Guts and Grog Tooned Up

Thursday, March 28, 2013

Randomness Awesomeness Challenge-ness

So a couple weeks back Freddy in Space posted this eight part questionnaire that Chad E. Young wrote up. I figured it would be fun to do up mine, but as I read his I realized that I didn't have a lot of photos that would be needed. I have been into horror as long as I can remember. I have been collecting as long as I can remember. The problem is, I have moved a fuck ton of times and have started over with my collections more times than that. From a super young age this trend began. Well because of this I wasn't even sure if pictures of me existed prior to 1998. Well I contacted the mad woman that created me with a little help from my dad's drunk sperm to inquire if she had any old pictures of me wearing costumes, or nerding out. Luckily she was able to oblige. Well the package showed up with some old pictures and I figured it's time to post this. Thanks to Chad E. Young for writing this up, and Freddy in Space for posting it initially.Here we go. 

If I had ticket stubs for all the films I have seen in the theater, I would need to rent out a second room just to store them. I have been spending my days in theaters as long as I can remember. The other reason I don't have any is I am notorious for throwing things away. I always plan on keeping little reminders like ticket stubs, flyers, etc....but they always end up in the trash. This is how I am with everything. I am a very nostalgic, very sentimental person, but only in my mind. I have never really needed physical proof of these things. Part of me wishes I had kept everything, but it is just not something I am capable of. I lost a dead grandfathers knife in a poker game. When one grandfather died we were given marbles with his years of life printed on them. I threw them away not long after. What the fuck do I need marbles for? Anyways I have rambled plenty. While I don't have a stub for it, even though it was earlier this year one of my favorite memories at a theater was seeing "Cannibal Holocaust" with my mom and Steph Infection. My mom was coming to visit, and it landed on the same day as the 35mm screening. I was excited to see her, but had to see "Cannibal Holocaust," so we improvised and had a family outing to the film. While she is not necessarily a fan of horror films, she can hold her own and sat through it like a champ. The best part is that there was a man in his thirties sitting next to us that vomited multiple times during the screening. He didn't feel the need to get up, or even try and hide it. Just spewing vomit like it was a Lucifer Valentine film with no shame. Hearing my sixty year old mother call a dude in a black metal shirt a sissy because he couldn't handle a movie is one of the highlights of my life. 

Steph Infection and I on Halloween in 85. Check out my sweet Batman shirt. Hell yeah. Like I said this was Halloween, the thing is I wore that cape all the fucking time. In 89 I wore it and made a video to Prince's Batdance. That is a video I would love to see, unfortunately the man that filmed it ended up going to prison for child porn, that story is for another time though.   

John Waters has always been one of my favorite humans. When I first read this I couldn't put it down. His stories of making films in his parents neighborhood with all of his friends was something I could definitely relate to. His commentary on  people and the city of Baltimore had me hooked. The way he made Baltimore sound like the shittiest and most amazing place in the world was something I could relate to. I grew up in Yakima, WA. One of the filthiest, crime ridden city's out there. The thing is, I loved it. I loved the street people, the hookers, the drugs, the crazy shit I saw on a day to day basis. I revisit this often and it will never leave my shelf, well, unless I am reading it. You get it. 

Throughout my life I have had many VHS. When I was super young I had thousands of tapes filled with shit I taped off TV, or recorded from movies I rented with a shitty video camera. The quality was beyond shit as most were recorded in SLP, so I could fit six hours worth on a tape. At the time that was as good as it got, and I fucking loved my collection. I wish I still had those, but like everything, times changed and I moved onto collecting legit VHS as I got older and the local video stores started having previously viewed sections.  Up until about 2003 I had an epic collection of VHS. Then I stupidly decided to upgrade to DVD and sold thousands of VHS. I have since started my collection over, but it is highly unlikely it will ever reach the epicness it once was. Well, now onto an actual answer. I went with two different choices for this question. One would have to be the "Serial Mom" screener that came in a cereal box. Jacob VonKlingele got this for me as a birthday gift back in the day, and it has never left. I also have been enjoying a lot of VHS comeback and equally love my signed, limited VHS for "The Taint" and "Dear God No!"


I have met many celebrities at conventions and other functions, and have had mostly great experiences with them. I would have to say one of the most genuine dudes I had the pleasure of meeting was Don Davis, or Major Briggs from "Twin Peaks" as I knew him. He was a gentleman and hilarious. Unfortunately he passed away not too long after I had the pleasure of meeting him. 
I could write an essay on my regrets of toys that I have owned in the past and are now longer with me. All of the Masters of the Universe, TMNT, GI Joe, Puppet Master, Boglins, Madballs. It goes on and on and on. While I have a pretty substantial collection these days there are thousands that I will most likely never be able to replace. One thing I have manged to keep around is my ALF collection. One of my prized possessions is this ALF mask. It is great on so many levels. Last minute Halloween costume, drunken boredom. Hell, I even recreated the scene from "Flashdance" with the milk once and stripped down to only the mask. There are seven people out there that will never un-see that. 
This is a hard one. I have a closet and dresser full of horror shirts. So many great ones. Gabe Nye got me a "C.H.U.D. II" shirt that is high on that list, but for sheer awesomeness on every level I have to go with Fright Rags' recent "Ernest Scared Stupid" shirt. It is one of my favorite movies ever, and to see it get the amount of love it did over at Fright Rags made it one of the most essential shirts in my collection.


Here I am as a hobo. I won 1500 bones that night. Not bad for a toddler. If only I had that scrilla now to put towards the grog's trip to Crypticon Seattle. 

- Tromeric

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Brutal- Michael Patrick Stevens/Darla Rae

Brutal is not the just title, it is not just what you are in store for when watching this. It is also the name of the man that is about to ruin A. Michael Baldwin's day more than the tall man did back in seventy nine.

When I started this I was initially worried it was going to be one of two things, or both. Found footage, or straight up torture porn. While those aren't guaranteed to ruin my opinion of a film, they sure weigh down its options. Not a lot of back story is given right off the bat. We meet up with Brutal, who is torturing the shit out of Carl Gibson while he sits in what I can assume is the first electric chair. Brutal tells Carl they are gonna play a game. I was worried again here. Was I about to watch another movie attempt to cash in on "Saw?" The thing I liked right off the bat. This game wasn't overly thought out and difficult. No Jigsaw here. Brutal has a wheel. I like to think of it as the "you're fucked" wheel. No good is coming of this. From here everything unfolds rather cleverly. Carl keeps losing limbs, and we keep finding out more. Mostly told in flashbacks, as most of the story takes place in one room, which gives it a  real theater feel.

Now lets move onto the things that stand out in Brutal. A. Michael Baldwin straight kills it here. He brings realism and emotion, and along with Michael Patrick Stevens carries the film to a new level. With out these performances it could of easily ended up being forgettable low budget tripe. Alan Howarth wrote a chilling score that helps you stay in the right mindset.The effects are great. Graphic and intense, without crossing in to the pornographic side of gore, not that that is always bad, but for the story I feel like it was balanced as well as that guy from "Man on Wire."

It is not perfect, at times the budget shows, but if you want to watch a complex character study with gore and a haunting score, I know a dude you should meet, his name is Brutal.

I am excited to see future products from this team. With what they got out of what they had, I can only imagine the awesome they will bring with more.