Guts and Grog Tooned Up

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Piranhaconda- Jim Wynorski

     I love creature films. I always have and I always will. I am a bit to young to have enjoyed the heyday when they were always at the drive in but even as a kid in the eighties I would get some thanks to horror hosts and VHS. I loved all the atomic era films even if I didn't live through them. In the last few years we have gotten a slew of them thanks to companies like The Maneater Series, The Asylum and Roger Corman getting back in the game. These are shclock. You don't watch them expecting to be changed, you watch them because you want to have fun. I know 2 Headed Shark Attack didn't change the face of cinema. You know what it did do? Gave me a huge nerd boner and made my day better. Is that so wrong?
     Piranhaconda, like Sharktopus starts out with an amazing theme song. This time it is a rockabilly song with the voice of an angel basically telling us what we are in store for, as if we didn't know. We meet up with Michael Madsen who is looking for eggs with his team. They quickly get the shit eaten out of them, hell the Piranhaconda even takes down a helicopter.  My question is why did the pilot think he could get away from a monster in a helicopter? Hasn't he seen Lake Placid or Mega Shark? They love to eat flying food.  I just want to point out that this is at four minutes  and fifteen seconds. Yeah! You get to meet the monster before the five minute mark and it devastates people. Thank you Mr. Wynorski for giving the people what they want. We then meet up with the rest of the bunch they are making a movie called Head Chopper which from what I can tell might be a sequel To Carnage: The Legend of Quiltface. A movie that I would love to see within a movie I am loving to see. Today is awesome. Well quickly some of the crew becomes fish snake.  food. Now that we have gotten some action it is time to bring some more story in. To accomplish this Michael Madsen gets kidnapped and the movie crew joins him soon after. Now Piranhaconda can really fuck some shit up.
     This movie delivers exactly what you want in a movie called Piranhaconda. The pissed off snake eats the shit out of so many people leaving nothing but limbs flooding the beach. The characters are all pretty entertaining  and the dialogue is pretty quick witted. You have all the classics. The airhead actress with a rocking bod, the smart unattainable final girl and the stud who happens to be the stuntman that plays Head Chopper and let me tell you he would make Steve Railsback jealous with his skills. The bad guys are pretty cliche but that is OK. They are just food for the snake.
     In the end like most of these you now whether you are interested in seeing it. I for one am usually happy with these and add a name like Wynorski and it pretty much means excellence. This guy continues to roll out fun and entertaining films for us to enjoy in spite of the whiny critics who can't figure out he knows what he is doing. It is not that he is incapable of making a "great film" it is that he doesn't give a shit and he just wants us to have fun on a Saturday night.



Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Interview with Bobby Canipe: Bloody Bones and other random things my drunk ass thought up.

Bobby Canipe is making a movie called Bloody Bones. It is a eighties influenced horror film that is sure to slap you in the face after it rips it off. I sat down this morning with Bobby at the other end of this crazy internet and racked his brain about everything from cereal to what to expect from this beast.

Bobby Canipe


Tromeric: OK. Since this is Guts and Grog lets get started with some questions involving horror and drank before we move on.

Bobby:  sure thing

Tromeric:  What is your favorite alcoholic beverage?

Bobby:  If you consider beer an alcoholic beverage, I guess I would have to go with Keystone Light. It's pretty much always in my hand. If you're going for harder stuff, I rarely drink it, but i guess I'd have to go with Kraken rum.

Tromeric:  Do you prefer to watch films while consuming the grog or sober, or does it depend on the film?

Bobby:  Always while consuming, although that doesn't happen much. I'm usually either with my daughter or at work when I watch the majority of my flicks.

Tromeric:  Makes sense. Life and responsibilities always gets in the way of my movie watching as well. I guess at least you have a life where you can watch a lot of films.

Bobby:  Fortunately I do. I always figure out someway to though .

Tromeric: Alright.Fulci or Argento?

Bobby: Fulci.

Tromeric:  What is your favorite non horror film?

Bobby:  I would probably have to go with Missing in Action 2.

Tromeric:  Do you prefer to watch films with people or alone?

Bobby:  Depends on the film I guess, if it's something i am really looking forward to/expecting to be great, then usually alone. My friends usually talk a lot and it distracts me. If its something I've already seen, or something I could care less about, I love friends over. The more the better.

Tromeric:  To go along with that at home or in the theater?

Bobby:  Most definitely at home. The theater experience used to be great, but with the prices, cramped seating, and horrible teenagers that frequent my local theaters, its just and enjoyable hassle visiting the cinema. I usually only go if its a movie I HAVE to see.

Tromeric: So in this day and age with horror being as huge as it is it is hard to find a film that isn't chalked full of references and homages. Does it enhance a film for you when you catch a nod to Romero or whoever or take you out of the film? Or again does it depend on the film?

Bobby:  Definitely depends on the film. If its a lower budget indie effort, I love seeing little homages that show the filmmakers influences. However, if a higher budgeted flick does the same thing, I feel like they're just trying to pull of some sort of fan service and come across as "cool" to genre aficionados.

Tromeric:  Pretty much where I stand as well. Sometimes I really like it but there is definitely a point where it becomes overkill.

Bobby:  Absolutely.

Tromeric:  How important is music to you in regards to a film?

Bobby:  You know, its not HUGE to me, but if they can pull off an incredible soundtrack, it can definitely make a movie better. Look at Donnie Darko, I love that film, and its probably 90% because of the soundtrack. Also, where would the Lost Boys be without their ICONIC soundtrack. Not to mention Night of the Demons and the Bauhaus track.

Tromeric:  Can't argue with that. Do you prefer score or song?

Bobby:  A mixture preferably, but if i had to pick one, I would go with song. I believe a song can bring forth an emotion that a score can't. Plus it feels more contemporary and realistic. BUT once again it depends on the movie.

Tromeric:  Alright, a couple more of my bullshit questions than we shall move onto Bloody Bones.

Bobby:  No problem man.

Tromeric:  Frankenberry, Boo Berry, or Count Chocula?

Bobby:  Frankenberry definitely.

Tromeric:  Brian over at 13 Bats taught me to mix Frank and Boo for some Frankenboo. Gotta admit it is pretty awesome.

Bobby:  WOW. that sounds amazing. if only i could find it around here out of season.

Tromeric:  That is why I stock up every year at Halloween. OK. I am guessing I know the answer to this but VHS or DVD/Blu?

Bobby:  Haha. most definitely VHS, although I do own a fair number of DVD/Blu rays.

Tromeric:  Film, Digital or Video?

Bobby:  I dig all but if I had to choose it would have to be Video, because my favorite genre is SOV. (Shot on Video)

Tromeric:  And the worst question for a horror nerd. Favorite horror film?

Bobby:  Oh god(laughing). I gotta go with The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974), yeah its mainstream as hell, but is absolutely fantastic every time I watch it.

Tromeric:  I have to fully agree with you on that.  Now onto Bloody Bones.

Bobby: Awesome.

Tromeric:  How long have you wanted to make a horror film and what finally gave you the push to do it?

Bobby:  I've been wanting to make a horror flick as far back as I can remember. When I was 15, a friend of mine took me to visit the set of Carrie 2: The Rage. I didn't see much in the way of horror per say, but I loved the film making process. Years went by of me growing and growing into this MASS of horror nerddom until I volunteered to work on a web series called "The Dark One" earlier this year. While there i met several people that shared the same passion for genre film making as me. So i figured, I have the people, lets do it!

Tromeric:  What are some of the things we can expect with Bloody Bones?

Bobby:  First off GORE. We are striving for unbelievable, holy shit, brutal gore. Easily 2/3 of our budget will be put directly into blood/gore FX. Also, you will see an 80s touch on the whole project. From the box art, to little homages in the movie, to the actual time period the movie takes place in (late 80s). Everything we're doing is to replicate that awesome kids in a house, 80s horror flick Ala Night of the Demons.

Tromeric:  Sounds good to me. Has anything surprised you while getting it together. Like the amount of interest or people that have commented on it?

Bobby:  Definitely the interest in acting. We have had an overwhelming response for auditions. People that are willing to work for basically free (all we are able to offer is meals and an IMDB credit) and give us their all. It's pretty awesome. Also, the horror community has really embraced Bloody Bones in its formative stage. It really shows the tight nit community that exists in the horror genre.

Tromeric:  I agree. It is a crazy place this horror world we live in.

Bobby:  Most definitely.

Tromeric:  Is there an estimated time on when it will be ready to be released and are you looking to release it yourself or are you going to try and get a distributor involved?

Bobby:  We are shooting the last 2 weekends of July with an extra weekend available if needed. I hope to have it done by Halloween with a possible Halloween night release. We actually have 2 awesome distributors vying for our attention right now. I can't mention any names, but I can say that we're excited and either one of them will be great. Bloody Bones will be released on a limited edition numbered VHS and unlimited basic DVDs.

Tromeric:  Well I am looking forward to it and thank you for humoring me by answering my grog induced questions.

Bobby:  Dude anytime,thank you very much for featuring me on such a prestigious blog.

Tromeric:  Thank you sir.(laughing so hard I spit Evan Williams out my nose)

Check the teaser above. It is not final footage but gives you an idea of the size of boner you will get watching this. I am stoked to see the final product and make sure you check out all the social networking sites and keep up to date with this awesome. I want to thank Bobby for enduring through my first interview I have done since I used to interview punk bands for zines I made in my bedroom in high school.

 - Tromeric


Thursday, June 14, 2012

Bloody Bones- an American Horror House Production (Press Packet)

an American Horror House Production

Directed by Bobby Canipe Jr.
Written by G.M. Hill and Blair Hoyle
American Horror House Productions
(803) 230-1265
3444 Philadelphia Church Rd.
Dallas, NC 28034
Bloody Bones Crew:

Director/Story by: Bobby Canipe Jr.
Screenplay by: G.M Hill and Blair Hoyle
Executive Producers: Blair Hoyle and G.M. Hill
Director of Photography: Nick C. Black

Special Effects: Elizabeth C. Dennis, Brandon Boone

Editor: Cody A. Barnes

In 1987, five youths enter a decrepit house looking for a place to party and escape the weather for the night. Instead they find a nightmare. For inside the basement, there lives a skinless monster by the name of Bloody Bones.......and he's hungry.
Crew Biographies:

Bobby Canipe Jr. (Director): Born on August 5th 1984, Bobby Canipe Jr. quickly grew a love of film, and more specifically, the horror genre. Growing up on such horror classics as Night of the Demons, Cannibal Campout, and The Monster Squad, Bobby started writing his own short horror stories at a very young age. During his high school years, he delved into the hobby of Horror VHS and Memorabilia Collecting. Over the years he has continued watching horror films and becoming more and more knowledgeable. In the year 2012, Bobby worked on the set of the episodic web show "The Dark One" as both a Production Assistant and Actor further sparking his interest in film making. Shortly thereafter, Bobby finally took the plunge of writing the story and directing his first feature length project, "Bloody Bones.”

G.M. Hill (Executive Producer/Writer): Grady Michael "Mike" Hill was born on February 28, 1992 in Fort Mill, SC. He discovered a love for writing at an early age. After a failed attempt as music studies, he was accepted in the Western Carolina University Motion Picture and Television Production department and began learning the art of filmmaking. In 2012, he and friend Blair Hoyle founded the horror review site Cinema Slasher as well as the American Horror House, a group dedicated to independent horror films. He has many times cited Kevin Williamson as the biggest creative influence on his writing.
Blair Hoyle (Executive Producer/ Writer): A self-proclaimed "horror geek," Blair Hoyle is a 20-year-old film student from Dallas, North Carolina. Growing up on Kevin Williamson scripts, Are You Afraid of the Dark? and Goosebumps, Blair was obsessed with the horror genre from a very young age. In April of 2012, Blair founded American Horror House Productions with his classmate G.M. Hill. Now only a junior at Western Carolina University, Blair believes that he is far from having reached his full potential as a filmmaker. Blair's goal in the industry is to make films that people have fun watching...and to never become some artsy douchebag.
Elizabeth C. Dennis (Special Effects): After years of studying commercial music at Western Carolina University, Elizabeth C. Dennis began helping with film projects in the North Carolina area, eventually finding her passion in the design and creation of special effects. After working on several short films and building her experience, she was recruited to work on Bloody Bones, her first feature. She has always enjoyed horror movies, and found that she loved them even more after working in the genre. She is a founding member and head of special effects for the American Horror House.
Nick Black (Director of Photography): Self-taught in the ways of filmmaking, Nick Black has a goal and nothing gets in his way. Born on January 3rd, 1992 and growing up with a love of movies and more specifically, the horror genre, Nick developed a rabid fascination with the process behind the movie. He was raised on a steady diet of horror, especially the zombie genre, and also had a love for the classic slashers. Nick currently attends Gaston College, pursuing a degree in Broadcasting and his dream is to learn every aspect of filmmaking, and not to limit himself to one role. Since starting his venture, Nick has taken the role of cameraman, cinematographer, assistant director, and most recently director of his first short film. In the summer of 2012, Nick started as Director of Photography for the feature length, Bloody Bones.
Brandon Boone (Special Effects): Born January 31st 1991, Brandon Boone grew up loving horror classics like Dawn of the Dead, Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things, Evil Dead, etc. Throughout his teens his passion for horror grew, as did his curiosity for the work behind the gore. This drove Brandon to purchase a special effects kit from a local Halloween store, and this is when the addiction began. After high school, Brandon went to work on several projects, and is now working on Bobby Canipe’s Bloody Bones.
Cody A. Barnes (Editor): Born on January 10, 1992, Cody A. Barnes discovered his love for films in high school whilst filming military and cop spoof movies with friends. Originally interested in camera work, Cody was drawn to post production because he liked working on computers and enjoyed the challenge of fitting pieces together. Coming from a musical background, Cody found his passion in editing films. Known for always having a Mountain Dew and sunflower seeds when he edits, he has an incredible eye for continuity issues and is the resident editor for American Horror House Productions. Cody works as a projectionist in a movie theater and attends Western Carolina University studying film. He is asthmatic and loves action and horror films.
Production / Publicity Photos:



Friday, June 8, 2012

Crypticon 2012 or: My Last Horror Con Before John Cusack Saves Me In His Limo

Poster by Nick Gucker
    Growing up I would always see adds in Fango for different conventions full of actors and directors that I would gladly give HJs to if I had the chance. I dreamed of going to one the same way Andy Dufresne dreamed of his freedom from Shawhank.  The problem was I was in Washington State and all the adds were for East Coast or occasionally LA.  I had no way of making it and it killed my insides. Through the years I made it to a couple Comicons and even a Couple Twin Peaks Fests that made my nerd boner twitch like a madman.  I went to a tiny Comicon here in Portland before I moved here that Brinke Stevens was at and that was amazing. At the time it felt like it might be the closest I would ever get to a real horror con. Well jump ahead a couple years and I heard that there was going to be one in Seattle. That was only two hours away from me at the time. My pants were more full of shit than your unwanted child. I along with Gabe Nye, Jacob Von Klingele, and the Keith Innitive went and nerded out like Bobby Carradine. It was amazing. I felt at home. Great people, so much shit to buy and drinks and fun that I can't even explain. Jump ahead to the next year I had just moved to Portland. I made the trip but I was lower on cash than MC Hammer. It was fun but not quite the same. Over the next couple years responsibility and obligations got the best of me and I missed the third and fourth year. Well I am glad to say that this year I said fuck everything and just did it. I took a week off work, bought a train ticket to Seattle, booked a room in a hotel way nicer than I had any business being in and stroked my nerd boner in a path of chaos and nerdgasm.

My trip was like this but less Asian and I didn't have a cute Japanese girl sitting across from me. 

Gigantor the nerd vs this bed. I lost. 

     So because life is an evil bitch I got insanely sick right before I left for the con. I spent the day before I left in bed watching horror films on so much NyQuil that my liver was begging for my normal abuse. I got up Thursday and went to work then came home got shit ready and Peter Poison took me to the train station. The train was more packed than a 711 on welfare day.  I met some good folks which made for a fun trip outside of feeling like death.  I arrived in Seattle pretty much three hours later and Jacob Von Klingele picked me up and we headed back to his place. A couple hours of catching up and checking out his progress on what will be one of the grog's most amazing contests yet. I may as well let it slip here. Soon you will have the chance to win a custom Dear God No! action figure set and let me tell you your shit will be rock hard. Well back to the point. We nerded then I attempted to sleep but being as I assumed I could sleep in his son's bed which was two twin mattresses  surrounded by cartoon VHS and a Sharktopus figure. Needless to say sleep didn't really happen.

     The next day I hung out with Jacob Von Klingle's own mistress of the dark Alisha Von Klingele. I took her to get a burger and coffee to thank her for letting me take over her lair. She then dropped me off at the Hilton and I checked in and fought the urge to lay down on the much more fitting bed for me they offered.
Cody(Sadistik) and his bad ass girl showed up and we lounged around learning about Songs in the key of Murder which was up to like seven views after their Fango add. We then headed down to the con and were of course given a very warm welcome and headed into the real version of Heaven. Right away I see Doug Bradley, Danielle Harris, Dee Wallace, Marilyn Burns, Richard Kiel, Don Coscarelli along with tons of other horror icons. We walk around some more and I am overflowing with shit I want to buy. Movies, books, art, posters, toys, and pretty much anything you can think of. We just wandered around and took it in. Cody hit up Marilyn Burns who you might know as the bad ass final girl from the best horror film ever made The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. 

    We then went and talked to Pinhead himself, Doug Bradley. He had such sights to show us. He was a true gentlemen and with his soft spoken British accent answered our questions signed our swag and gave no indication he wanted to rip our flesh off with the Lament Configuration. We spent some money, had some fun, met some badasses and ran into old friends. It was a great start but sleep dep and starvation was starting to win so we headed down the road to hit up 13 coins for some late night grub. Cody and Alexis left as he had to fly out to Minnesota for a show the next morning and I felt like I was in Jacobs Ladder. I layed down in probably the best bed I have ever slept in and found that they were playing the shitty Pumpkinhead sequel that Doug Bradley was in so I put it on and passed out like a girl at a frat party.
The Grog and The Splatterbeast!

     The next morning I woke up, walked the like five hundred feet to the Starbucks down the hall got a coffee and sat out in the smoking area drinking my breakfast waiting for Jacob Von Klingele.  He arrived and we got right on it. We wandered the halls talking and spending. We spent lots of time at our new friend Reuben Splatterbeast's table. This guy makes some of the best art for a horror nerd you can even fathom. I could of easily spent all of my cash at his table. Horror and metal all done in a way that will definitely piss your mom off, unless of course your mom is as cool as mine. She's not!

 I ended up getting a severed hand painted like Henry: Portrait of  a Serial Killer, A Coffin Joe Candle and a ton of prints that make my house way more bad ass than yours.   I also ended up running into an old friend that has for years now covered my ass with threads that would make Tangerine from Garbage Pail Kids jealous. Lix Online.  I got a bad ass Video Dead shirt as did Jacob Von Klingele. The Kieth Initiative and Sadistik hooked up her beautiful Torso shirt. Wow!

     While checking out all the great shit I met The Comic Critic Mark Monlux who I had the pleasure to talk to and  bought his book while I was at it. He said he would draw me into a movie. I of course first asked for C.H.U.D. II which he hadn't seen, I then went for Ghoulies 3: Ghoulies Go To College which was also a bust. I finally met him at Troll II which he was able to draw me into by memory alone. I highly recommend checking him out. Reviews less drunk then mine but full of humor and spoiler free.

Little Keith is so excited right now.
The rest of the day was full of talking to other badasses of horror. Dee Wallace who had so many posters and prints I wanted. I ended up going with the Popcorn print as, well Popcorn owns my soul. I went and talked to Marilyn Burns some more as well as Don Coscarelli and  the surprise highlight of the con Robert Jayne who you might remember as Melvin from Tremors as well as one of my favorite sequels this side of Troll, Night of the Demons 2. Don Coscarelli remembered me from three years ago which was insanely impressive but at the same time he is such a genuine dude it kind of makes sense. We went and watched his Q and A and spent a while talking to him after. The Keith Initiative got a Phantasm II poster which Don graciously signed  with his memories of dinner. I think there may be some shenanigans going on with this story but regardless it is a great moment in history.

Hey Melvin. Wanna make a buck?

Now back to the man, the myth. Robert Jayne. I had so much fun talking to this mad man. I don't think he did very many cons as he seemed to be surprised how much people like Night of the Demons 2 as well as feeling guilty about charging for an autographed picture. We all stood around talking to him for a while about everything from movies he had done with other guests there such as Cerrina Vincent and  Dee Wallace to how Joey Lawrence had been all growed up and went by Joe now. While talking to "Melvin" we found out he was there working with Vern Fonk. Being that I am a Portland kid and not a Seattle kid I had no idea who that was when he announced it. Quickly Jacob Von Klingele and The Keith Initiative were like " I love Vern Fonk. Honk for Fonk." at which point he turned around in slow-mo. It was priceless. I have since checked into him and let me tell you if I lived in Seattle I would definitely get my insurance from the Fonk. Check out one of many awesome commercials I found. Yeah. You know you want to get insurance from him.

   After the day of awesome we headed down the road to get some food and decided we were gonna go by 7-11 to get some snacks so we could just relax and watch some movies in the room. I was beyond exhausted by this point. While walking to the store a beam from heaven shined down and low and behold there was a liquor store that was still open. We hit it up and headed back to the room for some much needed relaxing and bullshiting time. Kicked the old Ipod on random and put down a fifth of Evan. It was like heaven but real.

    In the end Crypticon was more of a blast than your mom felt on prom night. It may not be the biggest con but for us kids on the West Coast it has a  special place in our heart and is given more love by the organizers than the alter boy is given at St. Josephs. 
Some of the swag I picked up.

 As long as John Cusack does his job I will see everyone in 2013.



Saturday, June 2, 2012

Piranha 3DD- John Gulager

     A sequel to the Aja remake of the Corman/Dante trash epic directed by John Gulager the genius behind the Feast movies. That sentence is all I need to know to get me more pumped than a Reebok in the nineties.
     Dimension fist fucked this movie for some unknown reason. Sure it is a trashy, cheesy, obscene film. So what? That is what I want. Sometimes it is okay to let your guard down and turn off your Terrance Malick Blu Ray. After being pushed around like a autistic kid on the playground this finally came out on like two screens and got shit onto VOD. Luckily for me this autistic kid has retard strength and punched everyone in the dick with its awesome.
     After the events of the last movie the beach has shut down. The next town over has taken advantage of that by tuning their boring ass water park into a oasis of tits and ass. Stripper lifeguards, topless girls and David Hasselhoff.   Well the piranha have gotten smarter and pulled a Jaws 3 and moved into the park. Carnage ensues.
     I feel like I don't really need to go on. You get it. You know if you wanna see it. Gary Buesy and  Clu Gulager are awesome. Christopher Lloyd is back and crazier than before, Ving Rhames got a lesson from Cherry Darling and David Hasselhoff shines in what might be his best roll yet. Katrina Bowden broke up with Dale to shoot fish out her vagina and cause her boy toy to join Heavens Gate. The thing is she is still sexy. The movie is everything you think. It is predictable, it is low brow, it is ridiculous,it looks good, it is annoying at points,  it has no shame. If it was a girl I would do everything in my power to fuck it.