his life of abuse. He arranges for John to stay in a hospital, where he can be cared for, and for the first time in his life, be treated like a human being. What Dr. Treves discovers is that John Merrick is an intelligent, sensitive, soft spoken man, and far from a monster, or “Elephant Man”.

This movie is one of those that gets to me every single time, no matter how many times I watch it, it never gets any easier. David Lynch achieves with this movie something that I hope for almost every single time I sit down to watch a movie, a reaction. I run the gamut from rage to deep sadness from start to finish. If you can watch this movie and not feel a thing for John Merrick, then you simply do not have a heart. It’s maybe time to see the Wizard and get some shit sorted out.

Technically, this film also shines. Jack Hayes’ score is perfectly haunting, and compliments the tone. The camera work is superb. It’s shot in crisp black and white, and the scenes often fade to black before changing. This is especially appealing to those of us who grew up watching the Universal Monster flicks of the 1930’s and 40’s. The Elephant Man may have been released in 1980, but I’d have no problem believing it had been from the same era as Dracula and The Wolf Man. There’s something to be said about almost every decision Lynch made with this movie, but the most interesting to me is the decision how the tone of the movie initially puts you in the mindset of a monster movie, only to have the movie do a complete 180, showing us that John was very much not the monster he was thought to be.

This movie wouldn’t have worked without strong performances from the actors portraying Treves and Merrick, and thankfully, both Anthony Hopkins and John Hurt more than deliver. Watching Anthony Hopkins in this movie is nothing short of watching a master of his craft at work. 

The Elephant Man is still my favorite of all of his wonderful performances. John Hurt is also wonderful, bringing the tortured soul of John Merrick to life. His make-up being what it is, forces him to mainly work with nothing but his eyes, and even when he’s in the hospital, and for the first time being treated civilly, you can see the pain in them. The rest of the cast, although maybe not quite as important, are also solid. You’ll hate Bytes and Night Porter because you’re supposed to, they’re despicable characters, and are played accordingly by Freddie Jones and Michael Elphick. The one and only nitpick I have with the cast is Anne Bancroft as Mrs. Kendal, there’s just something kind of awkward about some of her delivery. It isn’t particularly distracting, but it’s there.

Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed revisiting The Elephant Man. It’s one of those that’s a definite kick in the feels. Every time I watch it, I take something else away from it. I think most of us have at one time or another felt a little like a John Merrick. Whether it’s being looked down upon, mocked, stared at, beaten up, or simply ignored, when if the people doing so would simply stop to listen, they might discover that we’re not all that bad, and we may have something to say that’s worth listening to. 

Mitch goes by the internet moniker Mister Bones. He’s a simple minded fellow, who loves comic books, horror movies, hockey, and video games. He can be found writing about such as that, and all manner of other meaningless topics over at this blog, Tales From the Batcave.

Michael Melton Breaks Down On Mulholland DR.

The first time I watched "Mulholland Drive", way back in 2001, I absolutely loved it. I didn't understand a damn thing that happened in it, but I loved it. I had always liked Lynch films, but this was a whole new revelation for me into what I would from then on see as a "Great film". It challenged me, albeit in a confusing way at first, to see the power of non-linear story telling, of using dreams and personal fantasy as the entire focus of a movie.

  

 Again, I didn't feel like I quite understood it. The movie ran circles around my head for weeks. In fact, I don't recall ever talking about a movie so much and with so many people. We would go over what was real and what was just Diane/Betty's delusional fantasy. We would talk about how hot the lesbian sex scene was (although by today's standards it is actually pretty mild). And, most of all we would talk about how the man behind Winkies diner had scared the actual shit out of us.

  

 Now I am older and wiser, and have had the chance to watch Mulholland five or six more times. I have come to realize (I think) that the first half is Diane's personal fantasy and the result of her going from desire, to obsession, to jealousy, to masturbating while crying, to homicidal, to completely whacked out in the second half of the movie (or first half of the story). That is just my take on it though, and that is without getting all deep into the symbolism of the blue key, and the aforementioned terrifying man behind the diner, and all of the other strange things and people that Mr. Lynch created and put into this film.

   
That is what makes it such a great movie though. I dare say this is about as close to a perfect movie as I have seen in the last 15 years and that is due in large part to how heavily layered it is. A lot of reviews on Mulholland say something to the tune of "It will stay in your head for days." and that is the biggest thing I want from a movie. Forget all of the CGI bullshit (okay it can be fun at times but I am trying to make a point here), and the rom-coms, and the sparkly vampires. I want something that makes me think and feel. David Lynch does that every time, but "Mulholland Drive" is the prime example.

Make sure to check out Mike's site, The Film Philosopher. 

Maynard Enters Inland Empire

INLAND EMPIRE

Alternate Title:
Inland Empire: A Woman in Trouble

Alternate German Title:
Inland Empire - Eine Frau in Schwierigkeiten

France / Poland / USA, 2006
Director: David Lynch

9/10

"I can't seem to remember if it's today, two days from now, or yesterday."

In some kinda way, that's almost exactly how I felt when I saw "Inland Empire" for the very first time. After I completely and utterly fell in love with his uber-masterpiece "Mulholland Drive" in 2001, I just couldn't wait for a new Lynchian mindfuck. 5 years later, Lynch delivered - oh boy, how he delivered!

"Hey! Look at me and tell me if you've known me before."

Hmm. Hard to tell. Is ist the same Lynch as always? I'm not sure. "Inland Empire" is basically as Lynchian as all of his more uber-bizarre movies, like "Eraserhead" or "Lost Highway", though it's surprsingly even more convoluted, complicated and fucked up than everything he has ever done. It's not easy or pleasant to watch, it's not fun or entertaining... hell, at times, it's really tedious and painful. It's three hours long and only the first hour seem to make sense, while the remaining two hours penetrate and rape your brain with an eagerness that is almost disturbing - but at the end, the very end, you realize that you just experienced another piece of Lynchian awesomeness, maybe not as sastisfying as previous efforts, but satisfying enough to make you cry everyday for the fact that he hasn't made another feature since 2006.

"I figured one day I'd just wake up and and find out what the hell yesterday was all about."

I hope that one day, I will wake up and understand every single second of this movie... this nightmare of a movie. This bizarre phantasmagoria. This somewhat traumatising succession of inexplicable events that happen to a woman in trouble... or is it two women? or even more? There is Nikki Grace (stunningly played by the great Laura Dern), an actress who makes her comeback in a film called "On High in Blue Tomorrows" which is actually a remake of a German film called "47" which was never finished because its lead actors were murdered. Nikki goes so far into her film character Susan "Sue" Blue that it not only changes and confuses her life, no, she eventually "transforms" into Sue!

As Sue, her life falls into a downward spiral. She becomes involved with drugs and alcohol, disastrous relationships and a husband who has weird connections to a mysterious Polish circus, as well as to a Polish organisation that consists of pimps who deal with prostitutes. In the end, she herself accompanies a group of prostitutes on Hollywood Boulevard where she gets stabbed by Doris, the wife of her film lover Billy (wonderfully played by Justin Theroux). And suddenly, we're back on the set of "On High...", Sue somehow transforms back into Nikki (or not?) and then, some more REALLY weird shit happens.

But that's not all: there's "The Phantom", a dangerous and slightly creepy hypnotist who often walks around with a light bulb in his mouth. A sad woman, called "Lost Girl" who constantly watches an unsettling semi-sitcom where a family of humanoid rabbits talks in riddles. American hookers flashing her boobs, dancing to Little Eva's "The Loco-Motion". Polish hookers in Łódź during the 1930s. A Hispanic and a Japanese woman talking about bus stops and drug addicts in Pomona. Nastassja Kinski, Ben Harper, Laura Harring, a lumberjack, a monkey and a one-legged man singing and dancing to Nina Simone's "Sinnerman".
Oh, and a freaky Polish woman rambling about "brutal fucking murders", telling two old Polish folk tales:

A little boy went out to play.	A little girl went out to play.
When he opened his door,	Lost in the marketplace,
he saw the world.	as if half-born.
As he passed through the doorway,	Then, not through the marketplace
he caused a reflection.	- you see that, don't you? -
Evil was born.	but through the alley
Evil was born,	behind the marketplace.
and followed the boy.	This is the way to the palace.

If you think I have any idea what this is all about, you're wrong. It could be "simply" a complex mix-up of various stories centered around Laura Dern's character, it could have something to do with parallel dimensions or Möbius strips, it could be a dream/nightmare within a dream/nightmare within a dream/nightmare - or maybe it's just something that I am too stupid for.
There are many, many nods to his earlier films, especially to "Mulholland Drive" (struggling actors, Hollywood clichés, red lamps & curtains...), but obviously that doesn't explain anything either. Doesn't matter. It's as Lynchian as it could get and that alone makes me love the hell out of it.

"I've been going around, meeting my new neighbors. I think that it is important to know one's neighbors. To say "Hello!" to them."

Lynch's direction is excellent. He gave a fuck about everything, didn't care about filmmaking rules, didn't care about a proper plot or narrative, didn't care about the audience. He just did whatever the hell he wanted to do. The digital camera work is at first pretty awkward, but once you get used to it, you realize how well it works, you realized its surreal effect on all the weird shit that is happening.

As I already mentioned, Dern and Theroux are both excellent, but there are other great performances too, like Grace Zabriskie as the eerie old woman, Jeremy Irons as nice director, Harry Dean Stanton as the director's strange assistant or Krzysztof Majchrzak as the Phantom.

The soundtrack consists of fabulous tunes like Beck's uber-cool "Black Tambourine", Etta James' wonderful "At Last" or Nina Simone's breathtaking "Sinnerman", as well as some awesome classic stuff from Krzysztof Penderecki and Boguslaw Schaeffer.

When the police came and they asked what happened, I told them: "He's reaping what he's been sowing, that's what.
They said: "Fucker been sowing some pretty heavy shit."

"Inland Empire" is the very defintion of a Lynchian mindfuck. It could be described as a masterpiece - it could be described as utter rubbish. It may be cinematic perfection - it may be amateurish bullshit. It's art - it's crap. Some love it - some hate it. Whatever.

If you try to enter "Inland Empire" expecting it to be a "simple" film - go away.
If you try to enter "Inland Empire" expecting it to be Lynchian a.k.a weird as shit through and through - hello and welcome, enjoy your stay!

Wiki ~ Imdb

Make sure to check out more of Maynard over at Horror Movie Diary. 

David Lynch Loves Old Metal Buildings- By Jeremy Gaulkenstein

Jeremy is a published writer. His books include "What the Master Does Not Speak Of – Poems and Drawings by Jeremy Gaulke" and "The Ghost of Harrison Sheets." He runs Critters and Gods, which is an art zine inspired by H. P. Lovecraft. It features black and white and color illustrations depicting life, symbolism, and ritual in a post-Cthulhu world. Make sure to check out all of his awesome at APEP. 

Welcome To David Lynch Week

David Lynch has been at the top of my favorite filmmakers list, as long as I can remember. I am told that my mother went to see The Elephant Man, while I was in utero. I like to believe that this helped shaped my love of the man, true or not. I was a little young when Twin Peaks first aired. I remember it well, but didn't really watch it. I remember the obsession the world showed, and that everywhere I looked was plastered with Laura Palmer. I watched Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me when it was initially released. I remember liking it, but not having a clue what was going on. I had only seen a couple episodes, and was merely twelve years old. Lost Highway was the first film of his, that I watched, and was instantly enamored with. I was in high school, and I was blown away. I instantly popped that bitch in my rewinder, and watched it again. I continued to watch it at least once a day, for about a year. I then went on a quest to see, and learn everything about David Lynch. I read books, I listened to soundtracks, I watched documentaries, and watched his films on repeat.

I have always wanted to feature Lynch here on the grog. As mentioned earlier, he has been my favorite filmmaker for quite some time. When I realized that the Blu Ray set was coming out for Twin Peaks, including both the show, and film. Not to mention hours of extras, including the thought never to be seen deleted scenes from FWWM. I knew I had to act fast. It was the perfect time to do it. It could  be a week full of love letters to my favorite director, by me, and other figures from the horror world. I sent out the invites, and got everything lined up.

 It didn't quite end up in the scale, I had initially planned on. It was short notice, and a busy time for many, including myself. With that said. It still turned out amazing. I have some well thought out write ups to share with you. Originally I planned on covering every film/television show/book/record that he had ever created, but with the time restraints, that just wasn't feasible. A good chunk were covered, and will be posted throughout the next week.

I want to thank all the contributors for taking the time, to share your love of Lynch, with me, and all of our readers. I could have not  pulled this off without you. I also want to thank you, the reader. without you, these are just words on a screen.

Make sure to check out all of the contributors sites, where they have all kinds of amazing to share with you.

I will leave you with a photo gallery of many Lynch items from my personal collection. Some are autographs, some are collectibles. I also included pictures from different times I have met cast and crew from many Lynch films. I apologize for the bad quality of some of these. Many are old photos, that I took a picture of with my phone, as I don't have a scanner at the moment.

Drinking a 40 0f PBR in a room that FWWM was filmed in. The oil on the wall was painted by Lynch.

The best picture I could get when I met him at the Inland Empire premiere.

 Phoebe Augustine/Ronette Pulask

Russ Tamblyn/Dr. Jacoby

Dana Ashbrook/Bobby Briggs with Steph Infection

Richard Beymer/Benjamin Horne with Jacob VonKlingele

The Diner from Twin Peaks. Amazing place, and amazing food.

Outside of the diner with Jacob VonKlingele, and our friend Eddie. 

A promo for FWWM

A full size video store standee from Wild at Heart.

FWWM poster, signed by many of the cast, and David Lynch.

Most of his films/TV Shows

Eraserhead DVD signed by Lynch and others.

Twin Peaks Season One, signed by most of the cast. 

Julee Cruise/Rebekah Del Rio signed CDs.

Julee Cruise performing(one of the best shows I have ever seen)

The falls.

A different angle, on the diner.

Seeing Wild At Heart, at a theater, in the same town most of the pilot of Twin Peaks was filmed.

Rebekah Del Rio(Singer in Mulholland Dr.)

With Jen Lynch. His daughter and director of Boxing Helena and Surveillance. Also the author of Laura Palmer's Secret Diary. 

Grace Zabriskie/Sarah Palmer

Michael Horse/Hawk

Kimmy Robertson/Lucy

Catherine E. Couldon/The Log Lady

Now lets move onto David Lynch Week. The next seven days, all Lynch, all the time.


- Tromeric

Tromeric can be found sitting in a dark room watching Homeward Bound, followed by A Serbian Film.  He found a secret potion called the grog.  It is similar to The Gummi Bears Gummibear Juice, but instead of making him bounce from here to everywhere, it gives him the ability to endure movies such as Blood Freak, and The Room, on a regular basis. When he drinks the grog, he also has the ability to have more references that you don't understand, than Wikipedia.  In the off chance he is taking a break from the grog, you can find him drinking coffee from a cup with half of the Black Dahlia pictured on it, eating Count Chocula, and making lists about whether The Taint has a better soundtrack than Voyage of the Rock Aliens.

ALL NEW “SEX AND MONSTERS” UNLEASHED

Los Angeles, CA – After two years of development, the horror-humor webcomic “Sex and Monsters” (www.sexandmonsters.com) is being re-launched today with all new comics by an international group of independent writers and artists. 

According to “Sex and Monsters” publisher Will Penny, “It’s been a lot of fun working with great talents like Angelica Blevins, Corlen Kruger, and Sergi Brosa.  I think readers will really like what we’ve cooked up for them!”

“Sex and Monsters” showcases a variety of comics that mix together Saturday morning cartoons and late-night horror movies.  Rue Morgue Magazine has praised “Sex and Monsters” as “quirky” and “worth checking out.” (Rue Morgue #114).  The website has also been nominated for a “Ghastly Award” for excellence in webcomics.

 

“Whether it be undead surf kooks, naked teenage beatniks, or girls in gorilla-suits, I think the new site will have something to offer everyone,” says Penny.

For more information be sure to visit www.sexandmonsters.com.

Tromeric's Top 100 Comedies: The Whole Damn Thing

100. 

While Trey Parker and Matt Stone had nothing to do with this, outside of acting in it, their humor shines through. You will recognize plenty of their usual comrades, and even hear a couple of voices you may recognize from a certain animated show. May not be a masterpiece, but it is funny as hell. 

99. 

Mike Judge has held a special place in my heart since I was a teenage boy who first saw Beavis & Butthead. Idiocracy is almost as terrifying as it is funny. The amount of things that have already come true definitely make me glad that I am not immortal, as I hope I don't have to see the world turn into the shit hole that Mike Judge has prophesied. All the terror aside, this movie has me shitting bricks every time I watch it. 

98.

One of the greatest college comedies ever created. Some surprises in the cast, and George Clinton and the P-Funk All Stars know how to party.Remember,  Don't be that guy. Get your ass out, and watch this bitch. You wont regret it. 

97.

In the old days, spoof movies were actually capable of being funny. Who knew? Hot Shots is a spoof of Top Gun, as well as others. Charlie Sheen shines, long before he drank tiger blood, or starred in the shittiest sitcom ever. I love the sequel, but in the end, this is the one I revisit more often. 

96. 

John Candy makes his first of many appearances on this list. If I was an uncle, I would probably make Buck look like a saint. Granted, if they made a movie about that it probably wouldn't end up on a comedy list. 

95.

I randomly rented this one night back in the nineties. I wasn't really sure what I was getting, I knew Steve Buscemi, and Samuel L Jackson ruled, but that was about it. My balls were detached from my body, I was laughing so hard. Get this in your diet now. If you haven't seen it, you're in for some awesome. If you have, I can assure you it's time to revisit. 

94.

Seth the Zombie and I went to see this one afternoon on a whim. We didn't really know much, but it was hot, and we wanted to sit in a theater and drink a beer, and this was playing. I initially had no interest, as the trailers just made it look like generic crap. I believe it came out around the time as that Paul Blart: Mall Cop garbage, so I dismissed it based on my brain linking it to that. Once it started, I quickly realized I was wrong. A black comedy, that had me shitting out of my nose. So twisted, and hilarious. 

93.

Before Pauly Shore became a total joke(a belief I don't share with most people)he made this masterpiece. The classic fish out of water tale is told with all the weasels. I revisited this a couple of years ago, when I was spending the weekend with Sadistik.  I was surprised how well it had held up, as it had been quite a few minutes since I had seen it last. Since then I have watched it at least once a year. Pauly Shore line dancing. Pure gold. 

92.

Slapstick at its finest. Leslie Nielsen in one of his finest roles. Robert Stack always rules. So many memorable moments. Lay 'em down, and smack 'em, yak 'em. Pop this bitch in, now!

91.

Probably the funniest movie about taking advantage of someone with amnesia.KurtRussell pretty much always owns, and Municipal Waste even wrote a song about it. 

90. 

I watched this movie so many times in my teens, that I thought I was starring in it. The amount of TV shows that have based entire episodes around this film is insane. I dare you to think of a Sci-Fi show that hasn't? X-Files, Supernatural, Buffy. The list goes on. Bill Murry at his best. 

 89.

I wasn't a nerd in school, per se, but that didn't stop me from identifying with them. I watched this film more times than I masturbated to Porky's, well at least the same amount. Booger was always my favorite, as he was on the more obscene side, which I definitely related to. It's pretty crazy to go back and see how skinny John Goodman was in this. Followed by sequels, that were fun, but didn't quite match the level of awesome. 

88.

What can I say about this, that hasn't already been said? It is classic for a reason. Belushi, Bacon, Matheson, just to name a few. I assume you have seen this, in the off chance you haven't. Make sure to see what you're missing out on. 

87. 

Based of the TV show, but plenty of new gags to keep you entertained. See OJ before he forgot how to put on a pair of gloves. 

86.

An updated version of the classic show, but fucking hilarious. One of the finest examples of a buddy cop comedy. The sacrifice scene turned me on when I was a kid, still does. 

85.

A buddy comedy, starring your grandparents. I can't help but love this. I watch it pretty much every holiday season. 

84.

A misunderstood film. I am shocked how many people I hear with disdain for this film. Elliot kills it, and Letterman is amazing. If you didn't enjoy it, I highly recommend you give it another chance. The amount of shit that leaves my body when I watch this is insane.

83.

I generally am not a fan of Jim Carrey. I enjoy a few of his flicks, but this is the only one that stands out for me. So many memorable moments, and I am beyond excited for the sequel hitting later this year. 

82.

Arguably the first horror comedy. At least as far as the modern trend goes. Sure you had the Abbott and Costello films, and plenty of others that embraced comedy, but this is the first one I can think of that straight up spoofed the genre. The Breather is an amazing killer, and it's hilarious to boot.

81.

John Waters makes his first, of many appearances on here. I love Pecker, take that statement however you like. The point is, Edward Furlong kills it in this loose biopic of Waters himself. Plenty of the Waters crew show up, and there are some truly amazing moments. 

80.

When I first was made aware that A Dirty Shame was happening, I shit. I have been in love with John Waters as long as I can remember. All I initially knew was that Johnny Knoxville, and Chris Issac were in it, and it was going to be a return to his roots. When I finally heard that it was rated NC-17, I knew it had a chance. In the end, it is somewhere between his initial shock films, and his later films, but it is amazing, and that is all that matters. Selma Blair has giant breasticles, Johnny Knoxville is god like, and Tracy Ullman sits on a bottle in front of a grip of seniors. Plenty of cameos from the surviving Dreamlanders, and a few other surprises. 

79.

Definitely on the list mostly due to nostalgia, but entertaining nonetheless. Some classically quotable lines,and Gwar makes an appearance. 

78.

I had no interest in seeing this, it looked insanely dumb. Well, it was, but it was also fucking hilarious. 

77.

Danny Glover had gotten too old for other shit, so he moved on to this shit. Another elderly comedy makes the list. The chemistry between Pesci and Glover is hypnotic. They are dumb as shit, and make me laugh my balls off. Classic buddy comedy. 

76.

Excuse me, I need to go walk my goldfish. 

75.

A Thanksgiving must watch. So many classic lines. Steve Martin and John Candy were/are two of the funniest mother fuckers around. Someone made a faux trailer of this. It was edited to be a reinterpretation of Brokeback Mountain. Look it up. It will have you shitting. 

74.

Never have really been a Star Trek fan, so I wasn't initially interested in this. Luckily I finally popped it in. Nerds who work at a fictional Full Moon Studios, go see theatrical screenings of classic films, and are obsessed with Laser Discs. If it wasn't for the Star Trek obsession, I would assume it was about me. Also, have you ever seen William Shatner rap about Ceaser? Well, you need to. 

73.

One of the first Hip-Hop comedies I fell in love with. A staple in my viewing during the nineties. Jeff Burr, king of the sequels even makes a cameo. So I get my horror fix, while I laugh my ass off. 

72.

 I always think of this along with Home Alone. While I love Home Alone around Christmas time, this is always pleasing to my brain. John Ritter is a god, and the kid is such a little shit head. I used to put this on if I wanted to piss off Mortician Matt. He, to this day will not admit how awesome this film is. Someday I will lock him up and Clockwork Orange his ass, and make him watch this on repeat. 

71. 

Everything these guys touch turns into gold. I feel like I waited forever for this to finally come out. Once it did, I hit the theater as soon as I could. It is rare fore me to laugh as hard as I did in a theater for this. The songs, the commentary, the fake cameos. All brilliant. The dicks and pussies speech at the end, had me dying. 

70. 

This picks up directly after the hijinks of the first film. Nothing new, but with how much I love the first one, I never minded. I could have followed these bastards around for years. Well, I thought I could. Then Porky's Revenge happened. 

69.

I have been a connoisseur of taking animal films since I was dick high. I am always on the lookout for new ones. They are pretty sparse since their heyday in the nineties. First trailer for this, and I was hooked. Once it hit the shelves, I took it home, and goddamn. The amount of laughter coming out of me. Wow. Snoop is a hound dog. Do you need to know any more?

68.

One of the only sports films I truly love. The twins. Yep, the twins. 

67.

One of the Kevin Smith films that gets the most hate. I don't get it. After Clerks, I needed to see this, and once it hit home video, I did just that. Instantly was in love. The amount of times this played in my bedroom in high school is only challenged by the amount of chickens that were choked in there. 

66.

This sequel surpasses the original, and I love the original. Burgess Meredith probably doesn't remember how funny he was, eating all that bacon, and making inappropriate comments, but I do.

65. 

I love all of the Vacation movies, even Vegas is great. This is the one that always gets me though. I have a weird obsession with Christmas films also, so that only helps. Very few things in this world are as funny as Eddie emptying his RV, and screaming "Shitter was full." This last year, I watched this while on mushrooms. Totally changed the experience.

64. 

Love both of these, but this has always been my favorite. The Seventh Seal homage owns me. The aliens, the butt rockers, the babes. Solid from start to finish. 

 63.

This is a film that is affected by its own hype. I caught it the opening week, so I hadn't had it shoved down my throat yet. All I know is I shit my pants like seven times in the theater. Mike Tyson, wild animals, Mike Epps. Shit is great. Followed by two entertaining, but not perfect by any means, sequels. 

62.

Chevy Chase at his finest. I really don't know what to say about this. It is near perfection. Followed by the almost equally entertaining Fletch Lives. 

61.

Joe Dante kills it with this loose biopic of William Castle. John Goodman slays in this role, and the kid from Eerie Indiana is always awesome. I am grateful I grew up during the splattery eighties, but if I hadn't, I think being a monster kid in the fifties would have been amazing. 

60.

Another entry that is very nostalgia based. Parts are overly sentimental, but there are enough laughs to keep it entertaining. I saw this at the drive in, about a week after I graduated. Which made it nearly impossible to not draw parallels to my own life. I mean, I also wanted to penetrate Jennifer Love Hewitt. Some random cameos from future stars keep you on your toes as well. 

59.

Growing up a fan of the greener things in life, how can you not love this masterpiece? It is also funny as shit, so that doesn't hurt. 

58.

From what I have heard, Bob Odenkirk, and David Cross have disowned this. I know it took a christ age for it to finally come out. I loved Mr. Show, and was insanely excited when I heard that a feature based off my favorite criminal was headed to the big screen. A billion years later it finally hit, and my ass left my body from laughing so hard. It is not perfect. Plenty of flaws, and I understand why they weren't happy with the finished product. With that said. This shit is funny as hell. 

57.

Super under appreciated film. Written and directed by Louis C.K. Goes great as a double feature with Fear of a Black Hat. I swear by Pootie, Let him protect you.

56.

The amount of times I watched this growing up. Wow! Mostly looked down upon. I don't get it. Holy shit! The cast is so great. So many heavy hitters. It is on the verge of being a horror comedy. The make up is excellent. It's almost a comedic version of the backwoods horror film. Oh, and Digital Underground kills it. 

55.

After the amazing Super Troopers, I was ready to see more from Broken Lizard. When I heard their next film was going to be a horror spoof, I leaked a little from multiple places. I waited anxiously until the time had come. I fell in love instantly. Super Troopers took me a couple views to fully love, where this was instant. Bill Paxton destroys as the fictional version of Jimmy Buffet, surprisingly effective kills, and Jordan Ladd gets all kinds of naked.  This, and the fact there is a solid laugh within every five minutes of film, makes it a regular must watch. 

54.

The film that put Wes Anderson on the map. He had Bottle Rocket beforehand, but this really put him in the everyday lexicon of film nerds. Probably the first time I realized how brilliant Bill Murry was. While I have enjoyed most of Anderson's films since, very few have surpassed this one for me. 

53.

Written by Stuart Gordan, and Brian Yuzna. Yes, you read that right. I saw this shit in the theater multiple times. Funny as hell, with a bit of the atomic Sci-Fi feel. Followed by a couple of  enjoyable sequels.

52.

A childhood favorite. Michael Keaton was on a roll in the late eighties. This had everything I was in love with as a kid. It also is one of the fist times I realized I could have my horror and comedy in the same helping. 

51.

Sending talking animals to the city, is similar to sending a horror franchise to space. Probably not a great idea, but somehow ends up being pretty goddamn entertaining. I don't visit this one quite as often as the first, but it still ends up in the deck more frequently than it should at a 33 year old's house. 

50. 

We start into the second half of this countdown, with one of the newer films to make the cut for me. The cast all kill it in this. Franco blows me away, but it is the collective that makes up the entire cast that really captures my heart. I really hope part two happens, especially if it is anything like their homemade version from This is the End. 

49.

While I never was a huge fan of Hogan as a wrestler, I generally love his film work. That sounded funny, even as I typed it, but I stand by it. I wouldn't dare call any of them cinematic masterpieces, but goddamn are they fun. Unless you count Santa with Muscles, which I still feel the need to watch during the Xmas season, but I digress, he was always too positive for me in the wrestling world. I didn't want to hear someone tell me to stay away from drugs, and respect my parents. I wanted someone to kick ass, and chew bubble gum. Even with my less than loving attitude towards his wrestling, I love this movie. The whole cast is great, and it is a great one to put on during a lazy day. 

 48.

A staple of my teenage years. Growing up, I always wanted to work in a video store. I imagined all the hijinks I could get myself into. This movie helped me see that my imagination was just breaking the barrier. It is also one of the first movies that made me realize that anyone could make a movie, if they really wanted to. A film I revisit often would be an understatement. One last thing. Is thirty seven dicks really a big deal?

47. 

I assume many will disagree with me putting this above the first one. While I don't disagree that the first is a far superior film, this one is more of a staple for me. I absolutely loved the gopher in this, and I wore the shit out of the first tape of this, that I owned.

46.

Emilio Estevez writes, directs, and stars in this. Part garbage man comedy, part murder mystery. This film defines the early nineties for me. Keith David is terrifying, and hilarious. You don't ever touch another mans french fries. 

45.

One day I in my early teens, I took the bus downtown to do some VHS hunting. I had just recently heard about South Park, but didn't have cable at the time, so I still had only seen bits and pieces at friends houses. Well, as I was perusing the wall of tapes, one jumped out at me. Cannibal: The Musical called to me. I snagged it off the shelf, and returned home. I popped it in the VCR, and shit quickly left my insides from laughter. It was a year later or so that I realized that it was the same madman involved in South Park that had made this. Since then, I try and watch it at least once a year. I am always excited to go hunting for gold. Fudge, Packer? 

44. 

Few movies sum up my childhood like this one. I think the only thing I rented more than this was Dream Warriors. Simultaneously terrifying, and hilarious.

43.

John Waters is one of my gods. While not my favorite of the Waters films, this one is one of my most watched. It was in heavy rotation in high school. I love the homages to classic horror such as H.G. Lewis, and other pioneers of the drive in age. Matthew Lillard fresh off the success of his cameo in Ghoulies III, is hilarious. I love John Waters use of stunt casting, and I think Kathleen Turner in this, might be his masterpiece. 

42.

Most Coen Brother films slay me, but this is the first one I remember seeing. I assume most have seen this, if you haven't, leave your bunker, and change your life. 

41.

Who hasn't wanted to give strangers orgasms without going to jail? Who hasn't wanted to get cast into a porn movie on pure chance? Who hasn't seen this masterpiece? Kill yourself. Well, at least go rent or buy this now. 

40.

Definitely a staple of my childhood. I watched this so many times as a kid, I had to take about a decade off from it. I have since revisited it multiple times, and instantly fell back in love. Anytime I hear a bell, I quickly hear "Bring out your dead." It is only in my head, I assume, but it is amazing every time. 

39.

I have always loved Alex Winter. Mainly due to Bill and Ted, but it was Freaked that really gave me a huge man boner for him. I saw this when I was a kid, and never could remember the name. I always pictured it in my head, but could never figure out the title. Then when Anchor Bay released the DVD, I quickly knew I had found one of my lost loves. After plenty of reunited sex with it, I have fell in love with it again. 

38.

Holy shit! I love this movie. I enjoy most of the eighties parody/slapstick films, but this has always been the standout for me. It definitely helps that it is a spoof of The Exorcist, and even has a few of the stars, including Linda Blair. Leslie Nielsen shines as the priest. So much pee soup. I also have a fond memory of the boobs. I miss PG-13 Boobs. 

37.

I assume I will get a lot of shit for putting this higher than the first one. I love Clerks, for it's time it was pretty genre defying, and started Smith's career. I however, can't deny the amount I shit the first time I saw this, and every time after. I felt like Dante and Randal had never left me. So fucking funny, and so many great cameos. The beginning, and the end are a perfect capture of nostalgia from the first one. 

36.

A who's who of 80/90's Hip Hop. Even has the other Dr. Dre, the fat and hilarious one. I don't hear people talk about this as much as I would expect, with how fucking awesome it is. Dennis Leary is amazing as the chief, just don't ask him for anything round with a whole in it.

35.

I almost like this more than the original. It is close, but I can't argue with the perfection of the first, but we will get to that soon. As mentioned before, I love Xmas movies. I have a weird obsession for them. When I found out that there would be a new Friday film, this time on Christmas, I was happier than a pig in shit. I have written about my love for this film before, during Shit Movie Fest's "Shitmas." The returning cast from the previous films are amazing, and made better with all the new additions. Terry Crews kills me in this. He loves 2Pac. I mean loves. 

34.

Ernest makes his first, of many appearances on this list. In his third theatrical excursion, he gets tricked into going to jail. Ernest is a god in my world. I bow to him. I even love his later shitty direct to video films. Jail is somewhere in the middle for me. It is definitely not my favorite, and the middle drags a bit, but there is more than enough hilarity to keep me coming back. The scene where he accidentally eats a pen during jury duty has me on the floor every time. 

33.

Steve Martin shows perfection in this. I am always happy to watch this beast. Just watch out, I hate those cans. 

32.

Definitely my favorite Anderson film. Billy Murry. No need to say anymore. The supporting cast is exceptional as well. Willem Dafoe is probably my favorite, and the Bowie covers. Yep.

31.

Adam Sandler once tried to remake this. Well, that is an assumption, but either way, he failed. This is a masterpiece. John Ritter always owns. There are moments as terrifying as funny, but all that does is help me love it more. 

 30. 

 Sidney Poitier directed this. Yep you read that right, Mr. Cosby is coming to dinner. Horror comedy may be stretching the term a bit, but he is  ghost, so I will go with it. Dana Ashbrook has a small role, and that is just one of many reasons to watch this badass flick. 

 29.

Goddamn! So good. The Dude Abides, and so do I. 

 28.

The amount of times I dreamt of having my own TV station is astronomical, and largely in part to UHF. I want to drink from the fire hose. Hit me up, you can come by and eat a hot dog, covered in cheese wiz, out of a twinkie.

 27.

Even though this film takes place four years before I was born, it feels hugely nostalgic to me. That feeling of school being out, heading to a party, not knowing what you are gonna do with your life. It probably helps that I saw this first, when I was in high school. Smartly written, and hilarious on top of that.  Oh, and the soundtrack kills. 

26.

Who hasn't wanted to just up and quit their job? Just live life, no pressure, no responsibility. I know I have. While not realistic to do, it is fun as hell to watch. I remember renting this late one night off of the satellite, and dying. I then watched it three more times before my 24 hour rental expired.

25.

I loved The State so much. When this hit I knew I had to see it. It is insane to go back now, and see so many people that have went on to huge celebrity status. The theme song is played constantly at the house of grog.

24.
A must watch on Christmas. I was shocked when I went to see this, and saw that it was Terry Zwigoff. I then lost my shit for two hours. Billy Bob recently reminded me why I love him so much, with the Fargo TV show. This is the movie that really made me fall in love with Billy Bob. Hidden beneath all of the tasteless jokes, and Santa fucking, is a pretty smart, sincere, and hilarious film.

23.
So many memories. So many moments of amazing. Make sure to check Mortician Matt's list for a full story about an epic evening with this flick.

22.
Damn near close to my favorite Water's flick. As far as his older ones go, it is the most subtlety brilliant. The sex scene with Jean Hill and Mink Stole is one of cinema's best.

 21.
I want Harry to be my best friend. I only lived an hour and a half outside of Seattle when this came out, that just made it more reasonable in my head, that someday we would become pals. Lithgow is amazing. Someday I will have a tattoo of Harry. Yes, it will happen.

20.

Shit everywhere. That is what happened the first, and every time I watched this. Breathing is a difficult thing to accomplish during Superbad. Every word that comes out of their mouths, is hilarious. The amount of times Jonah Hill is hit by things. Wow. Best part of the whole movie is him tripping over the tent in a random back yard. So perfectly timed. 

19.

The film that put Ernest on the map. So many amazing moments. The song he sings is surprisingly touching, and parachuting turtles always excite me.

18.

This is a film I stumbled across, perusing the walls at the video store. I knew nothing about it, but the title ruled, the cover had a pretty girl on it, and it claimed to be better than Dazed and Confused. I didn't really expect that quote to hold any truth, as I was in love with Dazed. Once I watched it I knew two things. It was amazing, and comparing it to Dazed was not really valid. They both take place in the 70's, besides that, not a lot in common. Over the years, this has become a staple around my place. I have to watch it at least once a year, and the quotes never end. Beware the eyeball. 

17.

A spoof of Sherlock Holmes, in a haunted house, with Don Knotts. Do you really need to know anymore? 

16.

The most infamous of Waters' films. I have always loved the idea of people competing for the title of "filthiest people alive." Every time I watch this I laugh harder, then I did the previous time. Singing assholes, shit eating, family blow jobs, eggs, and so much more. 

15.

I think I can safely assume that this is the darkest comedy on the list. Calling this a comedy, is a bit of a stretch. With that said, I can't help but laugh my ass off, in between cringing of course. The opening with Jon Lovitz has be rolling on the floor every time. It is so awkward, and perfectly executed. After you have watched this, make sure you search for the video of Bert and Ernie, with the "cum" conversation overdubbed. Jaw dropping. 

14.

I have watched this so many times. I can pretty much quote it from start to finish. The tomfoolery between these three pets is non stop. All of the others they meet on their journey just add to the awesome. Watch out for Birdzilla, and remember "cats rule, and dogs drool."

13.

Never in a million years would have thought that this title would make it so high on my list. I don't really enjoy Russel Brand, and romantic comedies are not my go to, in the comedy genre. The writing in this is brilliant though. Jason Segel straight kills it, and the jokes never stop. The vampire puppets are an amazing touch as well.

12.

I never got snow days when I was growing up. The city was way too prepared, and at best school would be delayed for a couple of hours, but I believe that only happened once. I did create my own snow days, but I did that year round, didn't really matter the weather. 

The cast in this is great. Chris Elliot as Snow Plow Man, Chevy Chase as the bumbling meteorologist, and Iggy Pop as the uptight ice rink manager. So many great jokes, and hearing Iggy Pop scream "Metallica sucks" is a highlight of my personal life. 

11.

I can put this on anytime. It has, and always will entertain me, like few films do. When I was a kid, I enjoyed the nudity, and the gang seemed like a group of people I would love to hang out with. Now I enjoy the....oh who am I kidding, I still love it for the same reasons. 

10.

It is always very difficult for me to pick my favorite John Waters flick. This, Pink Flamingos, and Desperate Living are always the three that fight for the title in my head. Pink Flamingos is his most famous, and most shocking, mostly due to the shit scene. I love everything about it. Desperate Living is insanely underrated in my opinion, but it always comes back to this one, for me. It has all of the shock of Flamingos, but just seems smarter, and it is easier for me to identify with the characters. I love the duel role of Divine, and the Christmas opening gives me an excuse to watch it every holiday season.

9.

More Ernest. There is no such thing as too much Ernest in my world. As stated previously, I love Christmas movies. I have a weird affinity for them. So mixing that with Ernest. Well, lets just say I have had to call the doctor, because this thing has definitely lasted longer than four hours. 

8.

I'm a dude....who is obsessed with Good Burger. It is rare for me to go a month without putting this on. Start to finish, I shit. 

7.

I struggled putting such a new movie so high on the list, but with the amount of times I have watched it, during its short life, made it seem valid in my head. The laughs just don't stop for me. I love that everyone basically plays the stereotype, most associated with them. I love the horror references, I love Satan's cock. I am not sure how to feel about the fact that that statement doesn't seem out of place, when coming out of my mouth. Never mind, I am Okay with that. 

 6.5.

 This is one of those films that took multiple watches to fully fall in love with. I liked it initially, but it wasn't until I had gotten to know the characters that it really shined for me.  It also gave me a new goal in life. Someday, I will send someone a giant cotton candy. Someday. 

6.

I had no interest in seeing this initially.The trailer didn't really make it look all that great, and I was pretty over Adam Sandler, by the point it came out. Once I watched it, I realized two things. It was fucking hilarious, and outside of his name being attached, Sandler wasn't really involved. I love when films play insane shit, straight. Like a monkey driving the two most stoned individuals you have ever seen, to a video game competition.

5.5.

A movie that not many have seen, but everyone should. It is so bat shit insane. Frank Stallone kills it. The scene where he does a flip of the balcony.....beautiful. 

5.

Another film I can quote from start to finish. So many brilliant characters, and the cast all own their roles. Goddamn, I really want some pig's feet.

4.5.

I remember being about ten or eleven, and I was up late watching films in my room. That was nothing new. Basically how I spent my evenings. I had to be up early the next morning, to meet with a friend. I was about to turn off the USA Network, where I had been watching some schlock film. Then I heard a couple of Canadians talking to a lion. I knew right then, sleep wasn't an option. I sat there with my eyes glued to the screen. To this day, I can't take my eyes away, if this is on the tube. 

 4.

I had already become obsessed with Poolboy, when I first heard about this. I loved the idea, and the trailer had me rolling on the ground. It finally hit shelves, and I had a party at the house of grog. A group of us put it in, and the laughter basically didn't stop until it was over. I couldn't breath. I couldn't talk, I could barely see, I was laughing so hard. I had to instantly watch it again alone, as I knew I had missed at least half the jokes due to the shitting going on in my living room. Ray Wise calling Einstein names, the Axis of Evil being werewolves, and the mystery of if FDR's cack, and if it was able to work. These along with every other second kept me playing this on repeat for days. Marco......Polio! 

3.5.

The amount of shitty movies this guy has directed, is kind of insane. Especially when you look at this, or his other masterpiece, which was Problem Child. It just baffles my brain. Oh well, that doesn't change the fact that this film is perfect. Truly bizarre, insane cinema. I have worn numerous copies of this tape out.

3.

I watch this every Halloween, and have every year since I was a little tike. I also end up watching throughout the year. I never have, and never will get sick of this. The aliens are hilarious, and Royal Dano reprises his role from Killer Klowns, basically. 

2.5.

So classic. Never really fancied myself a Tom Hanks fan, but when he is good, he nails it. This is definitely one of those times. Watching him, and his decent into madness, is mesmerizing. When he loses his shit, and is throwing a hissy, I can't breathe. The neighbors are creepy as shit, and I love the idea of throwing a party to watch your crazy neighbors.

2.

I had a hard time not putting this at number one. There are two reasons it didn't make it, and those are revealed below. A modern day eighties comedy. Not because it's an homage, or because part of it takes place in the eighties, but because it is pure insanity plot wise, that generally is only found in an eighties comedy. Crispin Glover is so fucking good. Waiting for him to lose his arm is comedic genius. So many quotes are now part of my everyday lexicon.

1.5.

Good goddamn! I will never get sick of this flick. I watched this so many times in my childhood. Mortician Matt, and I would watch this shit three times a day, at certain points. Joe Spinell has a small role in it, as well as Eddie Dezzen. If you haven't seen this. Watch it. Pure eighties perfection. 

 1.

It had to be number one. Ernest is God, and this is his masterpiece. I love everything he has done, but nothing can beat this for me. The troll is pretty terrifying, Eartha Kitt is amazing, and MIAK will save your life.

Thanks so much for reading along as I went down memory lane within the comedy world. I am in no way claiming the quality of these films. These are in order, based on my taste, my nostalgia, and my insanity. 

-Tromeric